Gakuen Alice: Natsume Hyuuga
by W.Blackbird
Summary: This is the Gakuen Alice series from the perspective of Natsume Hyuuga where we delve into his mind, observe the nature of his missions, ascertain his motivations, and discover all that occurred to him off the pages.
1. Finding the Light

A/N: I have elected to call Mochiage 'Lift-Up,' as Mochiage is a nickname which means just that. Likewise, I have elected to call Kokoroyomi, 'Mind-Reader,' as, once again, that is what Kokoroyomi actually means. It is a nickname. Finally, I decided to spell Ruka, as Lucas, given that he is half-french; I believe that 'Ruka' is just the romanji of his actual given name.

 **Chapter 1: Finding the Light**

Natsume slammed into the wall hard.

"How dare you look at me like that?!"

He heard the voice shout-like he wanted to look at that ugly mug-felt the hand against his chest, but didn't know the perpetrator of the assault. His eyes were closed from the impact; his teeth gritted as he routinely ignored the bruises forming on his upper back. Did it even matter who said it? Who'd done it? It was always the same old stupid refrain anyway: Assholes. His eyes flung open, and he glared at the three students in front of him blabbering on and on.

"...I don't see why you were appointed the only executive student in the elementary branch at all."

Blah, Blah, Blah: Idiots.

"Natsume!" His best friend, his only genuine friend really, Lucas, called out anxiously as he ran up the corridor, but Natsume ignored him, and continued to stare hatred at the middle schoolers in front of him. He wished Lucas would go. He didn't want him involved in this garbage. He didn't want to paint a target on his friend's back, best end this quickly.

He pushed himself off the wall, and turned his head deliberately to the side. The moron who shoved him, and his two goons backed off quickly: Good, they should be afraid. Natsume grabbed Lucas's shoulder to march him away: Just ignore it.

"Oh, give me a break! Other students have only been executive reserves for years, but a murderer like you gets to become a representative, seriously?"

Natsume's back stiffened.

"You're an arsonist! A recognised criminal. You don't deserve the honour!"

Honour, yeah right, this cunt was nothing but an imbecile. Seriously though, if he'd _really_ burnt down his whole village, did they _really_ think it was smart to aggravate him? What? Did they think being in the Academy would stop him? That he couldn't kill all of them if he wanted to? With minimal effort? Were they _trying_ to get on his bad side? Did they think they were invulnerable? Dickheads. He might be punished, and severely, if he did do it, but they'd still be dead now wouldn't they? Or nursing third-degree burns: Such a tempting thought…

"The only reason you've got such a position is because you're _his_ favourite."

...and dammit, the brainless twits were attracting a crowd now. Was it honestly too much to ask to be left alone? It's all he wanted; didn't seem like too much, really. He kept walking.

"Hey, isn't that Natsume Hyuuga?"

"Whoa… I've heard about him. They say he's a mass murderer."

"A juvenile killer…."

Whisper, whisper, whisper, but naturally he can hear every single one. He ducked his head, and coughed discreetly into his hand, placing it inside his pocket to hide the blood. He didn't want Lucas to see how bad it was. He didn't want anyone to see his weakness; he didn't want to admit this actually hurt. Dragging up those stupid rumours again… Oh, he was going to burn those three to meatballs next time he saw them.

"Natsume, it's best not to get involved with people like that."

He gave no reply. Lucas meant well, and he wasn't wrong, but sometimes he wanted to just grab those self-righteous bastards by the collar, and pin them to the lockers. He wanted to slowly burn them up by their appendages, and ask them if they weren't afraid of fire. If they wanted a fight, he wanted to give it to them, and every other prick, bastard, and punk in this hellhole they called a school. Why not? They were asking for it! Day by day, why put up with this farce? Why not put the fear of the Black Cat into those losers? Because he'd get punished? Ha! He's breathing punishment anyway, he may as well earn it putting those asses in their place. The Academy couldn't do too much to him anyway, or, rather, they needed him at least functioning to do their dirty work. It's his only bargaining chip: A fairly useful one too if you're careful weighing pros and cons. Still, he always holds back, probably 'cause no one'd care, (and he, rather unfortunately, would, probably.)

In a small recess of his heart where Natsume pressed everything down, down, down, but couldn't deny, (realistically, the pressure was reaching critical there), he always hoped someone would see him. When he raged at the hecklers in the hallways, when he ignored the lackeys and parasites hanging off him, (the ones he neither wanted nor requested), he just wanted an acknowledgement of the injustice. That's all: For someone to admit it was all screwed, even if they did nothing else; for someone to see, and not turn a blind eye, or try to justify it, or say "it'll all be okay," but recognise the truth. Fan or foe, no one ever seemed to wonder where he got all his scars, why he sometimes was covered in bruises, why he ended up in the hospital so fricking often. Oh, they fawned and condemned, but never actually gave a damn, and he found he craved a sense of vindication no one ever gave a shit about. It got him pissed beyond his own comprehension, although the apathy shouldn't be a surprise, really, because if people cared, he wouldn't be here: A ten year old boy with blood-stained hands, and an outlook as dark as ash. One man wanted power, and no one bothered to stop him, probably because they were riding his coattails. Never mind who gets trampled underfoot. Never mind the means. Natsume knows how this world works by now, no rose-tinted glasses. You're hated, ignored, or used; if you're ever fortunate enough to find someone who doesn't fit that, you'd better never let them go. Oh, and nothing comes for free, not even love.

"Natsume?"

"What?"

"You're headed the wrong way for class."

"Huh. Right, whatever, I'm ditching. I don't think I could take anymore bullshit today."

"Alright, I'll go with you."

"No." Natsume spoke forcefully this time, rather than dully, and turned to look his friend straight in the eyes. "I'm fine by myself, really. I want to be my myself." Lucas looked hurt, so Natsume tacked on, "Just for now."

His friend nodded looking concerned, but said nothing, and walked away. Natsume appreciated the reprieve. He was grateful for the support of his best friend, but sometimes it was a burden, not Lucas's presence, nor the sacrifices Natsume was always willing to make to protect his friend, but the knowledge that he was hurting Lucas too, dragging him down into his own abyss of despair, that he might be failing him. That knowledge was hard to live with. Natsume didn't know how to get out of his pit, and Lucas was too loyal not to follow. It rested heavy on Natsume's shoulders. Lucas's friendship was sometimes the only thing that made him believe this world wasn't entirely cruel, and he didn't want him to ever regret it. He wanted his friend to smile again, be happy again, but Lucas couldn't while Natsume suffered, so everything spiraled, and the burdens on his young shoulders grew. Natsume couldn't even promise things would get better. It was so goddamn pointless, wasn't it? He sacrificed for the people he loved, and all he seemed to ensure was that the life he'd bought them would be miserable. How do you live with that? Why bother?

Natsume came here to protect his sister. Lucas had followed. Now, Natsume poured his life out with his Alice in the hopes of keeping them both safe, and while he'd once hoped that maybe he'd last long enough to graduate, he doubted it these days. He was already coughing up blood; he wouldn't last another eleven years. Lucas's talk of a peaceful future, (thank god he'd stopped with it lately), all those hopes and dreams, they only reminded him of what he could never have. His was a life spent proudly bowing his head to a man he hated to protect others until the day he expired. Trapped by his own nature, his own compassion and conscience keeping him there, he wondered if those people who spat at him even knew, if it wasn't for him, they might be the next chosen; they might be dead, and that despite his own lapses in self-control, and his abysmal reputation, he only wanted to use his fire to protect and it was killing him. Worse still, if he ever got out of this Academy, would Kuonji really give up his sister? Probably not. Natsume knew he needed to last long enough to free her himself, somehow, and get them both out, but he didn't know how, and the situation was getting desperate. He needed to last at least two more years, until middle school, then he might be able to sneak into the Flower Princess Den where she was being held hostage. Just two more years, he could last that long, couldn't he? Maybe? If he could just get her, and get out, maybe he could make it, maybe. Even if he died getting her to safety, it would all have been worth it. His greatest fear now was that if he died this year, or the next, sometime soon, Aoi and Lucas would face all too imaginable horrors, and everything might have been in vain, wasted life.

Would he ever really be free? Would he seriously be able to forget? Put it all behind him? Everything he's seen? Everything he's done? What he knows will continue happening to others? Even outside of the Academy, he'll be ruled by it, because he gave a crap, even when he tried not to. Was _this_ why his mother had been part of an Anti-Academy group? He understood. He finally understood, and the pressure on his shoulders, the cyclical nature of his thoughts made him want to crawl out of his skin. They gave him raging headaches. Think, think, think, and there seemed no possible way out of this mess. Lucas had said lately his eyes were fierce and dark, like a wild animal caged. Natsume believed him. If love was stronger than hate, he hadn't seen it yet. It was just the only thing that gave his suffering the slightest bit of meaning. Natsume closed his eyes under some random tree and went to sleep: A nice reprieve from life, provided he could avoid the nightmares.

* * *

"Hey, hey, you wouldn't believe what I heard from my uncle!"

It was two weeks later: A different set of numskulls, the same old talk. It wasn't directed at him, of course it wasn't; they were just talking extra loud, and sneaking glances right at him.

"He's working at the department that censors the incoming mail, and I heard there were ones from Natsume Hyuuga's father…"

This time Lift-Up, who was ditching with him and Lucas, was the one to start the hustling away. It was uncharacteristic of him not to start mouthing off, so maybe something had showed on Natsume's face when his heart had skipped a beat. No one had ever openly discussed his father in such a manner before-not that it mattered, not that anything mattered. They were just trying to get a rise out of him.

"Wait, does he even have a father? I thought he burnt even his entire family to death…"

"Well, it seems he does. Just his old man, apparently, and all his letters go straight to the disposal room. You know, I even thought about taking one and selling it."

Natsume's eyes widened, and his gait faltered against his iron will. Aside from his usual disdain for people who would sell something so intensely precious to someone, (some people had no self-respect), what if it was true? Not that he would ever be able to get his hands on a letter, but that his Dad was writing him, still, after so many years?

"Since there were so many, I doubt anyone'd notice if I took one."

He stopped in his tracks. Had Dad really written that many? Not just a few, but enough to pile up?

"Hey!"

He and his friends turned. The middle schoolers were talking directly to him now.

"You know, I wouldn't mind selling the letters to you, as long as you do what we want you to do. C'mon, what do you say? After all, it's up to you if you really want those letters…"

"Shut up," Natsume snarled. It was a lame response, but he was compromised, and it was all he had left in him. He just hoped they didn't realise how much this was cutting.

"Ah, don't be like that. You don't even know what it is we want you to do yet."

He said nothing, but he was giving them his attention, and they knew it. He hated it. He couldn't stop it.

"We want you to escape from the Academy, and if you can return safely, I will give your letter from your dad to you. As I said before, it's all up to you, but you wouldn't want to let go of this once in a lifetime opportunity now would you? Besides, if you've really got an Alice the level of a special star student, it should be easy for you. What do you say, Hyuuga?"

"Fine," he muttered against his will.

"Agreed," the other boy smiled coldly, and Lift-Up and Lucas merely stared, slack-jawed, trailing after Natsume as he walked away up the stairs towards the roof. He'd feel less like the walls were closing in on him where the air was fresh.

"Natsume, don't tell me you're actually going to do it?"

Silence.

"Come on! It's all just a trick and you know it!"

"I know."

"Even if it's all true, they'd never risk giving you the letter."

An affirmative grunt.

"Then why are you still gonna do it? I know there's just a slight chance you might get something out of it, but you know the risks are way too high! They just want you to get in trouble so your privileges get taken away."

He knew. He didn't care. He wished Lift-Up would let the matter go, but it was Lucas who surprised him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so taken off guard, Lucas had always stood by him through everything, but Natsume found himself more shocked by him than anyone else all day. Perhaps it was because everyone always seemed so determined to tell him what to do, to control him. Maybe he'd grown used to the fight, always expecting it.

"Natsume, if you've made up your mind, I won't stop you. Just be careful."

His friend placed a hand on Natsume's shoulder, and Natsume felt maybe, just maybe, Lucas understood what he couldn't say: Sometimes he felt older than his years, far too old, and sometimes he felt he was battered around a void, and sometimes the only thing that got him out of bed was his love for his sister, and truthfully, while he often wondered how it would feel like to just be a ten year old boy, he really was just a ten year old boy, and this is exactly how ten year old boys feel when they've nowhere to turn, and no one to trust. Ten year old boys want their parents to protect them; they want hugs from their father, they want warm arms wrapped around them again. Sometimes they get tired of having to be strong. Natsume hadn't had any contact with his father in two and a half years, and in all that time to think Dad had never ever given up on him. He was aching inside in ways he couldn't explain, and wasn't even going to bother trying. He didn't care what anyone else thought. It might be stupid, but it was the only way, even if his Dad never knew, even as irrationally angry as Natsume often was at him, to say he still cared, to make a statement. As Natsume sat on that school roof, Lucas's steady hand on his shoulder, the wind breezing over him, he felt somewhat calmer to think _someone_ hadn't given up on him, even though they'd been given every reason to, even if it was just his Dad.

* * *

The wind rustled the leaves around him as Natsume stood on a thick bough high up on the sakura tree in front of the main school entrance, but unlike yesterday on the roof, there was no sense of peace, just aggravation. Yesterday, he'd felt somewhat content. He'd had a solid plan, worthy of the consequences. He'd sat on this same bough surveying the guards, and the walls, and trying to decide what to do, (and wondering in the back off his mind if he really should do it, given the potential risk to his sister), when Lucas had climbed up and sat beside him.

"Say, Natsume?"

"Hm, what is it?"

"How about we... run away?"

"What?!"

"Oh come on! It's written all over your face."

"What are you going on about?"

"I know you'll reply that you can't go, because of me, because of Aoi still being at the Academy, but what I see is different. I can see you're desperate to get away from this place, and escape the darkness that never seems to end. So, even if it's just for one day. Let's throw these chains off. Even if we do get punished, it would still be worth it, if I could just see you get your wish of seeing the light."

"Lucas…"

Natsume had looked at his friend moved, stunned, and speechless at his understanding. What could he say? Lucas didn't even seem to require words, he just smiled at him with gentle, sky-blue eyes twinkling with compassion. They'd started planning immediately. They were going to take a day for themselves.

Standing on that same branch now, those burgeoning hopes had hardened into spiteful purpose. The plan as it had stood was that Natsume would use his fire to blast a hole in the wall when Lucas gave the signal he was ready with his large mutant eagle friend, then Natsume would get out through the hole in the wall, and Lucas would follow with the eagle using his Animal Pheromone Alice to have it fly them off wherever: A simple, but good plan. They'd considered other possibilities, like Natsume stealing explosives for the Dangerous Ability students, so he wouldn't have to spend so much of his Alice on making the blast in the wall, but ultimately this was decided to be the best. Not only because fewer variables meant fewer things to go wrong, but because it said exactly what they wanted to say: They were only staying in this Academy to protect each other. They stayed here because they chose to, and the Academy didn't really own them; they could leave whenever they wanted. Their cooperation both forced and tenuous. Natsume had even written a letter to his father and was planning on dumping it into a mailbox somewhere outside when he got the chance. Even when the Academy personnel eventually caught up to him and Lucas, they'd never be able to check all the mailboxes in all of Tokyo. He'd just have to make sure it wasn't one that was close to the Academy and he'd be set.

That plan still hadn't changed. The problem was the bastard-teacher Narumi. Natsume had held disdain for Narumi from the moment he and Lucas had laid eyes on him back in their old village. Naru had struck a flirty, downright gay pose on the wall and told them all-him, Lucas, and Aoi-he was going to be their homeroom teacher at the Academy. Natsume had disliked him intensely then, if only for the arrogant presumption and condescension, but with the advantage of hindsight Natsume now loathed him, because Narumi must have known when he'd said those words the devastation the Academy had been planning, and he'd done nothing to stop it. Who knew how many people had died when they'd caused Aoi to lose control of her Alice and set the village alight? How many innocents had they murdered on their insane quest? Worse still was the sense of betrayed trust. Narumi had said he'd take care of his little sister, and sure he'd brought her to the hospital, only to deliver them and, worse, his sister into Persona's care. Natsume doubted he'd ever trust anyone, except Lucas, ever again.

Yes, Narumi pranced around wearing loud outfits, and dazzling people with his disgusting Alice, and his super-fake I'm-a-nice-guy peppiness, but he was one of the worst in this dunghill, and it was he, whom Natsume hated only less than he hated Persona and Kuonji, who had trapped Natsume in the corridor last night telling him he was being punished for being absent from class one too many times; it was he who had put this blasted Black Cat mask on him, while shaking one long index finger at him, seeming concerned, and disappointed, like Natsume was just a kindergartener throwing a tantrum who could do so much better if only he'd just apply himself. God, he hated the man. He was the biggest hypocrite in the entire goddamn school. Even so, it wasn't the damn cat mask he would have to wear all day, since Narumi was the only one who could take it off, it wasn't the massive headache he was going to get, and the extra damage he was going to do to his body as he bust through the Alice-restraint, nor how much harder that was going to make it to break out which that had him riled, not the only or most significant reason anyway, because if nothing else he was really making a statement of his power to every scoffer in the Academy when he pulled it off. No, it was the presence of Narumi, the man who'd put this mask on him in the first place, and made his life so difficult in general, outside of the school gates proving what a creep he was that was throwing Natsume's carefully planned escape off, and royally pissing him off too.

It was seriously aggravating, and probably proved that Natsume really was being set up that Naru was there in the first place, but that wasn't the main issue. He, and Lucas when he came, would be able to handle one teacher when it came right down to it, the biggest concern was that the pervert was, right now, probably using his Alice to manipulate a little girl, and Natsume couldn't ignore that. She looked about nine or ten, and wore her light brown hair in two long pigtails. In the five or ten minute time period he'd been watching them, the pedophile had dazzled her, held her hand, had her jumping up and down like a deranged person, share her food with him, but now was the limit, the perv was holding both her hands in his, and having her dance all around him; Natsume just couldn't ignore it anymore. He'd always suspected that Narumi, with his disgusting attitude, and even more disgusting Alice, might be touching children inappropriately, and Natsume simply couldn't wait and watch this anymore. Lucas would just have to catch up. He forced his Alice up, thrust it past the restraining mask, blew out the wall, determined the barrier was weakened, and leaped for the sidewalk below. It took all of five seconds,if that.

"Natsume! Desertion is not allowed!" Narumi roared, pulling something out of his pocket and swining it in Natsume's direction. "Let's just call this divine justice!" Always so melodramatic.

Some kind of organic whip sprang through the air from Narumi's direction and swatted him painfully across the cheek in mid-air. His black cat mask went flying. Well, at least that meant that he'd have an easier time using his Alice. He gritted his teeth in anticipation and pain as his body slammed into the ground forcefully. He'd probably hit hard enough to bruise bone.

"Oh, dear." Narumi said in a patronising tone, looking down at him with a hand on his hip and the strange whip he'd used to hit him slung over his shoulder. "I've a feeling I've despoiled his cute little face, but even so, I must say, I'm glad I borrowed this bean whip from Mr. Misaki. It comes quite in handy."

The pig-tailed girl he'd been victimising looked over at the blonde transvestite-esque teacher with horror. Utterly shell-shocked, she looked back and forth frantically between Natsume and Narumi quick enough to add whiplash to her immediate problems before she ran up to Natsume stammering,

"W-wait, are you okay?"

Natsume was uncertain whether to be touched by her concern or annoyed by her stupidity in running up to a boy who had just _blown up the wall of a school_ , not to mention it probably wasn't wise to do so when the man who had just _whipped_ said boy, and _harassed_ her, was standing _right there_. Speaking of which-Natsume tried to drag himself to his feet with his last bits of strength-they were not safe here with Narumi around. He ignored the girl entirely, (who was apparently too stupid to run away; he was strangely touched, but mostly just _extremely_ annoyed-get out of here, little girl! Do you think you're doing me any good?), as he struggled to push himself halfway up onto his knees with arms that felt like spaghetti, while ignoring his aching bones, his straining lungs, and the splitting headache he'd given himself, and wasted no time in attempting a fire in his palm. He'd barely gotten started when Narumi loped up and stamped down on his hand with a smirk on his face.

"Even if you try to use your Alice to escape, it'll be pointless."

Natsume glared up feeling totally humiliated. His left cheek was red where the whip had hit him, and there were scrapes on his forehead and chin. Everything stung. It was a struggle to keep his head up.

"Before you can use _your_ Alice, I'll just end up having you pay the price with _my_ Alice like before...but I'm a nice guy so I'm willing to let it go."

 _A nice guy?!_ Natsume grit his teeth so hard he thought he heard one of them crack.

"Pervert teacher!" He bit out, and Narumi wouldn't even tolerate that.

"It is an honour to accept your lovely praise," he said in a saccharine voice as he bent down and, with a paradoxical gentle-strength, dragged Natsume up by the collar, planting a large smack on his cheek.

Natsume's body reacted immediately. He could feel his heart race, his cheeks flush even redder than his eyes, and his every nerve sensitise to Narumi's presence. He felt hot, and cold, and flustered, and above all extraordinarily _aware_ of Narumi. That was the part he hated the most when this happened: The overpowering attraction to his teacher. It was so beyond words gross. Alien desire coursed through his too-young body affecting his ability to function on such an integral level he would soon pass out. Pheromonal Inclination was an Alice he thought ought to be made illegal. _I fucking hate you_ must have been his last coherent thought before he blacked out. Lust and love do not necessarily go hand in hand.

* * *

When Natsume came to, he was immediately aware that this was a) not his room, and b) not the hospital. It felt like he was lying on some kind of sofa. This was not the typical way of things, and that meant danger. His senses perked. Natsume heard nothing particularly useful, so he cracked open an eye, and sat up groggily. In front of him was the pig-tailed girl Narumi had been messing around with earlier. Her back was to him, and she seemed enraptured with some kind of book in her hands. It made no sense. He blinked twice in confusion. Narumi wouldn't have just left a dangerous lunatic like him alone in a room with a young girl. Well, then again, it was Narumi… and why hadn't he been brought to either his bedroom or a hospital room like usual? And what was the pigtailed girl doing here anyway? She wasn't an Alice-he'd never seen her around before, and they should be in the same class, or she might be in Youchi's, but he'd have seen her either way-and only Alices were allowed inside… Increasingly Natsume was coming to the dawning realisation that he might have been played. This girl was no victim now was she? She must be working with Narumi, and she must have a powerful Alice, or she wouldn't have ever been left alone with him, and she might just be some kind of spy, and this was probably a bigger set-up than he'd anticipated, and damn it, he was going to get answers! She _owed_ him.

Grabbing the girl by her left pigtail-she gasped in pain-he pulled her back and threw her down on the sofa. Maintaining his grip on her pigtail with his right hand, he positioned himself above her with a knee on her solar plexus, and his left hand over her throat to trap her completely. The girl stared up at him with wide brown eyes communicating terror so great she was unable to even scream.

"Answer within five seconds or I'll burn this hair of yours." He tugged at her pigtail. "Just what are you?!"

One, two, three, he counted up in his mind as the girl squirmed and cried out beneath him. On the third second there was a large shadow of an eagle at the window and someone came smashing through distracting both Natsume and the girl who looked over to see a blonde boy slumped under the window in an awkward landing.

"You're late, Lucas." Natsume looked over with a scowl seeming rather put out, but not more so than his friend who was surrounded by broken glass, and seemed to have hit his head on the window sill. Lucas was rubbing at the base of his skull looking extremely disenchanted.

"Honestly," he huffed, "whose fault do you think that is, Natsume?" He added an aside under his breath, "And I came here to rescue him…" Standing up slowly, and shaking glass shards off himself, Lucas noticed that Natsume was not alone. "What are you doing? Who's that?"

Natsume turned himself around to face his friend by switching his knee on the girl's stomach for his bottom, essentially sitting on her. When she tried to escape, he shoved his hand down on her head to keep her in place barely looking at her through the entire process.

"She was here when I woke up. All she does is bawl, and won't tell me the truth of who she is."

"Is she an Alice?"

"Maybe, I dunno." He shrugged. "At any rate," Natsume turned back to look at the struggling girl beneath him, "since she won't listen to what I say; I figured I'd make her cry." Looking down at the girl, he found severe disappointment-turned-rage rose up inside him, and mixed with self-loathing that he'd been had. Dreading the brutal punishment that was to come, Natsume found he knew _exactly_ how he wanted to go about making this girl suffer for it. It'd be so poetic, and _no one_ got away with defying him like that. Natsume didn't tolerate threats. She wanted to lie to him? Fine. Work with Narumi and make a fool out of him? Fine. Trick him? Fine. Have him humiliate himself? Fine. He'd return the favour twice over. He'd ruined his own escape today, because he'd thought he was helping her escape Narumi's attentions, but she'd been fooling around with him willingly, so he'd give her exactly what she deserved: An idea of what he thought he was saving her from. Glancing over at Lucas he said spitefully, "Let's at least take her panties off."

The young girl began to scream loudly for someone, anyone, to come help her, as she flailed around even harder, but Natsume just lifted up her skirt, requiring neither Lucas's permission nor support, and commented rather nastily as her underwear came into view,

"Oh, look! A world of polka dots is revealed!"

"By the way, Natsume, why don't you just spook her with your Alice?" Lucas commented awkwardly, and Natsume figured he must have been a bit uncomfortable with the situation, but he didn't know what Natsume had just been through and suffered on her account, so he didn't let it bother him.

"I'm tired and can't get in the zone." It was true. He'd tried earlier, but it hadn't worked. The backlash of busting through his Alice-restraints he supposed, but it wasn't going to stop him from living up to his word of punishing the girl if she didn't answer him. Natsume didn't make empty threats, and this was better than just hitting her or something. That seemed wrong, somehow. It might actually hurt her. Scaring a girl to make a point was one thing; hitting her, causing physical damage, seemed to be quite another.

Lucas nodded and went back to the windowsill to watch the proceedings. He made no further comment, and while he made no move to help Natsume in his endeavour with the struggling girl, neither did he try to stop it. His general attitude seemed to indicate that Natsume would have to do what he felt was necessary. In fact, Natsume was amused to note that Lucas was looking rather curiously at the girl's behind.

"I heard screaming from over there!"

Footsteps echoed in the hall and frantic voices could be heard.

"Oh, this isn't good." Natsume muttered, as Lucas said,

"People are coming!"

Natsume jumped off the sofa, and scrambled toward the window where Lucas was waiting. The door slammed open hard.

"Are you alright, Mikan?!"

Mikan, so that was her name, Natsume made a point of remembering it as the girl ran with tears streaming down her face into the arms of Narumi, rubbing salt into a wound as far as Natsume was concerned. Clearly no pheromones had been involved there.

"Natsume! Lucas!" Misaki shouted at them looking furious.

"I'm out." Lucas muttered looking beyond uncomfortable, as he jumped out the window, but Natsume turned back towards the girl and the teachers determined to get the last laugh.

"See ya, Polka Dot Panties." He tossed the article of underwear in question at her, and jumped out with vindictive satisfaction. Served them all right. Behind him, he could hear the girl wailing inconsolably.

The pair of them listened for a short moment, and Lucas seemed somewhat regretful. There was a pain in his eyes whose source Natsume couldn't quite identify, but ultimately Natsume couldn't bring himself to feel any remorse for what he'd done. He'd had to do it. He'd warned the girl, and she hadn't answered. That was that. He was hardly going to dwell on it, not after everything.

"We should probably get to class." Lucas pointed out. "After what just happened, we can't afford to ditch today."

"Agreed." Natsume nodded following after him. "Just a moment though."

He took the letter to his father out of his pocket and used his Alice to burn it watching the charred pieces sail away in the wind. What a waste. He didn't think he'd ever felt more bitter.


	2. Just What is This Girl?

A/N: I would just like to thank everyone who reviewed, favourited, and followed this story. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter.

 **Chapter 2: Just What is This Girl?**

The classroom was in complete chaos. Natsume might have hated it once, found the cacophony annoying; right now, the defiance and rebellion was a balm to his soul. There was smoke billowing around the room from Nonoko's experiments. Telekinetics were floating things around. People themselves were floating across the classroom. Others were munching, gossiping, fighting, sitting in their seats despondently, and there was a certain atmosphere of disillusionment. At least no one was trying to pretend to be happy here.

"No way! You blew up the school!"

Mind-Reader could always be depended on to ensure there were no secrets.

"No, idiot. If I blew up the school, you wouldn't be standing there so nonchalant. I blew out the wall."

"Still awesome!"

"So that's the explosion I heard. I wondered what Naru meant about desertion." The guy with the eavesdropping Alice commented. Natsume couldn't be bothered to learn his name. "Impressive."

"Of course it's impressive!" Shouda put in, ever a suck-up. "Natsume's always very impressive."

Soon everyone was muttering about how close he'd gotten to escaping. (He would have been able to escape if it hadn't been for that girl.) How impressive it was. (Too bad no one knew yet he'd done it with his restraining mask on.)

"He did it wearing his cat mask!"

Good ole Mind-Reader, he could always be counted on.

"And Lucas flew out on an eagle!"

"Cool!"

Natsume took in the adulation with stoic, ill-tempered grace, and went to sit down with Lucas at their usual desk in the back left corner of the classroom. He felt just a bit better now. There was no way this story wasn't getting around school. He'd at least sent one message loud and clear: He stayed in this Academy only because of Aoi, not even his restraining mask could keep him in here. Take that scoffers! He leaned back in his seat, put his feet up on the desk, and placed an open manga over his face—lest anyone start bugging him with unwanted questions—and made to take a nap. It was the best thing to do in class, and with all the Alice he'd used, he needed to recuperate. The attitude he took about it just ensured no one would believe he was feeling weak: He was cool, tough, the bad boy. Wasn't half of war just propaganda? What you make people believe? He would not be seen as vulnerable. He could not afford to be.

Natsume reasoned he must have been sleeping—sort of, more like resting his eyes in case some kind of punishment came—for about half an hour when he noticed a change in the classroom atmosphere with voices shouting...

"Don't go calling her our friend!"

"Who'd listen to you anyway?"

...and objects being thrown towards the front of the class. Probably just the sub being put in his place by the kids: Whatever.

"Nice to meet you."

"Oh! Nice to meet you too!"

Ah! A newbie then; the footsteps continued coming closer.

"Hi! I'll be sitting next to you. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance!"

 _Wait. What?_ First of all, who would _dare_ sit next to him? Second, who talked to him like that-like he wasn't a god or the ultimate evil-you know, polite chit chat? Who would have the nerve? And...that voice was… Natsume lifted his head, the manga sliding off his face as he looked over with exhausted eyes,

"Huh, you're polka-dot panties from before."

Called it. God, this was not happening.

"You pervert!"

No, that was Narumi, but whatever.

"You're that molester-boy from before!" The pig-tailed girl shrieked loudly, standing up in shock, hurrying away from him, and pointing a finger accusingly. Hell, she was loud. Time to put her in her place; take back control of the situation. With forced calmness, he sat up, placed his feet back on the ground, and looked disdainfully at her.

"What is this girl blabbing about? A molester is a moron who does it with a sleazy ulterior motive. That's why he's a 'molester.' With you as the victim would anyone even be able to generate such an ulterior motive, or even want to fuck you, idiot?"

Well, if that didn't put her in her place, and make his meaning quite plain of "You were asking for it." he didn't know what would. He looked over to Lucas whose rabbit handed him a cup of tea, and made a point not to look at the stupid girl-she was that far beneath him-as some of his faithful followers ran up.

"Is everything alright, Natsume?"

"Did that transfer student do something?"

The fawning might have bugged him, but right now it was perfect. If it wouldn't have ruined the vibe of offended nonchalance he had going, he would have looked over at the girl just to see the look on her face. She was messing in his territory now. He could hear her breathing heavily next to him. She was probably speechless: Excellent.

"You've got some nerve doing that to a girl."

Or not. Damn. He looked over at her as she continued on looking increasingly red in the face.

"You're an enemy of women! A barbarian! Apologise, _moron_!"

She did not just go there.

"How dare you just lounge back like that looking all high-and-mighty?"

The girl made to grab at him, but before Natsume could do anything further Lift-Up lifted her up with his Alice so she was floating up near the ceiling.

"Hey, Transfer Student! What are you taking that tone with Natsume?! Shame on you."

He swished her back and forth in the air; the substitute teacher fainted. Natsume couldn't be bothered to care, not about the teacher, or about the chaos surrounding them. What he did care about was what this girl-Mikan?-was doing here. Something about the whole thing was suspicious.

"St-stop it, please, everyone. What a thing to do to a poor, defenseless girl!"

The class representative hurried up looking terrified, but determined to do his duty. Natsume didn't dislike the guy, exactly, but the boy was an absolute twit who swallowed the rubbish the school fed him about the Academy, and it's so-called noble intent. There's no other way to be an honour student like that unless you're a brown-noser, or a gullible fool. Yuu Tobita was the latter. Natsume had no problem with it though, so long as Tobita stayed out of his business. He would have said as much, but Shouda beat him to it.

"Oh? There's nothing to stop." She stormed up with hands on her hips. "Right from the start, thinking she was an Alice, I've watched and kept my mouth shut, but then what? Wasn't this girl just bad-mouthing things about Natsume and Lucas?"

Yes, and while that alone might be reason enough for the state of affairs, Natsume was far more concerned with the implications of the girl's mere presence: No one just walks up to the gates of the Academy, gets picked up by Narumi, left alone in a room with Natsume Hyuuga, gets admitted to the Academy, and then shows no indication of any kind of gift, and all of this happens on the day he plans to escape? It smacked of conspiracy. He didn't know what she was, possibly a spy, or a test, but he was going to get to the bottom of it.

"This is almost too kind, right, Natsume?"

Shouda glanced over, and Natsume immediately looked away. He hated fan-girls, and would do nothing to encourage her.

"Let her down."

"Yes, Natsume."

"I think kindness like that just adds to his charm." Shouda crooned, clasping her hands together. Honestly…

"Mikan, are you okay?" The class rep ran up to Mikan who was kneeling on the floor hyperventilating. She didn't reply. Good, maybe she'd have the sense to answer his questions now she'd been properly scared.

"Hey, Polka Dots. What sort of Alice do you have?"

He glared down at her, and she stuck her tongue out at him: Not scared enough then. He snapped his fingers, and Lift-Up had her in the air once more where she screamed and flailed around like it could get her down. She was such an idiot. What did she gain from defying him? Unless she was a trap set by Persona or the Elementary School Principal for him, in which case he'd better get to the bottom of this quick, she had no reason to hide anything.

"Come to mention it, I wonder what Alice I actually have?" It was Mind-Reader's happy voice, but Natsume knew his words were Mikan's thoughts. He and Mind-Reader had an understanding of sorts. They weren't exactly friends, but they weren't not friends either. They got each other. Mind-Reader couldn't help but know the truth of Natsume, but he never dared tell, and sometimes even helped him out of a situation or two; in return, Natsume offered him a protection of sorts. It was a happy truce built on mutual respect. Mind-Reader had probably picked up on the situation, and was offering a helping hand, (or he just wanted to laugh in the midst of chaos; it could be hard to tell with him). _Thanks_ , he spoke in his mind.

"The teacher was kind enough to say I was an Alice, but there's really been absolutely no sign of it. Am I really an Alice?"

"I don't believe it!" Shouda shouted looking like she'd been slapped, and Lift-Up dropped Mikan back down onto the floor in surprise. "That girl doesn't know her own Alice either! What's a girl like her doing in this Academy? It's absurd. I've never even heard the like. I don't suppose she pretended she had an Alice and slipped in: The nerve!"

"Don't say stuff like that. Mr. Narumi said I was an Alice."

"Really, if that's true, show me some proof. You were doubting yourself earlier."

"But…" Mikan looked utterly confounded, and Shouda was merciless.

"Come on. Hurry up."

Mikan was silent on the floor where she still kneeled seeming a bit dazed, and everyone in the class circled around her like vultures to see what she would do. Natsume was no exception as he watched her from his seat. What was this girl? How and why would she be here without knowing her Alice? Unless Mind-Reader was lying or wrong, but he doubted it...He looked at her face carefully, but all he could see were wide brown eyes, an obstinate expression, and the general impression of someone who'd been backed up against a wall feeling lost and desperate. He got the sense she wasn't the type to back down when cornered either, just the type to fight all the more for it, as would a cornered rat. She looked up with fire in her eyes that might have matched his, except it burned hot not cold.

"Right from the start, what's with you going on about Alices? Are Alices really all that…"

"We are great!" Shouda interrupted. "You see, we Alices are recognised and protected by the government for being a special elite, but since you don't seem to know anything I'll explain it to you. Based upon which areas their individual abilities are demonstrated, Alices have achieved great strides in politics, art, academics, and other various fields. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that almost all of our country's specialists are made up of Alices. As for those people who aren't Alices, they're either parasites who flock to Alices and reap the benefits, or worker ants whose only purpose is to wait on us hand and foot. If I'm being blunt, it's just their role to prop us up. We are the chosen ones. See, compared to the disposable, innumerably replaceable general public, we are a different class of people."

There was absolute silence in response to Shouda's speech. Actually, even Natsume was a bit shocked. Not so much at Shouda's attitude, she'd always been a bit up herself, but this was bold even for her. More than that, it was impressive how someone could get everything so right and so wrong all in one fell swoop. Certainly, Alices did make up most top government specialists, and were responsible for a lot of the greatest achievements of mankind; certainly to whom much is given, much is expected and all that, but that sentiment came with the concept of service, not being served. Personally, Natsume wished sometimes he had never been born with an Alice, let alone one that was slowly killing him. He wondered what Shouda would think of that?

All that aside, Alices were recognised and protected by the government not simply because they were 'special elites' whose remarkable talents were an asset; sure a lot of them were, but there were also downright useless Alices like the ability to make it rain confetti: Congratulations, enjoy your life as an uber-special party planner! So, no, that wasn't all it was; they were also there to protect ordinary citizens from people who couldn't control their power. An explosive Alice in flux was a danger to himself and everyone in the general vicinity. On the flip side, Alices also needed protection from those who feared them. The situation was so much more complex than, "We're awesome and we're here because we enjoy special privileges, and you should all bow down before us." Natsume could still remember the feeling of confused rejection when his kindergarten teacher had called his father asking he be pulled out of class, not because he'd been a bad boy, in fact he'd been a very good one, but because the other children were afraid of his red-eyes. It wasn't a reaction limited to non-Alices either, he'd been treated just as poorly here amongst his so-called "equals." It was called human nature. People condemn those who are different; they fear the unknown, and hate them for it. So you get idiots like Shouda, from a long lineage of Alices, who've deluded themselves that they're above everyone, because all they've ever been exposed to are bigots who've only ever moved in the same narrow circles when really the reason the Academy existed was far more nuanced than that. He supposed it was easier to justs believe that you were better than everyone else. The happy delusion was also advantageous to dickheads like Kuonji who could use 'gifted' children to his advantage. Remove them from all their support groups, besides the corrupted Alices in charge of them, then spoon feed them propaganda. Smart, isn't it? People who think they're all that, don't tend to care about what's going on around them. Create a toxic environment and make them love it, because they're the uber-elite. Why not? Give up your children; it's only because they're 'the chosen ones." Yeah, right, but 'divide and conquer', and 'the common enemy,' 'us v. them,' were classics for a reason.

His mother had had strong opinions on the Academy's isolationism, apparently. A controversial freelance journalist, she'd written several op-eds discussing how isolating Alices so thoroughly, and from such young ages, diminished their ability to understand what the average citizen needed. It reduced empathy because they experience nothing but life wrapped in a bubble. She did believe the Academy was a necessary institution to train Alices, unlike other people in more extreme Anti-Academy movements, but more transparency was required. The extreme isolationism, where even parents weren't allowed to see their own children, and families were torn apart, simply had to be stopped. His mother had also had the ulterior motive of trying to get people to look closer into the policies of the Academy to put pressure on the elementary school principal. He needed to be taken down; it went without saying. She'd written several rather sly articles about him too, and she'd been killed for her efforts. Natsume didn't even really remember her; he'd been so young, but he knew he was given the toughest missions, not only because of his talent, but also as a warning to anyone else who would dare speak out against Kuonji and the Academy: Look what might happen to your children… You only get killed if you're a threat though, so Natsume wondered how Mikan would react to Shouda's claim. Provided she was sent here by Persona or Kuonji, her reaction would say a lot. Would she agree with Shouda? Divert the question? Disagree? The latter seemed unlikely, the bullshit propaganda Shouda was spewing worked to the elementary principal's advantage. So long as you can convince people that being here is the best thing for them, and appeal to their ego, because they're a "special elite..." well…

He looked at Mikan who had turned her back on Shouda, but remained kneeling on the floor looking downright dejected. Her shoulders were slumped and even her long pig-tails seemed lank, somehow. She was staring off into space away from Shouda, and looked like she didn't care what was going on around her. He was surprised she hadn't retorted yet. She never seemed stuck for a word. Maybe she was struggling to find the right reply given the situation.

"If you can't even show us proof, obviously we're not going to accept you as an Alice. Hurry up and leave this Academy, shameless."

Natsume cocked his head, waiting on tenterhooks for her response, and exhibiting far more interest than he had wanted to show.

"Hey, are you listening?"

"No! Absolutely not!"

"Huh?

"I am an Alice! Mr. Narumi has told me exactly that."

"So?"

"I trust the teacher; I'm sure there's no mistake."

"What are you doing saying things of your own accord with no basis-"

"But I don't believe Alices are superior to those that aren't! If you guys do have something that's superior to other people," She finally looked over her shoulder at Shouda with an ugly expression on her face, "it's those rotten personalities, jerks! Incidentally, go get those _inferior_ brains replaced somewhere!"

You could have knocked Natsume over with a feather. Beside him Lucas looked equally shocked and even impressed. It made sense, Natsume figured, Lucas had been their village's little darling for his Alice, and his father's side of the family were all normal, Alice-less, human-beings of whom Lucas had been the beloved baby. It was natural Lucas would chafe under the, dare-he-say, eugenicist beliefs he'd encountered at the Academy that he was somehow better than they. Even without the childhood influence, Natsume didn't think that Lucas, with his gentle strength, and overwhelming compassion, was capable of truly hating or feeling superior to anybody.

As for the implications of Mikan's words, unless the principal was trying to see where everyone stood, the idea that she was his spy or a test seemed to be quickly losing traction. As the cat-fight continued, and really how stupid could you be to alienate the entire class by calling them all jerks with rotten personalities? Natsume couldn't comprehend. Standing by your principles was all well and good, but more and more people were ganging up on her now, and it was bound to get physical. She was certainly gutsy to create a situation like that on her first day at a new and very different school. He'd give her that, but whatever she was, things still didn't add up. It made him uneasy. He waved Mind-Reader over.

"What's her deal? How can she be here knowing next to nothing? Why's she here? What's her Alice?"

Mind-Reader scratched his head and concentrated hard for a second muttering, "It's a bit hard to read her; must be the Kansai dialect," before he quickly filled them in. "She came here to see her best-friend, Imai."

"Wait, Imai?" Natsume interrupted. "Seriously?" Imai was the most distant, cold, and reserved person Natsume had ever met. Although, come to think of it, he had heard she'd been severely homesick and had suffered from depression when she arrived. That's why she'd built her scooter, apparently. She'd been so low she hadn't felt able to walk to class on time. Perhaps this Mikan was the reason why. Lucas seemed to be following a different train of thought entirely as he said quietly, almost reverently,

"She came for her friend."

 _Oh._

Mind-Reader looked amused, and raised his eyebrows. "Anyone can have friends, Natsume." He looked over at Lucas and Natsume got the implication immediately. _Yeah, yeah, point taken._ He supposed Lucas sympathised with the girl now, but he still thought the whole thing was fishy. _Get on with it, Mind-Reader._

"She was worried because she hadn't received any letters from Imai besides a postcard, and had heard bad things about the Academy, so she came to check up on her. She refused to leave until she'd spoken to her, no matter what school policy said, and was willing to do whatever it took. After talking to Narumi, he said he thought she was probably an Alice so could just enroll herself. I don't know what kind; he was about to tell her when you blew out the wall, and she didn't hear anymore after that. Naru just told her she was on provisional enrollment, and she had to make friends with everyone in the class in order to get accepted."

 _A provisional enrollment? What the heck? Either you're an Alice or you aren't_

"Maybe it was some kind of persuasion Alice? That's why Narumi took to her, and why she was told to make friends?" Lucas suggested, but Natsume shook his head.

"Can't be. If that's the case, she's terrible at it." He looked back towards the chaos in the middle of the classroom where Mikan was now lying on the floor with a large boy on top of her threatening to punch her face in and telling her to go die.

"Hey, someone help us out! Use your Alice to up and throw her out the window!" Shouda shouted.

The boy on top of Mikan raised his fist to punch her face in and Hotaru Imai, almost quicker than could be seen, moved to stand over her friend. She punched the boy using a glove with a horseshoe attached at the end. The boy went flying. That cheek was bound to bruise. Mikan sat up quickly as Imai continued to stand guard over her.

"I'm sorry," Imai said blandly, "but the only person allowed to make this dummy cry is me. Don't touch her without permission."

"You bitch," wailed the boy she'd hit, but no one dared make a move against her beyond the verbal, if even that. Imai had a fearsome reputation. Even Natsume, reluctantly, granted her respect. When Imai had come to the Academy a few months ago, she'd kept to herself, and certainly made no friends. He'd been told—he didn't know for sure, he'd been on a mission and wound up in the hospital—on her first day at the Academy she'd worn a mask, and had later declared it was because she didn't want to "contract stupidity," which clearly was contagious here. (Natsume would rather die than admit when he'd heard it, he'd been amused. You tell 'em!) The next day she had shown up wearing her "eggshell helmet" declaring that it protected her head, keeping her safe and relaxed, as an egg would protect a baby chick….and also that it would protect her from "idiot germs." She had resisted any and all efforts to integrate. When two of his followers, or perhaps sycophants was a better word, had told her not to go getting big-headed-she hadn't even greeted Natsume yet-she'd gotten snarky. Come to think of it, if she hadn't had the good sense to run, she'd probably have ended up on the floor with people ready to punch her face in too… Huh.

Natsume couldn't say he'd cared one way or another if Imai ignored him. He'd just as soon nobody greet him. It meant he wouldn't have to deal with them. Regardless, the next day Hotaru had shown up prepared for war with her "Dum-Dum gun," and "Dum-Dum cannon," an air-gun, and mini air-cannon which fit like a glove over her hand, which she fired at anyone who dared try and lay a hand on her. It obnoxiously made the sound "dum-dum" in lieu of "bang, bang," lest anyone miss her point. She'd gotten into so many altercations with his, self-proclaimed, fans and supporters she'd even been disciplined by Jinno with his lightening Alice. This was when Natsume'd first properly laid eyes on her.

"Natsume, that's her! Not only did she defy us, she attacked us with weird weapons."

He had glanced over at her, and stared her down. His head had been throbbing, his chest had ached, and he'd been dead beat from Alice overuse. On top of all that, he'd been annoyed he was even being dragged into any of this, annoyed he had to deal with this shit after almost fucking dying. When he'd first come to the Academy, people had been either intimidated by his reputation as a notorious arsonist, or enthralled and inspired by his rebellious spirit and hatred of the Academy. After he'd convinced the worst of the bullies in his class to back off and just generally "don't mess with me," every two-bit bully and thug in Class B had decided to make themselves a part of his 'gang' just to coast the advantages of saying they were in his clique. If you can't beat him, join him, he supposed. Natsume had been the uncrowned king of Class B ever since. It hadn't taken much work, and there were many advantages. He could have people do things for him when he was too sick to do it himself, and they wouldn't dare say no, because you don't mess with someone who's that infamous. In other words, he could give off a sense of dominance when really he was feeling exceptionally weak. More importantly, it meant people avoided him, so he didn't have to worry about complicated friendships; the people who did hang around with him just wanted the dubious prestige of hanging around with such a bad-ass. He was left well enough alone. Moments like this though were just so aggravating, and provided a massive downside, because he was _supposed_ to put this girl in her place; he had a reputation to maintain, and he really couldn't be bothered right now. He wanted to be _left alone_. Damn it, he was exhausted. Between every throb of his head, he'd been so ticked off at the situation he'd wanted to just tell everyone to fuck off, but ultimately he wasn't going to be called _weak_ , or let people think he was _soft_ ; he couldn't risk it, so he'd stared down murderously at Imai contemplating how to handle this fool-he'd probably just burn her skirt a bit and go find somewhere to lie down-when she'd turned and run. Sensible girl, he'd thought with satisfaction.

Not more than a week or two later though, Imai had proven she was far more than "sensible", she possessed a downright cunning intelligence. She'd invented surveillance devices and had taken candid shots of Lucas and Natsume which she'd passed out and sold to members of his fan club. In doing so, she'd endeared herself to them, and convinced everyone she wasn't actually disrespecting Natsume and his friend. No one knew she kept the most embarrassing pictures for herself and wasn't above using blackmail to keep herself safe in a very hostile environment. She had spunk, and grit. He'd been grudgingly impressed. She and Natsume had avoided each other with an uneasy truce ever since, as she continued to work the system, and not just his either, but the Academy's too. Ironically, he did admire her for seeing straight through their bullshit, and using the vast resources offered to her advantage, rather than the other way around. He could respect her for that. She found a way to stand. She was no fool, and with her stern disposition, Imai didn't suffer fools gladly, not at all, which spoke well of Mikan, but also made Natsume extremely uncomfortable. The idea of having those two in cahoots made his hair stand on end-especially when he didn't know what kind of Alice the new girl might have…

"Natsume! Lucas! I can't take more of this." Shouda had turned towards them in desperation huffing and puffing. "Please, do something!" She gestured towards where Mikan and Imai were embracing like long-lost lovers, or rather Mikan was hugging Imai like there was no tomorrow, and Imai was tolerating it. Given her aversion to people in general, it probably said more than all of Mikan's hugging.

"Hey, Polka Dots! I've heard if you can't get on friendly terms with this class, you won't be able to enroll properly."

"How-?!' She started off and faltered as she made eye-contact with Mind-Reader who waved at her.

"Well, as things stand now, I can say enrollment for you is certainly impossible."

Shouda chuckled cruelly in the background. Mikan looked despondent.

"But, it's not like we won't even give you a chance..."

"What?! Natsume!"

"...that's provided you really are an Alice though."

Natsume jerked his head towards the left window of the classroom.

"You see the 'Northern Woods' over there?"

He looked over at her again to make sure she was listening. She was. In fact, he had a captive audience. The entire classroom was listening in.

"If you can get through there, go to the high school section without incident, and leave a footprint there, I will humbly acknowledge your ability and receive you as an Alice."

There was pandemonium.

"No way!"

"Will she accept?"

"Oh, this is going to be good."

"The Northern Woods?"

"Oh my…"

Loudest of all were Shouda, and the Class Rep.

"Oooh, I see. The Northern Woods! Ha. Ha. As expected of Natsume."

"That's unreasonable! Those woods are made forbidden for even children with Alices to enter!"

"Well," some kids spook at the idea of going into the forest. Oooh how scary. Natsume'd been shot, watched people die in front of him, cleaned blood-his own, his comrades, his enemies-off his shirt and hands, (it never seemed to come off his hands), but some people can't handle a shitty forest: Well, boo hoo. He took a carrot from Lucas and focussed on feeding it to his friend's rabbit to stop himself from doing or saying anything stupid. "No one's ever really said it couldn't be done. If you don't like it, then you can just get out of here quietly." He breathed evenly. Now he was calmer, the anger simmering just below boiling point, he turned his head around and looked Mikan, the polka dot panties, straight in the eye. "You gonna do it?"

"I will." She held his gaze with steely determination, few people could do that, and Natsume found himself grudgingly impressed by her tenacity. Maybe he'd misjudged her; there might be something fishy to her presence here, but that could all be Narumi's idiotic games. He was fond of screwing with people's heads, and she really didn't seem to know anything.

"Since you're an unfamiliar newcomer, I'll make an exception and let you take a friend with you for directions." There, wasn't he nice? Well, that, and the sooner she got to those woods, and the stressful environment, the sooner whatever Alice she did have was likely to manifest. He'd rather know sooner than later. He didn't need her floundering around and getting concerned members of the staff and student body involved. This needed to be a quick and clean operation. Let it never be said that Natsume Hyuuga was ever unselfish.

Mikan turned to her best friend who said dryly and with the straightest of faces, "So, Mikan...going to that forest is really dreadful. Still, I'm sure it won't be anything you can't handle, probably." She handed her friend some animal crackers, "Oh, this is a farewell gift." and dashed away.

"Wait, Hotaru!"

"I-I'll go!" The class rep stammered, blushing. Oh, he totally had a crush on new-girl. Natsume almost snorted. "As the class representative, I can't allow a pretty girl to go into such woods alone." God, he couldn't take this.

"Well then, the game we negotiated and established starts now!" With that Mikan grabbed Hotaru's hand, and Tobita accompanied them out the classroom. They simply had to wait and let events unfold. He hated waiting.

"Natsume, did something happen with that polka dots girl which concerns you? To bother doing all this…"

Natsume shook his head almost imperceptibly. "Not really." He wasn't surprised at Lucas's question though. Normally, he wouldn't give a rip. Didn't waste his energy on useless external things. This was different though… He didn't feel safe. What could she possibly have done to convince Narumi so quickly she was an Alice? What was going on here? There didn't seem to be anything particularly special about her, aside from being especially bold…

"Hey, Lucas," Mind-Reader approached the duo and whispered. "Sumire, is planning on asking you to play supermodel with her. Just thought you should know." He winked at them and scurried away.

"Wait," Natsume called out to him, as Lucas sneakily left the room before Shouda could get her claws in him. "When you read the new-girl's mind, did you get anything on how her meeting with Naru went?"

"A bit. There wasn't anything special. I suppose he did save her from being kidnapped-"

"Kidnapped?"

"Yeah, some guys out front tried to sweet-talk her into going with them, probably thought she was a lost Alice, or a relation of an Alice, to be hanging around the area like that. They said they wanted ransom money when Naru used his pheromones to interrogate them. Anyway, he sent them away, so I guess that's why Mikan trusts him so much, then he told Mikan to go, but she refused until she'd seen Hotaru."

She _refused_. That sounded familiar. "Didn't he use his pheromones?"

"I dunno. Haven't read his mind to know. He probably would have, but maybe he didn't, or maybe she was just so determined to see Imai not even the power of Naru's pheromones would stop her. Who's to say?"

Hmm, yeah right. Even he couldn't resist and no one was more stubborn than he, and no one hated Narumi more either. She, on the other hand, actually seemed to _trust_ the bastard. He pulled out a magazine and tried to read. This speculation was just making his headache worse.

"I'm going looking for Lucas." Shouda announced imperiously, and Natsume wished his best-friend godspeed.

* * *

Twenty minutes or so must have passed when Natsume began to worry. Shouda was back, but Lucas was nowhere to be seen, and he didn't want his friend in more trouble than he was liable to get in for today.

"Hey," he asked a couple of the boys around him, not looking up from his magazine. No need to actually seem concerned. "Where's Lucas?"

"Um, well, who knows?" Lift-Up offered tentatively and uselessly.

"Oh! I saw him just a second ago. He seemed like he was headed towards the Northern Woods in rather a hurry."

What? Natsume lifted his head in shock. "Get me the situation in the North Woods." He ordered, and Lift-Up, who was basically his lieutenant at this point, immediately obeyed. Around him the class continued on oblivious.

"Hey, hey do you think that transfer student will be able to conquer the North Woods?"

"Ah, it's way impossible; I bet 500 yen by the time she gets to Bear she's out."

"I wonder if that's true? She might have an unexpectedly amazing Alice. I don't care as long as she doesn't get hurt though...I'm a bit worried."

"What are you even saying?! Because there's obviously no chance a girl like that is an Alice. Don't let her fool you with her lies. I feel quite good; she's surely been exposed as a fool by now. Right, Natsume?"

"You're loudmouths, all of you!" Worry over Lucas made Natsume's voice sound even colder and deeper than normal. "Don't you at least know this isn't the sort of wishy-washy place just anybody can casually get in to?"

Silence reigned. These imbeciles were completely brainless. They wouldn't last a day in the field. Did no one see something odd was going on here?

"That's-that's right! I was just thinking that, Natsume." Shouda said with enough sugar to make you sick. He ignored her blatant lying.

Despite what he'd told Lucas about not being able to "get in the zone", he could have sworn he'd used his Alice on Polka Dots when she'd refused to answer him, but it hadn't worked. Nothing had happened. That's why he'd said, "not really," rather than an outright "no" to Lucas's question, because what if there was something about that…? Maybe Narumi's pheromones hadn't worked either? What was this girl?

"Natsume!" Lift-Up threw the classroom door open and came running back in. "The guy who scanned through the forest awhile ago was saying that, well, it seems Lucas has been captured by those three!"

Natsume froze and everything went blank and clear, like it was happening in slow motion. "Captured?"

"Yes, he was all tied up and everything."

"Lucas was tied up?" He confirmed feeling numb.

"That's right. That bastard, Tobita, used his illusions…"

"Yes," a boy with the clairvoyance Alice confirmed. "Lucas was tricked somehow. It seemed he was quite angry about it, and he was hit by that Mikan girl."

"How awful." Shouda shouted. "It makes me feel sick. She must have thought she'd lose the challenge and used underhanded tricks to make him her hostage."

The numbness in Natsume disappeared, like it had been pushed of a cliff, and was replaced with a blinding, flailing panic as his mind whirred frantically putting the pieces together. How could he be so stupid? No one just walks up to the Academy and gets in… but she was Imai's best friend: Imai who was fond of working the system; Imai whose brother was the vice student council president, and was in the elementary principal's pocket; Naru who was just the facilitator. What were they going to do to him!? ...Or he could be blowing things out of proportion and those imbeciles might have been stupid enough to take Lucas of their own accord. Even with that though, who knew what might happen to him out there? What they might do to him tied up, trapped, defenceless? What might happen while he's trapped in dangerous woods? He could hear his sister screaming for him in his ears with a roaring which drowned out all other sound; his vision went red. Either way they were dead, so very, very dead. No one, bar no one, laid a hand on Lucas and got away with it. Natsume had lost his mother, father, sister, his childhood; his best friend was non-negotiable. Icy fear gripped his heart, and when he spoke it was only ice. Threats were to be eliminated quickly.

"What's their current position?"

"Huh? Oh, yes!" The clairvoyant spoke frantically. _Get on with it, moron._

Around him Natsume could hear the typical murmurs about him.

"Aren't those guys, idiots? Of all the means, to use _Lucas_ as a hostage."

 _Yes, very stupid._

"The colour of Natsume's eyes have changed…"

 _Like a wild animal uncaged, perhaps?_

"Oh, if things continue like this, won't that transfer student find herself in very dangerous spot."

 _Beyond dangerous…_

"They're still on the path in the Northern Woods, they're about a couple kilometers in."

Natsume shot out the door like Hell itself was chasing after him. Maybe it was. If anything happened to Lucas, if he didn't get there soon enough, he'd have entered a deeper circle of it. He didn't stop for anything, not to take the inhaler in his pocket for his chronic bronchitis, not to cough up more blood which he just spat out. He ignored the pounding in his head made worse by his too-rapid heartbeat. He ignored the bruising on his left leg from where he'd landed in front of the school gates. He ignored the stitch in his side. He ran. He could never remember running this fast. He could never remember being this panicked, not even when he was eight, still new to his missions, and Hiro had died in front of him, slumped over, staining thick blood down Natsume's shirt-

They were all standing, Lucas included, on the path in front of him. Natsume stopped abruptly and outstretched his left arm to a tree to steady himself. He felt something unclench slightly. He felt rather dizzy. He made sure not to let on. He tried not to even breathe too loudly.

"Natsume, why are you here?"

He couldn't have said who asked it.

"Lucas, we're going."

"Huh?" Lucas said intelligently.

"She's disqualified. Hurry up and get out of here!" He ordered Mikan, not even looking at her, not taking his eyes off his friend.

"Just a-" She started to protest, and Natsume grabbed her by the bangs and pinned her back against the nearest tree. How _dare_ she?

"Ignoring the rules I created, and on top of that using Lucas, don't go playing dumb!"

How dare she protest? When she was the one who had gone behind his back, when she was the one who had interfered in his plans, when she was the one who refused to cooperate, when he had, even then, offered her a chance, just fucking now, to back out without further penalty: How dare she? He'd given her far too many chances and suffered for it. He had been being _nice_ , before. If she didn't want that then fine! She was in for a treat.

"Natsume, stop! I'm absolutely fine." Lucas cried out.

Natsume looked over his shoulder at him.

"Weren't you the one saying this game was intended to discover what her Alice is?" Lucas queried frantically.

So...did that mean she knew what her Alice was now…? He hesitated just a slight second; only Lucas could have such influence on him, and looked back hatefully at the girl who was frozen in terror: Too late. If she knew, she'd tell him. If she didn't know, he'd find out. He was getting to the bottom of all of this.

"Lucas, I don't offer mercy to my enemies, or people who go against me. The one who ended the game using dirty-tricks was her. I intend to use whatever means necessary to determine the truth."

"Oh!" Exclaimed Imai; he chanced a glance at her, and she threw down some kind of smoke bomb. Natsume coughed wildly, and let go of Mikan. Through watery eyes he saw Tobita run up to her shouting her name. Fool, why announce your position? He trapped the boy in a ring of fire.

"Class Rep," Mikan screamed, and Natsume stood back on his feet holding a flame in his hand.

"I told you I'll use whatever means necessary. Hurry up and spit it out. What's your Alice?!"

"Stop the fire!" Oh, yeah, he's definitely going to listen to that. She looked around frantically for something to help. "Hotaru, do you have a fire extinguisher or something?"

"It won't work. His fire won't be put out like that."

"Natsume, stop!" Lucas looked shocked.

"All she has to do is show me her ability." He kept staring at Mikan. "You should hurry up, or Class Rep'll die."

"If I had such a power...If I could show it, I would have. I beg you, please, stop."

Natsume lit a flame in his other palm, and Imai was wrapped in a circle of flame. He felt the familiar pressure on his chest as he used his Alice.

"Hotaru!"

"The words of someone Naru dragged in here stink of lies; how could I believe you? If you refuse to reveal your true nature, shall I simply bring someone else in?"

There was more to this girl than met the eye. He knew it. He just knew it.

"Stop it! Other people have nothing to do with this! STOP THE FIRE!"

"No, Bunny!" Lucas called. Bunny? What the hell? Natsume shot a look over his shoulder and saw Lucas running into the woods chasing after his rabbit which had a singed tale. Mikan capitalised on his moment of distraction to grab his shoulder as she drew back an arm to punch him.

"Stop the fire, moron!" She yelled, but Natsume barely heard it. Instead where her hand grabbed him, he felt hands of many shapes and sizes trying to pin him down. Bullets whizzed through the air. Superimposed over Mikan, he saw Persona, and various other men's faces, glaring down at him making him feel small. Everything blurred one over the other, and on pure instinct, he took the fires in his hands and forced them into a massive stream he hurled in Mikan's direction. Only after he'd released his Alice did he realise what he'd just done: Possibly charred, maybe to death, a young girl. Oh, no, no, no, no! He hadn't meant to. It had been a reflex borne of so many missions. He really _hadn't_ meant to. He started to feel a crushing sense of guilt, and overwhelming dismay, as he made to redirect the course of his flame, but a blast of...something...came from Mikan as she crossed her arms to guard her face from the incoming fire. It spread out from her like a soundless shockwave, and Natsume's flames were all extinguished: Not merely the ones he'd sent her way, but the one's he'd placed around her friends too. Mikan collapsed back on the ground.

"What…" Lucas stammered. "Just now, didn't Natsume use a strong Alice…?"

Natsume didn't answer. He'd fallen to the ground as well. His jaw was hanging open; he was shocked, and confused, and relieved not to have killed the girl, but also bewildered he hadn't. What just happened? Someone grabbed his shoulders from behind, and as he reached for his Alice again, the individual pulled him back so he found his red eyes meeting Narumi's green: Oh, crap. They were the last thing he saw before Naru placed a smooch on his forehead. Natsume gasped in pleasure. Heat coursed through his veins. He could even feel himself getting an erection before he passed out. Fuck his life.

The moment Natsume came to again he blasted out with his Alice deep into the earth to make sure noone was touching him inappropriately. Such was the intensity of the heat the ground beneath him was blasted up in a massive explosion. Rocks and dirt went flying everywhere, one even nicking Narumi's cheek and causing it to bleed. Vengeance for the whip mark on his own cheek, as far as Natsume was concerned.

"Naru!" He spat. "You bastard; I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"Yup, it's as I thought. I figured you would probably be really angry. Everyone ended up seeing that. It's quite embarrassing, isn't it?"

Narumi stood in front of him lazily, with a patronizing smile on his face. His long blonde hair gently falling into his face, blowing softly in the wind; his green eyes shining, even the blood on his cheek seemed to give him the beauty of a dashing knight back from war and-

"Shut up!" Natsume snarled, as much as he could, clearly the pheromones were still having an effect. The beauty of a dashing knight? Lucas tried to help him to his feet. Natsume was touched to see that he'd stayed by his side protecting him while he was unconscious. A siren went off in the distance: Shit.

"Oh, dear. The siren's gone off." Narumi clapped a hand to his face where he was bleeding when Mikan pointed it out to him. "Well then, this time around I won't be able to shield you, Natsume. You've given us quite the explosion." Natsume remained unwilling to take hostile eyes off him, as Narumi took a handkerchief from his pocket and started wiping the blood of his face. "Wouldn't it be better if you ran away quick? Because if you don't, I think that guy you dislike will be coming in this direction as soon as possible only to find you waiting."

Persona, damn, Natsume hated admitting Naru was right. His entire body shook as he finally got up properly, and sweat was dripping down his face, but Natsume grit his teeth, turned, and ran. He hated himself intensely for doing it. He clutched a fist to his chest in an endeavour to ease his pain. It felt like a knife was being stabbed through his sternum. Every breath strained.

"Natsume!" Lucas called out after him and Natsume stopped to let him catch up. Turning around he looked back at the girl who had become such a thorn in his side.

"Yo, Polka Dots, you're going to really regret coming here of your own free will, you carefree fool." He certainly did, although whether he had much of a choice in coming was extremely questionable. Showing her the thumbs down sign he turned away. "Let's go, Lucas." They jogged into the woods, and faintly in the background heard someone scream,

"If only you weren't here, who would regret anything?"

Wait and find out. If she ended up happy here, he was going to be really pissed off. "So, her Alice, it had something to do with stopping other people's Alices then?" Natsume asked Lucas as they stopped in a clearing. Natsume took his inhaler from his pocket at took three quick puffs. As he caught his breath, he tried to think how best to avoid being captured by Persona.

"Yeah, it's called a Nullification Alice. That's why he let her in on trial, I suppose… because the only way to really be sure if she was an Alice was to mix her with other Alices and see how it went."

"Right." Natsume leaned his hands on his knees as he bent over in pain. How was he going to do this?

"Natsume, we really need to talk about what happened back there, and about earlier this morning."

"Not now Lucas. I really need to get moving."

A sigh. "Is there anyway I can help?"

"Yeah, go back, and don't get caught."

"Maybe I could have some animals run interference?"

Natsume stood up and shook his head. "No, it's Persona. You know what his Alice is. He'll just kill them."

Lucas looked reluctant and uneasy, but he understood the situation and left. Natsume straightened his shoulders thinking quickly about where to hide, from tracking dogs, from surveillance Alices, from Persona himself; if he were in better condition he might be able to manage it, but between busting through his Alice-restraints, causing two explosions, and all the stress he'd been through in general, Natsume wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it. His head ached, he was dehydrated, his bronchitis was really bad, his heart was pounding wildly and painfully in his chest, and his legs were bruised from his poor landing in the escape attempt. Grimly, he hoped everything hadn't pushed him from stage II Alice disease to stage III, but even as he thought it the healing Alice stone his mother had given him started to glow, and he felt his lungs ease up a bit. He touched the stone above his heart gently. He didn't remember his mother, not really, but she'd survived this place. She'd been sent on missions. She'd had an Alice that was of the Fourth Form, and she'd survived this place. He began to run towards the river.


	3. Angry Heart

A/N: For those of you who are curious, I hope to update this once every week. I make no promises, but that is my intention. ;)

 **Chapter 3: Angry Heart**

Alice Academy was a noble institution. It was well-run, and wholesome. It nurtured the children in its care. The teachers were kind, loving, wise. That's why they have cells, Natsume thought bitterly as he sat in the corner of one shivering. He'd managed to evade the Academy forces for hours. Given the state of his condition, he thought it was pretty damn impressive. He'd hid his tracks, hid his scent, and tried to hide in places hard to recognise for even someone with a divining Alice. If he'd lasted just a bit longer, Persona might have let it go as he'd proven his mettle. Dangerous Ability students, Kuonji's black ops agents, had to be good after all. If he could have gotten away, they'd have turned a blind eye. It had been about twilight when he'd slipped up, literally. He'd gotten dizzy, out of breath, exhausted from hours of strain, his considerable stamina drained, and he'd tripped. Yes, he'd fucking tripped and cut his thigh on a twig. He'd bled, and they'd caught him for it.

Natsume put up a fight, but all he'd gotten for it were scraped legs and arms. Persona wrapped his hands around his neck, and dragged him back to a teacher with a teleportation Alice, leaving bruises around Natsume's chin and throat. He'd blacked out briefly when he'd been transported to his cell, and somewhere in between, his cat mask was placed on him again restraining his ability to use his Alice. He'd dreaded what was coming. He doubted he'd ever caused Persona and the Principal more reason to punish him: He'd blown out the wall. Suck on that. At least Lucas wasn't getting implicated.

"That was very foolish of you Natsume." Persona'd said yesterday evening in his deep melodic voice. It was annoying that someone so horrifically evil could have a voice that sounded so nice, could have anything nice. Half passed out, it would have soothed Natsume had it come from anybody else's mouth. "Running away like that: How cowardly. What would have happened to your sister? Did you think about what we might do to her?"

"Who said I wasn't coming back?" He glared at Persona fiercely for the implication, for daring to act like he cared about Aoi more than her own brother who risked his life everyday for her. "You trust me to handle professional killers every other day, and think I can't handle Tokyo?"

"Don't be foolish, boy. No one cares about you. No one loves you. No one will wonder one way or another what happens to you. You're a stain on their _civilized_ society. You're nothing, worthless, lower than dirt. What matters is the mission. What if your services had been needed? Our benefactor would have been put in a most uncomfortable situation."

Benefactor his ass! "He's got other people he can send. I'm cashing in my vacation time."

"I see." Persona said icily. "You don't care if this Academy is overrun by anti-Alice organisations? You don't care if students are kidnapped? You'd risk them with your sister."

Natsume grit his teeth. Of course he cared, but he wasn't going to weep either if one of those organizations ever provided a major blow against Kuonji. Natsume knew some Anti-Academy groups were as bad as what they were trying to take down, and were he not being forced into it, simultaneously helping a man he hated, he might feel far more pride in ending them. Those who trafficked in child Alices for instance, he had no qualms about stopping. Even so, Natsume always made sure to incapacitate people when he encountered them. He doesn't aim to kill where it can be avoided; it's not like Kuonji was going to be straight with him. What if those people were like his mother? Like him? People who were willing to sacrifice their lives for a worthy cause: People who weren't willing to abandon children into the hands of an absolute monster. It was a sticky situation; Natsume lived on the edge of a very delicate knife. He wondered if his parents, his mom in particular, would be proud or ashamed. If he'd been smarter Aoi might never have ended up here in the first place.

"We agreed. Your missions for my sister's life. I've held up my end. I owe you and this shitty place nothing. Don't think I don't know you had my mother killed! Don't act like you're the good guys."

"As you wish." Persona reached over to where a thin stick of wood leaned against the wall. "I shan't." The beating began.

Natsume hadn't given Persona the satisfaction of actively trying to escape it. It would have been a futile effort anyway. He merely limited himself to trying to twitch his arms and legs and torso around so the blows landed on muscle rather than bone. It was agony, and all Natsume could think was it wouldn't have been nearly so bad if he'd done anything worth the beating. He hadn't escaped; he hadn't gotten in touch with his father; he hadn't been saving a little girl's innocence. With every blow that landed, Natsume thought: _I hate Polka Dots. I hate Naru. I hate Kuonji. I hate this Academy. I hate you. I fucking hate you all._ When Persona was done, he'd cuffed Natsume's hands to the floor and walked away without a backwards glance: Asshole.

It was morning now, and Natsume was exhausted, hypothermic—as naturally neither blankets nor a change of his wet clothing had been provided—and sore all over. He could barely breathe, and his wrists were bleeding and swollen from the tight cuffs around them. He sat there waiting. He didn't even know what for. Were they planning on letting him out today? Or was he in here for the long haul? He felt like there were rocks in his stomach as he pondered the possibilities. He wrapped his arms tighter around his knees and waited to feel warm. He would not cry.

* * *

He heard footsteps. A face appeared in front of the bars. It was Nobara. She was his total opposite in the Dangerous Ability class: An Ice Alice so meek and timid she had to be hypnotised into using it on missions. She was an insecure mess who had practically been raised by Persona after she'd been abandoned to the Academy with a horribly unstable Alice at three. She saw Persona and the DA as some kind of dysfunctional family. Natsume saw her as dangerously pathetic, and he was too worn to feel sorry for her. If she was here, it could only be at Persona's bidding. Those apron strings had never been cut. Hopefully it was to release him. It probably was. Persona would happily imprison people in a cell, but he'd never known him to ever release one. For whatever reason, he always sent a lackey, and it was usually his prized little princess, Nobara. Natsume guessed he was just so twisted it hurt him to have to let people out of his little torture chamber.

"Um, good morning, Natsume." Nobara said shyly.

He ignored this.

She pulled out a key and the door swung open. Walking in, she knelt down, and pulled out another and undid the handcuffs.

"I'm allowed out then?" His voice rasped from dehydration.

"Yes." She spoke softly and nodded, her blue hair, which fell across her face, was unkempt and hid most of her expression. "He said you should get to class. It'll start soon." She looked up at him with caution in her eyes. "He says he wouldn't advise skipping today." Looking sympathetic—he hated her for it—she bit her lip and added. "He also said that you wouldn't be allowed to go to the hospital yet. Healing at a normal pace is a part of your reminder…"

He nodded and staggered past her knocking her shoulder as he did so. His legs felt like mush, and he felt like shit; his clothes were stuck to his body through dried mud and blood, but he forced one step in front of the other until he stumbled into his room unable to process how he got there. On his night table was a sandwich, a couple cookies, and a glass of water. Lucas must have left them there for him. In spite of himself, Natsume felt his eyes prickle. Lucas could have no idea, no idea, how much he meant to him. No one could know, until they'd come out of Hell, and been offered not only a drop of water, but a small glass. He could never repay his loyalty, and until Persona took his mask off, he wouldn't be able to eat or drink anything Lucas had left him, like he needed more reasons to hate that guy.

Natsume's mask only had holes for eyes, and covered his face entirely. It meant he wouldn't be able to take any of his medications from the analgesics to the water pills. It meant he wouldn't be able to take any opioids either: No real pain relief, of course not. Natsume gently peeled off his clothes, and took as hot a shower as he could manage. Relief flooded him as his core temperature warmed up and his muscles began to untense. When he was done, he slowly, achingly pulled on a uniform, wincing as the cloth hit sensitive flesh, and dragged his feet to class. His stomach gnawed at him.

Natsume knew he was late when he pushed open the door. He leaned heavily against the jamb trying to catch his breath. He hadn't been able to inhale his medication for his lungs this morning either: Lovely. He could feel the eyes of the class on him, and he hated himself for his weakness. He hated them for looking at him. He hated this school for existing.

"Natsume!" Lucas exclaimed driven up from his desk in shock. Wow, he must really look bad. He clenched his right hand into a fist before he forced himself to place his hands into his pockets and saunter in. He was determined not to look entirely in agony. They might beat him, but they would not break him. He walked down the aisle passing Narumi who was wearing a loud frilly outfit. Natsume wanted to burn it on principle; nothing should be that bright in this place anyway.

"So, I see you got caught after that? By him?" Naru whispered out of the corner of his mouth as Natsume passed keeping a smile plastered on his arrogant, pretty face.

"Shuddup." He barely managed to speak. His throat was cracked leather. Every step was pain.

"Hey, hey, Natsume, listen." Shouda leaned over into the aisle. "Without permission, just everyone's made that girl feel welcome, and—"

Rage roared inside Natsume and he kicked the side of her desk.

"Aah," she shrieked.

What gave her the right to talk to him like that? Had he ever indicated he wanted to talk to her? Did he look like he wanted to talk? And blast that new-girl for being happy here at his expense.

"This is bad. Natsume's wearing his punishment mask. When Natsume's wearing that mask he's always in a really bad mood."

 _Oh_ , _I'm_ _so_ _sorry_ _to_ _inconvenience_ _you_ _with_ _my_ _bad_ _moods_. _Perhaps_ _you'd_ _like_ _to_ _get_ _the_ _shit_ _beaten_ _out_ _of_ _you_ _instead_. _It_ _can_ _happen_ _after_ _you_ _pointlessly_ _defend_ _a_ _young_ _girl_ , _and_ _try_ _to_ _protect_ _your_ _best_ _friend_ _and little_ _sister_ _from_ _power_ - _hungry_ _thugs_. _How_ _does_ _that_ _sound_?

Natsume flopped down as he reached his seat and swung his legs inelegantly over the desk.

"It seems, apparently, when you wear the mask it runs electricity into your brain and gives you an endless headache."

 _Yes_ , _it_ _does_ _if_ _you_ _try_ _to_ _use_ _your_ _Alice_. _Now_ _why_ _don't_ _you_ _shut_ _up_ _and_ _mind_ _your_ _own_ _business_?

"Natsume…?"

"Don't worry, Lucas." He said quietly.

"Okay!" Narumi said with a wide smile on his face as he clapped his hands to get the class' attention. "Now that everyone's here, I have a little something to tell you. It's about our new transfer student, Mikan Sakura. She's still quite new to this school, and doesn't know her right hand from her left. Therefore, I would like to choose a "partner" for her who would be in charge of guiding her through life here. The person chosen will please remain with her day by day to teach her all about Academy living." Mikan, who was standing next to Narumi at the front of the class, looked eagerly at her best friend who held up her notebook that said,

"I will not accept such a tiresome job." Imai turned the page around and added, "Nope!"

"Mikan, if you like, I could…" Tobita started to say at the front of the class, but Narumi quickly spoke over him.

"Well, there aren't any volunteers then? It is a very tiresome job after all. So, with that, I will announce the decision myself. Drum roll, please!" He turned to look at the assistant teacher who nervously began tapping a staccato rhythm on the front desk. What a pointless charade. The Academy was full of them. "Mikan's partner is Natsume Hyuuga!"

He'd done that deliberately, asshole!

"Why Natsume with the transfer student? Or rather, you wouldn't normally leave a role like that to a person like Natsume, right?"

"Having Natsume as a partner? Poor girl…"

"Just what is this new-girl?! Is she someone important?"

"What do you mean this isn't a joke?"

"Mr. Narumi!" Polka Dots shrieked looking as horror-struck as he'd ever seen her. Come to think of it, that was saying something.

"Well, with that I'll leave you to it. I have an errand to run." Narumi smiled, and waved goodbye like the coward he was, leaving the nervous assistant to beg him not to leave.

Feeling Mikan's eyes and the eyes of the class now wholly focused on him. Natsume made his point very clear:

"Like I care."

At least no one, besides Lucas and maybe Imai, seemed to have clued into the fact that this was Naru's means of humiliating him. There was no way he was cooperating. No way in fucking hell was he putting up with that brat.

He leaned back in his seat and tried to sleep. It was difficult. His back was severely bruised, and Shouda, who was loud enough on her own, had gone over to pick on the new girl, who was equally as loud, asking her what her star class was, and needling her for not knowing it, or even what a star class was. Tobita jumped in sounding like an eager, pathetic puppy to explain everything, (Natsume pictured him as a little runt dashing around for anyone to pet him or throw him a bone), and modestly denied being anything special when it was revealed he and Hotaru were three stars. Naturally, the new girl was highly critical of Natsume's position as a special, because he was such a terrible person _clearly_ , (to be fair, she had a point; he'd only ever shown her terror; she hardly knew the reasons he bust down the wall, and there's no point being hurt when you make a point of making people hate you, but he loathed her for it nonetheless.) Shouda idiotically informed her it was because he was so gifted, a little wrongdoing could hardly lower his rank. Was the entire world stupid? It wasn't merely his Alice, powerful as it was, it was a means of gilding his cage with hush money and blood money. He hated it. He tried to ignore the voices, but around the class gossip swirled; for once Natsume hoped Jinno would come soon. He wouldn't tolerate any hint of a whisper in his class.

Relief came early in the form of nervous classmates, which was wonderful because it meant he didn't have to listen to Tobita's version of flirting:

"...On top of that, you're sunny, and cute, and a nice girl. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful ranking."

Someone shoot him.

"Everyone tidy up!"

"Oh crap! Next is Jinno's class."

Everyone scrambled into their seats and sat still the way prey does when it fears the eyes of a predator. Within five minutes Jinno walked in the door, and after the standard greetings and bowings expected at the beginning of each class with a different teacher, (it was agony standing up again to bow, but he did, knowing he wasn't going to try that again today, and wouldn't have bothered for any teacher other than Jin-Jin), Jinno wasted no time in making his stance on everything perfectly clear.

"I'm glad to see the presence of a new student in our midst has not caused the lot of you to lose your heads. The rules remain the same. You will pay attention. You will listen when I speak, and raise your hand before asking a question. You will speak only when you are called on, and you will not disrupt this class. I should also like to remind all of you that the usage of any Alices in my class is strictly forbidden. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Mr. Jinno."

"Well then, I shall begin my lesson."

It's funny how one's perspective can change. Natsume didn't think he'd ever appreciated Jinno's methods more. Peace and quiet were lovely things, and it seemed he was not the only one to appreciate Jinno's methods even if the reasoning was different and even opposing. Half way in, Shouda whispered to a telekinetic next to her, and an eraser flew and hit the back of Mikan's head.

"Wha-?" She turned around trying to figure out where it had come from.

"Do you have a question, new student?" Jinno asked from the blackboard.

"Uh..no."

Jinno gave her a stern look and returned to the question he was working on.

The next trick involved a mechanical talking rooster teleported to Mikan's location.

"Honestly, classwork's sooo boring! I love takoyaki! Cockle doodle doo!" It shrieked in a high pitched voice.

"What? What!" Mikan looked around frantically, as Jinno turned around looking speechless, as if no one had ever dared cause such a disruption in his class before. "No, this isn't me!"

"Takoyaki! Takoyaki! Go buy me some!"

The class giggled.

"New Student! Do you, perhaps, have a problem with my class? If you have something to say, say it clearly." Jinno's brows were furrowed and he looked as intimidating as ever. "If you continue to increasingly disrupt the class with your unsightly attitude, I will mete out punishment."

Mikan planted both hands firmly on her desk and stood up urgently. "I'm-"

"Mikan, look out!" Tobita shouted as a garbage can levitated over her head.

"No!" Mikan placed her arms over her head. "Don't come over here! Whose bullying is all this?" In her desire not to have the trash dumped all over her, Mikan unwittingly used her nullification Alice to redirect the course of the missile—right onto Mr. Jinno's head. Natsume had never been more entertained.

Jinno stood even straighter, if that was possible with his impeccable ruler-straight posture, and pulled the garbage can swiftly off his head. No one was laughing anymore, in the way that no one dares laugh when the strict teacher looks menacing, no matter who is on the receiving end, lest that wrath turn on you. On Jinno's head were bits of paper, old pages from notebooks, pencil shavings, dirty tissues, and oddly a young frog. He looked deeply unimpressed—Jinno not the frog—with the situation, and it was rather awe-inspiring, given how ridiculous he looked, he could still command a classroom.

"Class disruption, usage of Alice during lessons, and other such rule violations. You have guts, new student… From what I've heard, it seems your star-ranking has yet to be decided. This is a good opportunity. I shall decide here and now what is the appropriate rank for you. You are a no star!"

"But I-"

Hotaru grabbed Mikan's hand and shot her a look indicating further back-talk would only make things worse for her, and Mikan bowed her head. Jinno looked satisfied and Shouda grinned wickedly in the corner. Natsume knew she wouldn't risk inciting further disruptions. There'd be no need anyway. She'd gotten what she wanted. There wasn't much more humiliating a title than to be ten years old and dubbed a "No Star." Natsume wished he could care, it was a rather unusual move by a faculty member, but he was just waiting for the bell to ring lunch so he could get out, and avoid all the chaos which would come from this new revelation. The last time he'd bothered with Polka, he'd caught hell for it, and he hardly cared about piddly fractions.

When the bell finally rang, Natsume was out like a flash ignoring the questions about "has there ever even been a no-star in Class B before?", and Mikan's protests that she'd been punished unjustly, ('cause that's a new concept at the Academy, ya know?), and Shouda's smug laughter.

"Natsume." Lucas followed after him, and Natsume headed into an empty classroom to accommodate his questions.

"What happened to you?"

"I got caught, obviously." Natsume rolled his eyes. Even that hurt.

"I know that! It's just you seem worse than usual. Was Persona stricter, because we tried to escape?"

"A little, but it's mostly the drain of using my Alice, and not being allowed to get healed. I just need to sleep it off." He didn't want Lucas to worry. He wished Lucas wouldn't worry. He hoped Lucas wouldn't stop worrying.

"I see. You can't eat now either can you?"

"No. Thanks for the food though. It was...nice."

"You're welcome." Lucas shrugged, and went back to looking concerned. "What are you going to do about lunch?"

"I'm just going to go lie down and get some rest. You should eat. Don't mind me."

"I think maybe I should come with you."

Of course he wouldn't listen. "I don't-"

"You know there are going to be people who'll want to take advantage of you wearing that mask. I should go with you."

"You should eat."

"I'm going with you. Besides, I want to." Lucas looked beyond stubborn, the sort of stubborn Natsume knew couldn't be argued with, which was amazing considering his friend was holding, as usual, his pet rabbit. Few people could pull off intimidating resolve under such conditions, and, unlike Jinno, Lucas's face didn't look naturally stern.

Natsume sighed. "Come with me if you really want, but I'm not talking, Lucas. My throat hurts, and I'm too tired."

"Alright. I can wait."

Well, wasn't that reassuring. Cynicism aside, Lucas's presence was a relief. People who might otherwise have approached him were glared down by the man with the killer bunny, and when Natsume curled up under the sakura tree, he could relax enough to fall asleep knowing Lucas would wake him up if anything happened, or when it was time to go. Those forty-five minutes of extra rest helped more than he had expected, even if he was stiff when he woke up again.

"Thank you, Lucas." He'd croaked when the bell rang, and seeing his friend smile was worth the price of the blood he'd tasted in the back of his throat.

With Jinno, the strictest teacher's lesson done, Natsume spent the rest of the day sleeping at his desk trusting Lucas to make sure nothing happened. Natsume could remember little of what happened the rest of the day as a result, but when the last class was over Natsume woke up to see Persona standing in the shadows outside the window, and knew he would be obliged to meet up with him.

"Lucas," he muttered under his breath. "I have to go see Persona. You go on ahead."

"I'll be waiting in your room."

It didn't take long for Natsume to go around the outside of the classroom to where the shadows gathered from the afternoon light. Persona stood there unmoving like a spectre. Over two years in this place and Natsume still marveled at Persona's ability to find and meld into shadow like some kind of devil-spawn. It's no wonder people called him "The mask." It wasn't simply because he was almost perpetually wearing a white mask that covered his upper face like some phantom of the opera wannabe, but also because he came out of the dark like a shade. He didn't know Persona's real first name, although he knew his last was Serio, but Persona wore his many aliases very, very well. Natsume often wondered who'd given them to him.

"Black Cat, I see you've actually done what you've been told today."

Natsume said nothing.

Persona reached forward—Natsume flinched and hated himself for it—and grasped his chin forcing him to look upwards. "Look at these eyes. How you hate and fear me...but that's alright; that's how it should be. That's how it has always been. It reminds you to obey me. I hold your life and your sister's in my hand. Never again forget this fact."

Persona reached around Natsume's head, and Natsume tensed before he felt the hint of suction which accompanied the release of his mask.

"I've arranged an appointment for you at the hospital." Persona said staring down at the cat mask he held in his hands. "They will heal you of all your injuries which are visible to others such as the ones on your legs and neck, but they will leave the others be. They shall also ascertain the level of damage you have so foolishly inflicted on yourself." Looking back into Natsume's eyes he added cruelly, "I look forward to our next lesson."

Natsume shivered and nodded. He loathed feeling unequal to meeting the Mask's eyes, and headed towards the Academy's high-end medical facility and research centre stopping only for a long, long drink at a water fountain. Who knew water could taste so sweet?

* * *

"I have an appointment." He said to the receptionist when he arrived. He didn't bother giving his name; they all knew him anyway.

"Yes. Mr. Hyuuga!" The young girl exclaimed. "You'll need to get a blood test done first in Lab One. It's-"

"I know where it is." He said curtly and walked down the hall. Within the next hour he'd stripped down into a Johnny shirt, placed his clothes and the healing Alice stone he always wore around his neck into a locker for safekeeping, and been submitted to a battery of tests: Chest X-rays, EKGs, an echocardiogram, urine tests etc. There had been blood in his urine, great.

He tried not to think about it. Rather, he wondered about the Alice stone he left behind. The first time he'd even been forced to take it off and put it in the locker, he'd been scared to do so. His mom had given it to him, and it was about the only thing he had of her, (besides his general attitude, appearance, and existence). It's power almost depleted, he'd still wanted it for the sentimental value. When he'd come back after, the stone had been...recharged, for lack of a better term. Natsume had realized immediately only the person who'd made the Alice stone could have filled it up with power again, and it had given him hope. His father had once said the Alice stone had been given to his mother by a friend, her very best friend. That friend must be working in the hospital and recognized him and the stone, because every time since when Natsume's suffering had started to deplete the stone's power, and he'd come to the hospital for his tests, he would find it back to full strength. Every time it happened, it filled Natsume with strength too. He hoped someday he'd be able to thank whoever it was. Even if he died, the resistance continued. His mother's work, his dream of freedom, eventually they'd all be avenged. Kuonji would be dead—whether Natsume lived to see it or not. Maybe he'd see that small bitter comfort again when he was done here, as the Alice stone was, once again, almost fully drained from his most recent injuries and Alice usage.

"Mr. Hyuuga," Dr. Takayuki exclaimed when he walked in the door. "I was hoping not to see you again so soon, but here we are."

Natsume sat down, and said nothing. Seeing there would be no response the doctor stood up, rounded the desk and placed his hand around Natsume's neck checking for who knows what, before putting a stethoscope to Natsume's chest.

"Breathe deeply."

Natsume tried and ended up coughing.

The doctor sighed and sat back down. "Let's start with the story of your lungs, Hyuuga. The last time I saw you I diagnosed you with severe and chronic bronchitis, and prescribed you an inhaler for quick-relief, and inhaled steroids to combat the issue. Unsurprisingly, your condition has worsened. So, while I'd rather not, I'll be prescribing a long-acting bronchodilator as well. You'll inhale it twice a day." Takayuki wrote the information down quickly on a pad before looking back at his patient. "The issues with your lungs have worsened not simply because your bronchitis is worsening, although it is, but also because you've progressed into Stage III of heart failure. This has increased the stress on your lungs. I imagine you've felt quite dizzy and light-headed today? And quite tired?"

Natsume nodded. He really, really had. He still was tired. It was hard to even keep his head up.

"That's not surprising. Your extremities are also looking a bit blue. You're already taking the water pills and ARBs I gave you, I hope?" The doctor glared down at Natsume who nodded ill-naturedly. "That'll help keep your blood-pressure down, since practically everything in your life is driving it up, and stress off your heart. Regrettably, given the condition of your lungs, I can't risk giving you beta-blockers-"

Whatever the hell that meant, but he was sure it wasn't good.

"-so I'll just stress that you should decrease your fluid intake, and since I know you aren't liable to listen, especially since your breathing and additional stress will give you dry mouth, I'll prescribe another stronger diuretic, and that should be enough for now, as once you see Subaru, we should be able to reverse your heart failure from Stage III to Stage II, at least. If you want to slow your progress, I would recommend you get as much exercise as you can."

Of course, because breathing was so easy for him… Natsume rolled his eyes.

"Also, I'll tell the kitchens to monitor your diet for salts, potassium, and protein, which is doubly important, as your kidneys are inflamed. This is all fairly typical of the progression of Alice disease of course, and your increased diuretics and blood pressure medication should help with that as well so we'll add no more medications to your list. You may find it worsens your coughing."

He doubted with all of his lungs problems he'd notice at this point, but whatever.

"You will in time come to notice blood in your urine, frequent need to urinate at night, abdominal pain, swelling in your face and ankles, and frequent nosebleeds. If, or when rather, these symptoms start occurring with frequency, I want you to come see me right away. As it stands though, you are in Stage III of Alice disease."

So his latest stunts had pushed him over the brink.

"However, Subaru will be able to use his healing Alice to reverse a lot of the damage and bring you back to Stage II. Provided you rest, and decrease, even stop, the usage of your Alice for, say, six months, we may be able to significantly undo the damage done, even bring you back to first stage."

Takayuki said this every time, and every time they both knew it wasn't going to happen, wasn't even an option. Natsume wondered what the elementary principal held over Takayuki, or had promised him, was giving him, to keep him here treating children with false sympathy and unrealistic conditions as he sent them out again and again into the void to die. He hated him, he thought rather dully, almost like a reflex.

"Do you have any questions?" Takayuki asked with pseudo-kindness. Oh, who knew? Maybe it was genuine kindness. Maybe Natsume was really that pitiable at the moment given his condition. He wasn't sure which thought was more cruel. He definitely didn't have any questions though. What more did he need to ask to confirm he was slowly dying, his body shutting down? He's trapped, utterly trapped. Thanks to fucking Kuonji. He felt like running, but there was nowhere to go, even if he had the strength or will. He felt like shouting madly at the sky, but what would he say? This isn't fair? I don't wanna die? I'm only ten? Someone help me? No, not that, never that; even in his darkest nightmares he never begged for help. There was no one to help him anyway. He choked back despair. Looking back at the doctor, he thought about asking what his prognosis was. He thought better of it though, as he did every time. He'd been foolish enough to ask once, when he was eight, but he knew better now. Knew enough to know the answer wasn't worth hearing, and that nothing was certain, and that he didn't want to hear bullshit about possible heart transplants, and pacemakers and who knew what else? Besides, what did it matter? He could just as well die in the field. All he really knew was that he would be lucky to live to see past his first year of Middle School, if that. What more did he need to know? What more was relevant? He clenched and unclenched his hands thinking of his sister.

"No," he grit out, "I have no questions." He would live long enough to get her out of here; he owed her that, and after, the chips would fall where they may.

Takayuki nodded, guided him out, and showed him down the hall to where Imai's elder brother, the principal's lapdog, Subaru, was waiting for him. Natsume felt like shoving him off, and punching a wall, but couldn't muster the energy for it, so submitted to his attention, and Imai's ministrations before he got changed back into his clothes, picked up his prescription, and left.

He clenched his hand around his healing stone, and tried to feel better about it being fully charged again, and the mounting resistance effort against the Elementary Principal, but all he could think was: I'll never live to see it. What have I even done with my life? What have I seen worthwhile? The only thing he'd done of any worth was help Lucas, and save Aoi, and even that he'd botched. No! He would get her out. He had to. Then he would die, and at least he will have done something of worth before he finally expired like any product past its prime. He barely noticed his feet tread the well-worn path from the hospital to the dorms he was so lost.

"Oi, Hyuuga!"

Natsume turned around and saw the three bullies that had dared him to break out standing behind him. For a moment, he barely recognised them; two days ago seemed like an eternity.

"Clearly, you're not all that, Mr. Special Star. I heard Naru wiped you out with one kiss. Tell me, did you enjoy it?" They all laughed, and began to approach him with unknown, but sure to be malicious intent, and Natsume snapped.

"I did it with my Alice restraint mask on you fuckwits!" He surrounded each of them in a ring of fire. "If that isn't proof enough of my ability, then nothing is. Naru wouldn't have even been there to do anything if it hadn't been for you. You told him to be there didn't you?! Don't think I don't know, or that I won't remember." He narrowed the rings of flame until it singed their clothes, and wrapped the flame up to singe the tips of their hair too enjoying every second of their gasps and pleas. He felt like he was bleeding out his frustrations in their cries, and he relished it. Here he was in control. His chest groaned from the effort, and he could feel his lungs strain; his heart pumped with effort, and he reveled in it. He was going to die anyway. Nothing was going to stop it. He may as well use his Alice as it suited him. He released his fire, and the three middle schoolers bent over gasping for breath smelling of singed fabric and hair. Natsume glowered down at them. "I wouldn't play with fire again."

* * *

When Natsume finally stumbled into his room, he'd forgotten Lucas had said he would be waiting there, and found himself rather shocked at his best friend's presence in his room. Lucas was lying on his sofa reading a zoology book.

"Natsume, how did it go?" He sat up urgently and enquired.

Natsume shrugged. "It went alright. Persona just wanted me to get checked up. Imai, the other one, healed me of any visible—" he spat the word "—injuries, so I'm better than I was." He dumped his new medications on his night table, and stared at them for a second before turning back to face his friend. As he looked into Lucas's concerned blue eyes, Natsume felt a wave of overwhelming desire to tell him the truth: He was scared; it was bad; he was going to die, probably soon. Natsume bit it back. It tasted bitter, like keeping it inside him was rotting it further, becoming more poisonous with time if nothing was done, but he couldn't burden Lucas. It wasn't like it could be changed; there was nothing to be done, and Lucas would try anyway. The same way he had told Natsume he wouldn't laugh if Natsume couldn't, and he wouldn't cry if Natsume refused to, and Natsume swore he'd grow up faster, quicker, somehow, and make things better. He wouldn't be weak anymore. He didn't have that privilege, and he wasn't going to weigh down his best friend with his own burdens. He just wasn't, so he swallowed down the information that rotted away inside him, killing him.

"You said you wanted to talk?"

"Oh, yeah." Lucas mumbled looking inexplicably nervous. "It's about the new-girl, Sakura."

"What about her?" Natsume grumbled sitting down on the seat across from his friend. "What's she done now?"

"Nothing! I mean, she isn't what you thought she was. She's not a spy for Naru; I'm sure of that. I mean, obviously Mind-Reader would probably have picked up on it, but aside from that...she really doesn't know anything. She came here for Imai."

Natsume stared in disbelief. This conversation was not going where he'd expected. Actually, he wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it wasn't this.

"I mean, I know you did what you did when you first met her, and later in the woods, because you thought she was the enemy, except she wasn't… I mean, I was upset after they lured me into the woods, but I chose to stay with them...mostly."

"Oh?" Natsume was starting to feel pissed again.

"Look," Lucas leaned forward earnestly trying to convey something to him, but Natsume couldn't figure on what. "There was a giant mutant chicken chasing them, and Imai was going to take it down with a dart, but Sakura thought that was inhumane. That's why they called me in."

Natsume raised his eyebrows and spoke dryly. "So we're all friends because she's kind to deadly chickens."

"That's not what I meant!" Lucas exclaimed angrily. "Although, I think it says rather a lot about her. She's very kind, and very sincere, and I think she's very brave!" He said defiantly.

Natsume sat back and studied his friend. Observing the heated demeanor and the flushed cheeks, he concluded that, maybe, possibly, Lucas was developing a crush on the new girl. Suddenly, Natsume found he truly loathed her.

"What's your point?" He said rather more harshly than he'd meant to. Lucas looked nervous at his tone, but equally resolved to continue his position.

"I think, maybe, we owe her an apology."

"An apology!"

"Yes! I mean, you took off her panties, and I let you, but it's not like she could have told you her Alice, she didn't even know what it was!"

"Then she should have said so."

"But—"

"But nothing. I gave her every chance imaginable, but she tested me and took the consequences. No way in Hell am I apologizing to the likes of _her_." Natsume sat up furiously. He'd suffered enough on that girl's account. He owed her nothing. (Besides, it was better if people hated him anyway.)

"Alright, alright." Lucas held up his hands and backtracked. "I take your point, but I think maybe we should at least warn her."

"Warn her? What about?" Natsume calmed down slightly, but still felt on guard.

"You must have noticed the way Jinno targeted her. No matter how much trouble he might have thought she caused. She shouldn't have been made a no star over it. Other people have done just as bad, worse even, than anything she could have been accused of, and they weren't made no stars. You said yourself something seems fishy about her…"

Natsume rolled his eyes. "It could just be that in a school run by Alices, having a wayward child who has an Alice that voids theirs might not be so popular."

"Either way she's still going to suffer here."

"We all do."

"Worse than most."

"She'll figure it out, or Imai will."

"Look, I just think she should be warned. We know better than most, you know better than anyone, how bad this place can get, and I just think, after you almost burned her with your Alice—"

Natsume's eyes widened at the reminder. He hadn't thought Lucas would really bring that up.

"—I know you didn't mean too!—but I still figure after scaring her like that, we just owed her a fair warning to keep her head down. She's very sincere Natsume; she doesn't know how bad it is here. I mean, she actually trusts Naru, for one thing. She's just...very genuine, and I don't think she understands how bad this place can actually be. I don't think it would cross her mind. "

Natsume shook his head. "You do it then. I won't stop you. I won't say a word one way or the other. You do what you have to, but as for me, I want _nothing_ to do with that girl ever again." _Ever again._ Frankly, as far as Natsume was concerned he _owed_ her, and not in the way his friend meant.


	4. Settling the Balance

A/N: I was asked when I will post new chapters. I will try to post them on Mondays. However, I cannot always guarantee this. Indeed, this update is later than I hoped, and, as indicated previously, while I will do my best to post in a timely manner, I won't make promises I can't keep. What I can promise though is this fic will not be facing abandonment anytime soon, (if ever). Moreover, I will inform you should that become a possibility. What is far more likely is that between my work, my beta's work, and our personal lives, we will try to churn these out by working on it when we have feasible time, whenever that may be. This chapter alone is eighteen pages long. We are doing our best. To this end, while I am very flattered, I would appreciate not being asked when I'm updating. I am being as thorough and efficient as possible. I can make you no guarantees. Thusly, I would ask that you please be patient.

Thank you again for all of your support.

 **Chapter 4: Settling the Balance**

The next morning showed no changes in the Black Cat. If he'd hated her the previous evening for her complaining at dinner that no star's don't have enough to eat, as if she hadn't come here of her own blessed accord, as if that small struggle was worth complaining about, he now hated her for the opposite attitude: She was a bloody eternal optimist—a happy-go-lucky one at that. She ran into class late, announced good morning to everyone, and cheerfully accepted her punishment of cleaning out the barf cans from Naru all with a smile on her face. She staunchly bore all the menial jobs the teachers and students forced her to do as a no star, and it seemed she was determined to do it as annoyingly happy and _peppy_ as possible. Natsume couldn't help but feel it was done solely to piss him off. It turned out her reasoning was even more obnoxious, and equally as dismaying. (Not that she wasn't also trying to frustrate him too, but more on _that_ later.)

At lunchtime, after chasing fleeing barf cans, (and providing a great deal of amusement for everyone), with class rep who had, naturally, volunteered to help her, Mikan had passed a letter to Naru for her grandfather again with that _perpetual_ smile on her face. Naru had commented she seemed in better spirits than before to which Little Miss Sunshine had responded,

"I want to shed the title of no star as soon as possible, and see Grandpa and ease his mind. If no star is the absolute worst position then the only way I can get is better! I'm going to work hard." Another happy grin.

Natsume felt honestly horrified to discover such naivete could exist. He'd seen it all now. He really had. Lucas looked blatantly concerned for her though; it seemed to confirm his resolve that such an idiot needed to be warned. He dashed off to warn Mikan not to be so complacent; (Natsume ignored a twinge of not-jealousy); he was still stuck on the part where she not only believed it couldn't get worse than being a no star, but she also thought she might ever see her grandfather again before she got out of here. She was in for a few hard knocks. He couldn't wait to see it. She, who thought she knew everything, needed to be taken down a few pegs. Certainly, his belief he rather owed her had only increased given her all-is-wonderful demeanour died in his presence to devastating consequence.

"Where's the cooking classroom?"

He ignored her.

"Tell me what class is next?"

He ignored her.

"Hey, listen when I talk to you!"

He ignored her, and it did nothing for his carefully crafted reputation, as he couldn't do anything _but_ ignore her, as she could nullify his flame. Oh, he might get a pigtail burned, but he couldn't do her any excessive damage, and the little bitch knew it too. She had all but succeeded in making his eardrums bleed, and put him in the frustrating position of being _unable to retaliate._ Worse still, everyone else was picking up on it too. Starting slowly, the sentiment had gained momentum.

"I thought since they made her Natsume's partner she must have an amazing Alice, but look at her; she's nothing special."

"Are you sure her Alice is only a no star level? It was nullification wasn't it? I'm not sure. Anyway, that was because she got on Jinno's bad side. He's scary when he loses his temper."

"But doesn't it seem more like she's handling being Natsume's partner well?-"

"God damn you!" Mikan's voice could be heard over the gossip. "Tell me where the girl's bathroom is!"

"-Normally, you'd be too scared to scold him."

"Yeah. Hey everyone, if you need to ask Natsume something just ask Mikan for help next time!"

Lovely—just what he needed. Natsume made no outward sign of emotion one way or another, (although those who knew him well, or were exceptionally observant, might have noticed his poker face was stiffer than usual), but it seemed Mikan was _determined_ to punish him, and was succeeding. Natsume hated losing. He hated not being in control even more. The only thing he could do was ball his hands into fists in his pockets, and keep his posture ramrod straight, because, dammit, he was _unaffected_. He was determinedly turning his anger into stoicism where no one could see she was scratching under his skin. His own turf wasn't even safe anymore. Not because anyone would dare—besides class rep and the ever-lethal Imai—to be in her camp, but because people were starting to find him less intimidating. If this continued she'd destroy years of work, and what little satisfaction he got in busting down that wall would be lost. Increasingly, he resented her like almost no one else alive. It was doubly offensive to think she wasn't even trying particularly hard. He thought he'd probably chip his teeth if he kept gritting them the way he was, but it was better than getting into an out and out screaming match with her. He imagined turning around, and putting her in her place only to have his fire killed leaving him to shout as loudly as she did with both their arms windmilling erratically. In other words, hell no. That would be beyond counterproductive and undignified, better to pretend it just wasn't happening. He was so tired.

Towards the end of the day, his eyes were drooping and snapping up repeatedly, and he was phasing in and out of sleep as he lay his head in his hand. He was almost out again when he heard Jinno berating Mikan for her lack of attention.

 _Zap!_

"Mikan!"

Natsume's head shot up; his hand fell. He turned to see the girl twitching on the floor and Tobita dashing over to help her sit up shakily. Jinno was standing ahead of her holding his pointer up and saying cruelly,

"I hadn't told you, but my Alice is lightning, and it comes in handy to give punishment to idiots like you."

Everyone was stiff in their seats; even Natsume allowed some shock to bleed into his features. Something like this had never happened before. This seemed almost personal on Jinno's part. Natsume noticed Imai was fuming in her seat. She, like him, tended not to wear her heart on her sleeve, but her amethyst eyes were flashing.

"I can't stand people like you who disturb order." Jinno paused, briefly. "Before there was an individual with the same Alice as you, but like you was a fool who ignored the big picture, and disrupted the natural order. As is typical, in the end, he didn't die honourably. It would be good if you didn't end up like that."

Natsume couldn't fathom Jinno's motivations, but that was either a warning or a threat, and neither was endearing him to the class many of whom had gathered around Mikan in a show of solidarity. Whatever they might think of her, the faculty often served as a common enemy. Mikan, for her part, had the sense to hold her tongue, but glared up mutinously at Jinno who seemed unaware of anyone in the room apart from her.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" He taunted. "Do you perhaps mean to retaliate with your immature nullification Alice?"

She appeared to be shaking more with the effort of biting her tongue than with the aftereffects of being shocked.

"Interesting…" Jinno raised his pointer again and the tip began to crackle and spark.

"Teacher!" Tobita stood half in front of Mikan, pleading. "Please stop, Teacher!"

"Move, Tobita."

"Teacher," he continued earnestly, but Jinno was having none of it as he threw electricity at Mikan again just as her best-friend threw something at her. Mikan caught it, some kind of mirror of Imai's invention, and all the electricity rebounded off it. Everyone gasped and murmured as Jinno hit the floor, his hair standing on end.

"Teacher?!" Tobita cried out again uselessly, but Imai walked up calmly and took the mirror out of Mikan's hand to hold it up before everyone.

"If you've been knocked out with your own Alice," she said cooly, "there's just no hope for you." Raising her voice somewhat, she added firmly, "I say, the idiot's you, bungler teacher!" Then she grabbed Mikan's hand, and they both dashed out the classroom as someone prodded Mr. Jinno with their foot and commented,

"I think it would be best if we called another teacher over here."

Tobita, the vaunted class rep, was standing with his mouth hanging open. Lucas was staring at the door where the two girls had darted out, and the silence probably lasted about one second before there was chaos.

"Why get another teacher?" Lift-Up shouted. "Just leave him there and give us a free period."

"Are you kidding?" Someone else butted in. "Jinno'll kill us all if we don't get help. I'm not getting zapped next!"

"Well if you wanna-"

They all talked over each other, and Natsume left them to it. It wasn't his business. Someone in the corner was saying, "Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my." without end, and Lucas slowly turned over to look at Natsume generally gobsmacked.

"Well," he said with eyebrows raised, "I suspected she might be being targeted, but I hadn't expected that." He laughed humourlessly, incredulously. "Guess we aren't the only rebel best-friend duo anymore, huh?"

Natsume shook his head. He wasn't sure what to say, except it seemed to confirm his initial gut feeling the combination of Imai and Polka Dots was very, very bad news. The new-girl had certainly proved to have a penchant for causing problems too, which was made all the more worse in its unpredictability, because Imai certainly wouldn't have been sticking her neck out like this if it hadn't been for her. She'd been a model student until now. He knew he wanted nothing to do with them in either case, and he told Lucas so. (Neglecting to point out that he and Lucas being compared to the likes of Imai and Polka was sacrilege.)

Lucas just shook his head. "You're not serious, are you? Don't you want to know what's going on here? It could be important."

"What's to know? I doubt there's more going on than what we can see. Sakura has got a rare and dangerous, to them, Alice. Like I said, like Jinno said, nullification Alices could 'disrupt order' in a place like this. They want to keep her in line and are threatening her. It's standard. All I know is I've gotten into enough trouble over that ditz, and I want nothing more to do with her."

Lucas sighed and acquiesced—for all of about ten seconds. "But, how do you think that other nullification Alice died? Murdered, do you think? Anti-Academy rebellion? Suicide? How does Jinno even define 'dishonourable'?"

"Dunno. Don't care."

"No, seriously, it's supposed to be a really rare Alice, right? So if Jinno knew one before her, they're probably related, don't you think? I mean what are the odds of the same, very rare, Alice cropping up within a generation or two and not being related?"

Natsume sighed, and indulged his friend. "Probably not high."

"And Sakura goes on and on about her grandfather...Well, where are her parents? What happened to them?"

Natsume said nothing. Lucas stared at him in disbelief.

"You're honestly not curious?"

"As I said, it doesn't matter, although I will point out she knew nothing when she came here, so clearly if she does have Alice relations, they told her nothing about it which makes no sense. Look, she'll have to find her place at this Academy same as everyone else. You know asking questions will only make it worse. It doesn't matter. There are loads of people here with rough backgrounds because of this place, and parents who never wanted them to come here; if it's true for her, she's still nothing special, and I'm done messing around with her problems."

"I suppose. I just feel bad for her." Lucas reiterated.

"You've never cared before." He commented adding bitterly, "Why her?"

"No one else has been treated the way she has."

"She'll just have to learn to stand on her own two feet. This place isn't about to get any easier."

"I suppose."

"Imai can handle it."

"Now _that_ , is true." So, to his friend's immense, but unacknowledged relief, ended the discussion as Lucas began complaining he's sure Imai is about to step up her 'embarrassing pictures of Lucas Nogi campaign,' and class was dismissed amongst whispers and a general sense of unease when Tobita came back with Narumi.

Hours later, Imai and Sakura sauntered back in for dinner where they were informed of their punishment: A week's worth of extra cleaning duty for Sakura, and demotion to double star for a week for Imai. They accepted it with the air of two people who felt the punishment had been worth the prize, and the pair bickered good-naturedly over dinner. Natsume felt a twinge of unease. He looked over at Lucas who was eating next to him in silence. When was the last time they'd laughed? Rough-housed? Had fun? It seemed lately it was only shared history which held them together. Was he about to lose Lucas's friendship? Over this girl? Did Lucas regret coming here for his sake? Surely, he must. He'd understand completely if he did. Being his friend had no benefits for Lucas. It wasn't fair to him; he knew that. His stomach twisted as the Imai-Polka duo fought over food, and he found he couldn't eat his. When he found out, to separate Imai and Polka for the next week, Mikan was forced to sit next to her partner, Natsume could have puked.

* * *

That same sick feeling doubled when Natsume found himself standing outside the Dangerous Abilities classroom come Saturday wondering what Persona had meant when he'd said he looked forward to their next encounter. It couldn't be good. It would probably be— He felt a tug on his arm, and looked down to the source.

"You okay, Ni-chan?" Youichi asked as he pulled at Natsume's hand again.

"I don't know." He responded to the silver-haired three year old. He didn't want to worry the little guy, but he didn't want to lie to him either. Youichi got enough dishonesty from everyone else. Natsume was determined not to treat him in the same way, especially as the boy was a DA member, and in no position to be patronised. He guessed he must have sensed this—Natsume's honest concern for him—as the 'lil brat latched onto him as soon as Natsume had shown him any kindness when the poor kid had been placed into the Dangerous Abilities group.

If Natsume hadn't already a deep-seated hatred of the elementary principal, the addition of a three-year old to their group would have done it. Of course, it wasn't the first time it had been done, he knew for a fact Nobara had been the same age when she'd been inducted, and he was pretty sure Rui had been pretty young too, but knowing it happened and seeing it were two different things. Until Youichi had joined two months ago, Natsume had been the youngest. The knowledge his position had been replaced by a toddler had been horrific. Youichi wasn't being sent on missions yet, fortunately, but he certainly wasn't considered too young to become desensitised to the necessities of the double-life. Youichi was being trained to recognise weapons and handle bombs, get used to the sounds and images of violence, and use his spirit manipulation Alice to cause distractions. Natsume knew Youichi's role would be limited to distractions for the next couple of years, but when he hit four or five, he was bound to be used to infiltrate hard to access places, and plant surveillance material or explosives. After all, most people don't expect children as young as that to be weapons. Most people have hearts. Natsume assumes Kuonji cut his out years ago.

In any case, when Natsume saw little You-chan toddle into the DA room, looking wide-eyed and trembling, he'd immediately taken him under his wing. He did whatever he could to shield the little guy, teach him right from wrong, prevent him from being brainwashed into the principal's lap dog. He trusted no one else to do it either. The DA members may be united in their derision by the general student populace, but amongst themselves, they could be cruel and cutting. Not that they also weren't friendly, and had fun together, mind you, but then it came time to cut someone down to save yourself Persona's wrath: Dog eat dog. Some of them hated the school, some of them were ambivalent, and some of them were 'honoured' to serve, but all of them, Natsume included, were broken. There was Rui, their team leader, who was a manipulative sadomasochist, Hajime who was calculating and cold, Hayate who was a jolly idiot doing whatever he could to pretend he hadn't seen what he'd seen, and done what he'd done, and finally, Nobara, who was trapped under Persona's thumb. Whom among this crowd would you trust a child too? Nobara was the most gentle, but she was too weak-willed to be of any use. No, that burden fell to Natsume, who insisted on being Youichi's primary teacher, and who walked him to and from class to protect him from those who would bully him for being a DA member. No one had looked out for Natsume when he'd been drafted, but he would protect Youichi, he was determined...provided he could even protect himself. If Persona had a tough training session planned out for him as added punishment, he was screwed. He just hadn't healed enough yet.

As Nobara sidled up to wait with them outside the door, Natsume hefted little Youichi into his arms and wrapped his arms around him, as if by shielding the child, he could shield himself. Nobara's body language seemed even meeker than normal which prompted him to ask the dreaded question,

"Where're Persona and the others?"

She shook her head and said nothing, but her hair seemed limper than usual. That was worry enough. Looking like seaweed, it hung in her face and hid her expression so frequently Natsume felt he could read it better than he could her face. He had a sinking feeling he'd be facing down the others in the DA class as 'training' today. He'd hoped otherwise. He clutched You-chan tighter as his heart rate accelerated and his breathing increased rapidly, but he refused to give in to panic. He thought quickly, planning escape routes and distractions in his head. If he could just get outside… He looked down the corridor and saw Persona walking up. Behind him were Rui and Hajime both with their cloud of darkness and deadly insects surrounding them respectively. It was now or never.

"I'll see you soon," he muttered in Youichi's ear and passed him quickly and roughly into Nobara's arms preventing her from taking action as he bolted down the hall. Insects zoomed after him, but Natsume raised a wall of flame burning them to a crisp. Rui and Hajime gave chase, and Natsume took quick turns down the corridors using walls of flame to divide and slow down his pursuers. Persona didn't give chase though, which was worrisome, but not surprising. Natsume figured running was probably beneath the bastard. He had far worse ways to capture someone anyway.

When the floor directly ahead gave way, Natsume knew his estimation had been right. Well, it wasn't like this was his first go around. Persona had a rotting Alice, otherwise known as the "Mark of Death" Alice, and rotting the floorboards was one of his more useful tricks. It could stop a man in his tracks, or send him crashing down to the next level. It certainly made for a good trap. Natsume had anticipated this though, and was equal to it. He went through windows, charged down stairs, at one point used his flames to go through a wall when his way was blocked, until he finally made it to solid ground. Persona tried to guide his path, and Natsume refused to be trapped by it. He just needed to find somewhere to hide, and he'd be set. Persona couldn't stop the entire DA session all just to find him. If Natsume could just remain hidden, could just elude Persona where he'd failed to before, he'd be okay, as okay as was possible.

He rounded the corner of the brick building panting heavily—Persona would not be able to see him at this angle—and placed his hands on his knees and panted. He didn't know how long he'd been sprinting for. He felt shaky, and light headed; sweat was sticking his bangs to his forehead, but he couldn't stay here. Behind him he felt the faint echo of footsteps. Just do it! He straightened up and began to around the next corner when someone gasped and jerked backwards on the other side. It was the blessed new-girl.

"Na-Natsume!" She exclaimed his name.

"Are you over there?" Persona called out.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Double shit.

Natsume whirled behind Mikan and grabbed her left arm with his left, holding her flush against his chest, as he wrapped his right arm around her mouth and chin, driving the latter into her neck. She wriggled and squirmed. Natsume whispered in her ear.

"Don't speak! If you make even the slightest fuss, I'll kill you." He said this with a low, calm voice, and far more sinister than he realised. It was the voice of experience, pain, fear, and deep desperation, all the more terrifying for the matter of fact tone it was delivered. This was a voice of dark experience. Persona would let him off if he could escape, but if he did not...Natsume wondered if he'd survive it. He tightened his grip. He was not going through another beating over this senseless brat. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest. He wanted to run, but letting her go wasn't an option. He could only stay here, behind this wall, and keep her silent, very silent, and hope it was enough. Oh, if he got in trouble because of her again…

"Natsume, if you're there, be a man and answer."

No response.

"Natsume."

The footsteps were getting closer. Natsume held Mikan even tighter, were that possible, choking her slightly rather than risking her have the air to speak, let alone shout.

"Natsume."

The footsteps faded away. Natsume looked over his shoulder and saw Persona had gone. He let Mikan go only to slump down against the wall.

"What-what is with you?!"

Natsume stared off into the distance feeling like everything was quite far away. He heard the girl's voice but it didn't penetrate. Did it matter? He felt his lungs expand and deflate as he breathed. His hands shook from the adrenaline. He felt like he was floating on an island, and everything was on the other side of the water. He could see it, but it was blurred. He could hear it, but the sound was echo-y and patchy—distorted.

"Just grabbing people out of nowhere! Stop messing around, moron idiot! Oh, you're ignoring me? Shame on you!"

He looked away; tuned her out. Exhausted beyond measure, there was nothing to say anyway. What would he tell her? What could she hope to understand? What could anyone understand? What explanation could be provided? It wasn't like he wanted to talk anyway. He lay his head against the brick wall, not able to bring himself to move. She kept gesticulating madly in his face.

"Hey, look, that's Natsume."

Natsume turned his head. Oh, it was Shouda's elder brother: Yeah, that prick, huh. He would have shrugged his shoulders if it hadn't seemed such a waste of energy.

"Flirting with a girl, and brazenly skipping class, huh? Executive students have such good status."

He stared rather blankly. It was always the middle-schoolers who tormented him, as a rule, wasn't it? He supposed it made sense. Those who were old enough to be in middle school now had been in Class B when he'd entered the Academy. They'd been in just the right position to hear all the gossip, and actually old enough to draw their own sordid conclusions: Annoying pricks.

"Wait a minute?" Shouda Sr.'s friend added peering at Mikan's collar closely. "She couldn't be the unprecedented no star…? I think I'm right..."

Natsume sighed. Here it goes again.

"That's my line." Mikan spat at him. She really did believe he was the worst scum in the world didn't she?

"What's this? Oh, you're ignoring us."

"What's going on?" More of the middle school crowd sidled up.

"Apparently, it's Natsume."

"Oh, seriously?"

Enough of this shit. He wasn't on display. Natsume stood up, turned tightly on one heel and stormed away.

"Hey, wait a minute, mass murderer!"

He slowed to a stop, his back to them. He wondered if maybe he shouldn't, but found himself unwilling to do anymore running than he already had, nor did he know what they might do if he did run.

"I'm just gonna say, don't think we acknowledge 'dangerous ability' executive students like you. Don't go getting big-headed, coasting in on being called things like 'genius'. Truthfully, the only reason you can remain as an executive student is because you're The Mask's favourite."

Natsume looked over his head at Shouda, his heart rate accelerating again at the threat, and looking as deliberately murderous as possible, placed his sleeve on fire.

"Ah!" He screamed. "He's gone and put a fire!"

Natsume turned slightly, taking a vindictive satisfaction in Shouda's girly screams. He wasn't so arrogant now, was he? Shouda's buddy grabbed some water and put out the flame. The other turned maliciously to the crowd.

"Hey, someone call Persona here!"

"If you're gonna call him, then call him." Natsume said with a tone made of ice; his stern face with red-eyes combined to give the impression of a boy possessed. "Before the guy gets here, I'll char everyone of you black." He stared everyone of them down into silence, and turned again to walk away, feeling rather satisfied.

"Wait, you bastard!" Shouda yelled desperately after him, looking far less preened than before with a burnt sleeve, a sweaty face, and a soaked uniform. He grabbed Mikan by her pig-tail. "Don't you care what happens to this girl?"

Natsume blinked twice, murderous persona briefly dropped, as he stared in shock. Where should he start with that? I mean, if he did care he could just burn Shouda again, so he hardly got the point...but why would anyone think he cared? Wait, did they seriously think he cared?

"Do you intend to abandon your girl?!"

Natsume's eyes glinted. This was perfect. He smirked in response, and walked away once more this time ignoring the calls after him to wait. Within a minute he heard them change the object of their cruel attention to Polka Dots. Natsume felt better somehow. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought Lucas might be upset with him for leaving her there, (when did Lucas become his conscience?), but he didn't care. He'd finally found a means of putting her in her place. He just hoped she got the message. This brought the tally even.

* * *

Youichi was clutching his Teddy Bear when Natsume found him in his room after class was dismissed.

"How'd it go, Youichi?" He asked.

"Okay." The little boy said in a very small, quavering voice that immediately had Natsume contemplating worst case scenarios. What if Persona'd screwed with him worse than usual today? Not just because Natsume'd ran, and hadn't been there to protect the kid, but to deliberately punish him for not having been there? He knew Lucas's star rank and privileges fluctuated by how pleased the Principal was with him, and Persona had told him when he'd complained once, that if he couldn't handle his workload, they could just induct Lucas...It was different with Youichi though, he was in the DA. They might treat him horribly, but that was inevitable, or so Natsume tried to work through his guilt, as if he'd had a choice in the matter.

"Do you wanna go to Central Town, kid?" He sat down on the bed next to him. "Remember last time we went and Lucas got you those Howalons you like?"

Youichi nodded, and tottered down, reached up to grab Natsume's hand and dragged him out the door still clutching his Teddy Bear. It took some time: A bus ride where Youichi said nothing, but sat on his lap, and a long wait in line plus a few Howalons later, but Youichi started to look happy again, which made Natsume feel better.

"Howalon, Ni-chan?" He asked lifting a sticky hand with a fluff puff in his hand.

"Nah," Natsume replied shaking his head. "I don't go for sweet." It wasn't strictly the truth, but Natsume wasn't taking candy from a toddler, and he didn't want Youichi to feel bad for eating them all when he wanted the kid to in the first place.

"Ni-chan, okay?" Youchi was looking up at him with a caring look on his face.

"Why?"

Youichi shuffled over onto his lap and clung to him. "Seem sad...and you ran."

"Yeah, Persona was...really mean-" so much for not patronising but were the details truly necessary here? "-to me the other day. I was too tired to go to class, but I'm okay."

"Okay." Youichi laid his head against Natsume's chest. "Lucas, okay?"

"Lucas?"

"He din come this time." Youichi said in slurred toddler speech that was hard to distinguish if you weren't used to it. Natsume felt his heart clench. Truthfully, he hadn't felt able to face Lucas. Lucas would ask uncomfortable questions he didn't want to get into and, well…

"Lucas's fine." He paused trying to figure out what to say next. "There's this new-girl in class, Mikan or something, and Lucas likes her, but I don't so he's… So I'm here, so he can… be with her if he wants to, I guess. I didn't tell him I was coming."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"You sad."

Perceptive bastard.

"It's okay." Youichi looked into his eyes with an ethereal blue-grey stare. "Lucas wealy likes you. He said so. He said he gets scared too when you go."

"Really?"

Youichi nodded against his chest again, and Natsume felt somewhat better, if only a little. He wondered if Lucas would keep looking out for Youichi when Natsume died. He wondered if Lucas would be drafted. He wondered how scared the little kid would be if all that went down.

"You want to go see a movie, kiddo?"

A frantic nod, and off they went.

Natsume lay Youichi down in bed hours later after the little guy had worn himself out, and tucked the blankets in around him. Youichi had been perceptive enough to see Natsume was still sore, and had considerately toned down the toddler enthusiasm, (actually he'd been a bit clingy which was understandable, but worrisome), and what was most important, he felt they'd had a good time together. Smiling softly, he ran a hand through the child's soft hair, and left the room, looking back on the sleeping profile briefly as he closed the door.

* * *

Come Monday morning, Natsume was feeling far better rested. He'd slept most of Sunday away, and between that and his healing Alice stone, he felt as good as he was probably ever going to feel, and as per always that good mood was gone by the end of the day thanks to-guess who?

She stood in front of the class after the final lesson of the day, and wrote "Banish Stress Through Sports" on the blackboard boldly announcing everyone should play a nice friendly game of dodgeball.

"What? Dodgeball?"

"Yep!" She said with a smile. "If you have fun playing, you'll forget about all the bad things, and feel refreshed!"

No, he turned his back on her utterly and went back to his manga.

"With this, insidious bullying will disappear…"

"Huh? What is she saying, this loser?" One boy piped up.

"Who's going to do that, idiot?" Another said, drawing out the last word vindictively and throwing an empty can at her.

"Moron!"

"Go away, ugly!"

Behind him Natsume could almost feel the atmosphere change, as he heard Mikan start to bounce the ball up and down, and it echoed in the sudden silence. He was tempted to look around and see what she'd done to warrant such a reaction, but he refused to give in to the temptation.

"Ooooh, I see; I see. Even though I called it playing, you don't have the confidence to defeat me in competition so you're running away, huh? Haha, crybabies."

"Mi-Mikan," the Class Rep stuttered terrified of the challenge she was issuing to the angry class. Natsume himself was disgusted this girl seemed determined to pick a fight, and do stupid things like challenge an entire class of students who didn't like her to a game of Dodgeball: Why?

"Even though, you're always lounging around pretending you're all that, right?" Mikan continued seeming oblivious. "Hey, everyone, did you not hear me?"

"Yeah, we heard you! You need to be put in your place!" Someone shouted, and it all got out of hand. Natsume found himself being unwillingly drawn outside in a competition he couldn't care a wit about. This girl was sweeping over everything.

"The rules are official; you are absolutely forbidden to use your Alice! If you use it, you're out!" Mikan shouted. "If I win, you'll stop bullying students and teachers, until doomsday!"

"Fine!" Someone shouted back, "But if your team loses you have to be our servants forever!" The boy looked over his shoulder at Natsume. "Right, Natsume?"

Oh, good. They hadn't forgotten about him then. He was starting to get worried. Truthfully, he had no interest whatsoever in doing any of this, and found it all annoying to deal with, but he couldn't afford to lose face, and it would be worth it to one up new-girl.

"If there's not at least some kind of stakes, there'd be no point playing."

"Of course," the same boy continued feeling tall with Natsume's backing, "which team we choose to join is entirely personal choice."

"What are you going to do, no star." Shouda added with a nasty smile.

"I'll do it even if I'm alone!" Mikan shouted back.

"Great! Don't you forget those words!"

And so Shouda cupped her hands and shouted, "Anyone who wants to be on Natsume's team come over here!" Literally, almost everyone in the class joined, and Natsume marveled at what could be done in his name, when he actually wasn't interested no less, and that this had somehow turned into his team v Mikan's.

Over on the other side of the field, she was sitting despondently until a handful of stragglers and delusional dreamers decided to go up and join her. Funnily enough, Imai was doing the sensible thing and trying to get out of everything by saying she had a cold. About six of them stood together shouting a battle cry: Ridiculous. Why get worked up over a battle you can't win?

He shook his head, and surveyed his own much larger team. Nope! Mikan's team were definitely not going to win so what were they so happy about? Meanwhile, standing awkwardly at the edge of the line dividing Team Natsume and Team Mikan was Lucas. His bunny clutched in his arms; Natsume was contemplating how Lucas planned to play ball like that when the bunny jumped out of his arms into Mikan's territory, and Lucas chased after. She scooped it up, and grabbed Lucas by the shoulder, and insisted he'd come to join them. Natsume had expected his friend to just grab his rabbit angrily and come back, but instead he blushed fiercely, looked desperately uncomfortable and torn, but allowed himself to be sandwiched between Mikan and Imai who had grabbed his other arm.

"With that," Mikan shouted, "my team is complete with seven members!"

Fighting a losing battle indeed: Yeah, sure, why not get worked up over that?

"Natsume looks bloodthirsty…"

"Yeah, but what do we do if we accidentally hit Lucas with a ball?"

"I dunno, but Natsume looks really serious about this."

In front of his eyes he saw Mikan teasing Lucas and wondered when had all this happened? To his knowledge these two had hardly talked to each other…

"I-I'm sorry, Natsume." Lucas said quietly from the front, as the game began.

Mikan started giggling as she talked to him.

"What? Stop it!" His best friend exclaimed.

"Lucas-Hop," she relied affectionately. She had a nickname for him now? "No matter what you keep saying, I really think you're a good guy."

"Huh?"

"Well, it's just even if it was unwillingly, you were kind enough to stay over here, so it must be you do care even a little bit about us and the rest of the kids in the class. So, thanks!"

Natsume took the ball he'd been given and threw it deliberately at her head just as she exclaimed,

"Let's do our best!"

"What are you going on about?" He shouted at her to a chorus of heckling behind him of:

"Nice shot, Natsume!"

"Too bad the head's out of bounds."

"Don't go getting a swollen head," Natsume concluded. The girl was now glaring back furiously at him. She picked up the ball and threw it back-hard.

The game became brutal with the other team having the disadvantage of fewer members, but the advantage of more space to dodge. Mikan also had the disadvantage of having mostly non-athletic members that she personally felt guilty about whenever they got hurt or otherwise hit, (but his team was justifiably terrified of hitting Lucas.) Mikan herself proved to be a formidable opponent with no small amount of athletic ability, and Natsume found himself focusing all his anger into every throw he aimed at her, and always aimed at her, and no one else, again, and again, and again.

After a good amount of time though, he found his anger drained as if he'd spent it throwing balls against her. He felt exhausted, but...better, somehow. He supposed he couldn't rage against this forever. There was no use in it. The turning point came when Mikan was devastated when her own best friend got hit straight in the face, and Lucas encouraged her to continue. Natsume saw him standing amongst his friends, his other friends, and felt instantly guilty over his ire. He wasn't a hundred percent sure what Lucas's 'I'm sorry' was about, but he didn't think his best friend had entirely abandoned him. Lucas was just...kind, and Mikan's objectives were something he would have sympathised with. Natsume couldn't afford to act anything other than mean, lest anyone suspect he was not what he pretended to be for his sister's sake, but he'd never wanted Lucas to contend with that isolation and cruelty. He wanted Lucas happy; didn't he? As he kept throwing, Natsume came to accept that given he was going to die, probably soon, it really would be best if Lucas had friends other than him. He'd never made Lucas happy. The least he could do was allow his friend to find joy somewhere else, and so he forgave Lucas, or more accurately, he forgave the obnoxious Polka Dots. He could be nice to her...Well, he could at least tolerate her, for Lucas's sake. He would put up with it. It felt like writing his Last Will and Testament.

The game finally ended in a tie, with most everyone worn out and lying on the ground, and feeling somehow sated. There was even talk of having another match some time. Natsume walked away to get some water. He needed to be alone. Talking about future games of friendship and happiness was too much to expect of him at the moment. It implied a future that wasn't his. You can only tolerate having that dangled in front of you for so long.

Natsume gulped down the water mouthful by mouthful as it eased his parched throat. His breathing was struggling a bit, although he did feel better for the exercise, even if he was more exhausted than he probably should be. Well, the doctor had told him to exercise hadn't he? He'd actually done it. Natsume heard a branch snap behind him and turned sharply around by reflexes born of years of training and experience.

"Natsume." It was the Mask who was looking sternly down at him. "A sudden mission has come up, so I came looking for you. Follow me. I trust you won't give me anymore trouble like before?"

Natsume felt the sweat pouring down his face, the tired tremors in his body, and clenched his right first. He shook his head: No, he wasn't going to cause trouble.

Damn it all.


	5. Making Amends

A:N: Well, I actually managed to post my longest ever chapter a day early, so go me, I guess! LOL I'm going to be very busy tomorrow so I tried to get it up early. :) Also, I'm afraid for the same reason the next chapter won't likely be up for two weeks, just a head's up. Thus, without further ado:

 **Chapter 5: Making Amends**

It was a long-ass drive: Six fucking hours. That was definitely long enough for his muscles to tense up, and to feel the consequences of not inhaling his evening medication. This was already shaping up to be just peachy. It was him, Nobara, Hayate, and Yakumo, who was the one who was driving. This was not surprising given he was the only one legally allowed to drive, although Natsume had to wonder if Kuonji really cared about these sorts of technicalities. Honestly, when'd _he_ get to drive? Why did this have to feel like a camping trip with him sitting in the backseat of a regular car like a kid? The mission was straightforward, but unlikely to be easy. A Z base had been discovered. They were to infiltrate it, hack into the system to gain whatever they could, get out, and blow the place up. If possible, they were to capture members of Z for interrogation, but that was a secondary objective. (Natsume was determined to fail at it, just 'cause he could.)

"We're getting close," Yakumo commented as he glanced up at the GPS. "Get going with that wind, Hayate."

"Rightio, Boss!" Hayate grinned, and focussed on blowing wind, and gradually increasing its strength. The idea was to get the people at the base used to high winds going. (It was a windy area of the country; it wouldn't likely rouse suspicions.) Then, when Natsume got close, use his flame to heat the relevant cameras. Between the combo of wind and fire, they'd drop giving him, Nobara, and Hayate a means in without being caught. Hopefully….

Yakumo began to slow down, and finally he parked behind a convenient grove of trees. The base was way farther than Natsume liked if things went South, but there was nothing for it. The four of them got out of the car at Yakumo's command, and Natsume was handed a pair of binoculars so he could see where each of the two cameras he was supposed to flame were. Casting fire from a distance, and so precisely, was difficult enough without a visual cue. After spotting his target, he focussed, and a small flame wrapped around the piece of metal holding the camera to the roof. He heated it, and heated it, until it could melt metal. At least it was only a small flame required, because to raise the temperature enough to melt metal was taxing, and Natsume could already feel his body getting feverish. Persevering, he sat there feeling his body failing until he heard, with relief, Yakumo, who had the binoculars back now, say the camera had fallen.

"Wait a few minutes now," the teen muttered even though they all knew the plan, "and while they're all worried over that quadrant, down the other, and get in. If our intelligence is right, you'll have twenty minutes, so you'd better move quick."

"Roger!" Hayate said excitedly, sounding like a child on an adventure, the fool.

The 'few minutes' passed agonizingly slowly, but no alarm was sounded and Yakumo confirmed people were out ascertaining the damage.

"Do the next one, if it's easier you can just fry the machinery, I think. Now that one's down the why and hows of the second won't matter so much."

Natsume nodded, sucked in a breath to steady himself and focused on melting the innards of his new target. He breathed in and out sharply as he tried to ignore the quavering of his heart as he heated the fire hot again.

"That should do it." He told his teammates who nodded. "Let's go." There was no time to waste.

He, Nobara, and Hayate sprang up and began to sprint down to the corner of the building where the map they'd been given showed they had the best chance of entering. Hayate provided a strong wind at their back to help give them speed. Within five minutes, they were there. Natsume was panting, but trying not to show it. He placed his hands against the wall and burnt a hole into it for them to get in. The wall fell with a crash _much_ louder than he would have liked.

"Let's go." He said in a low voice. "Quickly! Who knows who heard that."

Nobara nodded meekly, which was almost surprising given how out of it she could be in her hypnotised-for-the-mission state. Hayate just looked like a nodding puppy, and they piled in after him, Nobara considerately using her ice to lower the temperature of the wall so no one would get burned.

"Follow me." Natsume was the youngest here, but Nobara was no leader, and Hayate was a happy-go-lucky overgrown kid, so that left him to make sure they all survived this. He brought them up a level and several corridors when they were seen. Natsume had just lit a flame in his hand when Hayate increased the wind around them and blew the woman forcefully into the wall. Her head cracked back with an audible snap from the whiplash, and Natsume knew immediately she must be dead. He hated it when stuff like that happened.

"Do you think she's dead?" Hayate whispered, and Natsume felt sorry for him. He knew, even if it aggravated him to Hell and back, that Hayate used his humour, and his games and jokes as a means of dissociating from all...this, but some things you just couldn't deny.

"Yeah, I reckon so," but that was that; "We need to keep moving."

Off they went, two doors down on the left, they entered a room with a few computers and Nobara started hacking in. She was better with computers and programming than all of them combined. Natsume checked his watch, beyond grateful there had been no one here they'd have had to take out somehow. For one thing, they'd already used up half their time. This was going to be tight. He thought about telling her to go quicker, and realised the futility of it. In her hypnotic state it wouldn't register, she was already going as fast as she could. Persona would have ensured it, so Natsume rocked on the balls of his feet instead, anticipating the shouts that could come at any moment. When Hayate started to whistle thirty seconds later, it was all Natsume could do to merely whisper to him.

"For fuck's sake, shut the hell up!" Did he want them to all get killed along with that woman in the corridor?

One minute passed. Hayate was pacing erratically and swinging his arms. Two minutes passed. Natsume's muscles hurt from the tensing anticipation. Three minutes passed. Nobara pulled the USB out of the port, and placed the cap back on it: Awesome!

"Let's go!"

They almost made it-but almost is "not quite." Just outside their hole-in-the-wall three armed thugs showed up. They yelled a lot of shit Natsume couldn't make out. The moment he saw them he reached out and burned their right hands. The right hand was typically the dominant so it was a good one to go for, and even if it wasn't, it was still hard to draw and shoot a gun when your hand was on fire. (Natsume knew going for both hands was ideal, but where possible, he did try to be merciful. He didn't know who these people were, and if they were against Kuonji, who knew if they were good or not?)

"Run!" He shouted, and while the 'enemy' were screaming and rolling on the ground trying to avoid severe nerve damage from flame, Natsume and his comrades ran and ran and ran until they dove into the car, Yakumo put the pedal to the metal, detonated the charges he'd set, and they vroomed off into the night: Mission accomplished.

It was about 4 am when Natsume stumbled into his bed. He coughed up several spats of blood, and slept the remainder of the morning, missed half of the days classes, and woke up just in time to grab his lunch from the kitchen before everyone else got there. (How appropriate for his rebel trouble-making reputation…) He was _not_ in the mood to deal with bullshit about the dodgeball match, (which seemed less important than ever), and he wasn't sure he was willing to face Lucas with an audience, but he _was_ ravenous. Sitting down underneath one of the school's oldest Sakura trees, Natsume began to fork down his food as he enjoyed the cool breeze brushing over him. Typically, within fifteen minutes after he'd got there, Lucas showed up carrying his own meal.

"How'd you find me?"

"You had me worried sick!" Lucas replied raising his hands in a universal gesture of despair and looking distinctly upset: The sort of upset that masked itself as anger rather than admit it was helpless desperation.

"That's not an answer."

"Well, it's part of one." Lucas sat down next to him with an ungraceful and grumpy thump. "I went to find you yesterday after the match. I wanted to talk to you, but you were just gone! Gone! No one knew where you were, so I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and finally I stationed the animals outside your window to let me know when you came back, and you didn't come back 'til early this morning! I've been worried sick."

"So you said."

Lucas glared at him pointedly. He was not amused. "When I heard you'd been up-"

"From your animal friends?" Natsume asked teasingly trying to stall the conversation however he could, but Lucas really wasn't having it, and looked offended on his furry friends' behalf.

"Yes, from my animal friends! I got them to track you down and I followed you here."

"Well…"

"Yeah."

They weren't looking at each other anymore. It seemed without Lucas's anger to fuel their talk, they simply _couldn't_ look at one another. Natsume sighed. Stalling was one thing, but nothing was worth this awkward _silence_.

"I'm sorry I worried you."

"No!" Lucas exclaimed looking over at him with blue eyes wide giving him a child-like expression. "No, it's not your fault. I know when Persona comes you have to go; I just...I was scared if something happened, I didn't want it to be when things weren't right between us."

Natsume felt guiltier somehow. Lucas shouldn't have to feel bad for being his own person. Lucas had always, always supported him, often to his own detriment. Never laughing, never crying, because he said he wouldn't when Natsume couldn't. Natsume knew he'd been jealous, but Lucas was allowed to have other friends, even if he didn't like it or them. It probably wasn't healthy to be so joined at the hip...and he wanted Lucas happy even if that meant he got left behind. "We're fine, Lucas."

"Are we?" Lucas's head drooped. "Look, I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings yesterday."

"You didn't." Natsume interrupted reflexively, and Lucas stared at him incredulously.

"Alright, you did, but I was fine by the end of the game. It's cool. She's right, you know?"

"She is?" Lucas's eyes were wider than ever.

"Yeah, I mean about nothing else," Natsume had to qualify, "but she was right about you being a great guy, and you felt you were doing the right thing."

"Yeah, I did, "Lucas said quietly, "and thanks; I didn't want to go against your team, but...it just isn't right the way she's being treated, or the way people get bullied around here. Hell, even you get bullied. I just wanted to make a stand against that. I'm sorry it meant being on the opposite side."

"It didn't, really. We're both on the same side, even if it doesn't show in dodgeball. Look, Lucas, I don't care for Polka Dots, but if you want to be friends with her, it's fine, you know. You're allowed to be friends with other people, and...I'll try to be nicer. You're right, I was too hard on her-maybe. I've just been really pissed at it all lately."

"It's fine. I'm glad we're okay."

"Yeah, we are." Natsume responded quietly.

"Hey, Natsume." Lucas's tone was soft now too, really soft. "You do know though, whoever I make friends with, you're still my best-friend, right?"

"Thanks, Lucas. That means a lot." It did even if Natsume wasn't sure he believed it, because how could he be _anyone's_ best friend if he wasn't their _only_ friend? He was sure though, that Lucas would always be his best friend regardless. Maybe that was all that mattered.

They talked quietly about the mission after that until the bell rang. Natsume hadn't been briefed yet, and who knew if he ever would be, so they speculated on what the stolen files were about. It was probably just the locations of other bases, weapons stockpiles, and personnel files and the like. Natsume figured he'd just gathered the details for further missions. Wasn't that great? Actually, maybe it was. Otherwise, Kuonji would send him out without the proper intelligence, and that might be ten times worse. He wondered if the men whose hands he'd burned had survived the blast or not. Then, he tried not to.

At least the rest of the day and the next passed with no significant events or turmoil, thank god. Natsume couldn't help but notice the toll of superheating fucking _metal_ had had on his health. He made sure to suck on a few cough drops as discreetly as possible to ensure Lucas wouldn't worry, (and he didn't want people to watch him hack). He asked mindreader to signal him if anyone dared ask him to 'play soccer this time,' and somehow managed to get through the days. The pressure off his lungs slowly eased a bit, and the healing stone around his neck drained of its colour, all used up-exactly like Natsume felt. (He really must be getting cracked if he was sympathising with a _stone_.) He still wore it though. It was his only connection to his mother. It was the only connection he had to his family. He'd come to the Academy with the clothes on his back.

Sadly, his short respite did not last any longer, as the chance to prove his words to Lucas came by the end of the second day after his mission, when Mikan started freaking out during free period over the grand total of zero letters she'd received from her grandfather. She speculated wildly from he was holding a grudge against her for running away to he was terminally ill and she didn't know it. Finally Imai had enough of her melodrama, and told her to go to Otonashi, who had the Alice of divination through dance, to get some answers. On Natsume's part, he couldn't tell if Imai was trying to help her friend, or get back at her given nothing could be worth the humiliation of having to dance _like that_ for your fortune, especially when the real problem was obvious.

"O Seer," Mikan said reverently on her knees, "did you see anything?"

"I see!" Otonashi said with an arm swung over her forehead dramatically: _Oh boy…_ "Yes, I see… Sakura, your grandfather has, right now it seems, come to the Academy."

"No way; it can't be true!"

Otonashi put her fingers to her temples and focussed. "It is true. No matter how it came to be, he is in front of the gates."

Mikan's mouth was hanging open. Natsume wasn't sure if it was in amazement of her grandfather's presence, or the blatant use of Alice she still wasn't used to.

"He's at the gates saying, 'Let me see my granddaughter!' I see his request being denied repeatedly." _Well, obviously…_

Mikan started trying to run out of the classroom, but was blocked by her friends who tried to explain it was forbidden for any student to go near the gates without permission. She replied furiously her grandfather had come all this way and she didn't care if she got punished for it, she was going to see him! Natsume found himself oddly sympathetic, but agreed with Imai who stopped her from her folly explaining not even Class Rep, who was a model student, was allowed to see his family more than once a year. This was something everyone had to endure. Her getting herself into more trouble would just make everything worse. Even so, Imai was kind enough to at least use her tech to spy on the situation outside the gate, and she and Mikan watched intently, as the rest of the class eavesdropped.

"I'm sorry, but even if you come everyday, I won't be able to let you see her."

"Then at least let me hear her voice, or just a letter even...to talk to my granddaughter. I just got a telegram telling me my granddaughter had been admitted to Alice Academy. Apart from that, I've heard nothing; I haven't been able to sleep at night...Please, I beg you."

"Sir…"

"What does this mean?" Mikan exclaimed wildly at Imai.

"I don't know. Don't ask me."

"He hasn't heard anything since? I've been writing letters everyday."

Enough of this crap. It was a combination of his oath to Lucas, and genuine sympathy towards her, not that he would admit it, that had him speaking up from where he was lounging back in his seat, one arm slung over the back in a nonchalant pose.

"Did you honestly, idiotically, think they'd let you get away with communicating to the outside world? Especially, a troublesome devil like you who sticks out? Useless fool."

"What are you saying out of nowhere?" She rounded on him. "Mr. Narumi really did promise me. He said he'd deliver my letters to Grandpa!"

"Then what is this about your Gramps not having received any of your letters at present?

"Well that's…"

Natsume swung his legs around the seat and stood up. "Let me take this occasion to inform you: From now on, the day when Narumi will deliver your letters to your old Gramps won't come. If you think there's an adult you can trust in this Academy, it's a big mistake, especially for those people like me and you who are being watched." He hated to admit it, but they did have that one thing in common. He wondered if she'd pick up on the fact this was an apology, or the closest she'd ever get to one from him. After all, he'd actually put his name and hers in the same sentence! He walked out of the room. It was partially to avoid the shocked stares of the silent classroom at his speech, and partly to avoid the uncomfortable memories and any feelings of camaraderie. Behind him he heard someone say,

"Since the dodgeball game, he's really been in a bad mood. I wonder if something happened? I mean, he normally just ignores Mikan."

Natsume almost chuckled bitterly. He was actually trying to make his peace with this girl, and people thought it meant he hated her more than ever. Well, that was probably for the best. In a small corner of his heart though, he felt sad...and lonely. He'd done such a good job, people would always assume the worst of him.

* * *

Natsume sat next to Lucas at supper as per always, and glared away anyone who tried to sit too close.

"So...how'd it go?" He asked his friend in spite of himself. "I've heard rumours new-girl tried something during the rest of free period?"

"Yeah, she did." Lucas nodded sympathetically. "Imai suggested they use her surveillance tech to check out what was going on with her letters."

"And?"

"Well, Imai has these surveillance stickers. One was in the shape of an ear for audio, and one an eye for visual. It was nanotech, I guess, and it transmitted to a little device Imai had so we could see and hear everything. So Sakura wrote a letter, put the stickers on it, and gave it to Naru in the staff-room. We- "

"You were there too?"

"Yeah," Lucas looked slightly nervous admitting it, but he also looked pleased to be able to. "Imai, Rep, and I went with her."

"What did you see?" Suddenly, Natsume wondered if he wouldn't be receiving some grand insight into the inner-workings of the Academy, and what might be happening to any letters he might have sent, or his father had sent.

"Narumi walked into the staff room, and the TA commented how unusual it was she kept sending so many letters, and Naru said it was understandable as it was the only way to contact the little family she had left. Then the TA said whatever the situation was with her, he didn't understand how they could be so hard on her just because she was a nullification Alice. He said what was happening wasn't fair. Then Naru said that may be true, but because of past events, the nullification Alice is practically a taboo thing around the Academy."

"Past events?" Natsume muttered. What could that be about?

"Yep, that's what he said. I guess it was the same thing Jinno was talking about."

"What in Hell did that other guy do? What do they think _she's_ going to do?" Even as he said it though, he reluctantly, almost admiringly, had to admit the girl was just crazy enough to do something stupid and problematic.

"Dunno, but, I just thought, it makes sense in terms of escape."

"Escape?"

"Well...doesn't the MSP have a barrier around the school?

"But...if she could nullify it?"

"She could escape. If he-the other nullification guy, I mean-tried to do that…"

"And maybe brought others with him…"

"Bet you anything they killed him for it."

"Shit."

"Yes, but it's all just speculation though."

Speculation it may be, but it was good speculation. Briefly Natsume thought of the vain hope Mikan might be able to help him get his sister out, but, no, the moment the barrier even shimmered, at the wall or in the Flower Den, they'd all be on them. It would be a futile gesture. Besides, he couldn't trust someone so happy-go-lucky-gullible with his secrets anyhow. He already had proven to himself he could bust out if he needed to. He didn't need help! He just needed to get his sister. He'd manage it. It could be done, even if it killed him.

"So, how did Polka take it?"

"Ohhhh," Lucas sucked in a breath shaking his head, "not well. Not well at all."

"Huh." Natsume huffed. "Didn't think so. Guess she knows the truth now then?"

"Yeah, she stormed in and flew at Naru. Actually shoved him in the chest."

Natsume couldn't help but be pleased at the image. Nice to see her actually directing her fury at someone who deserved it.

"Well, as you can imagine she got in trouble for it. Could have been worse though. She's just been confined to her room without supper. It's funny, you know. I think Naru actually felt a bit sorry for her…"

"Yeah, sure, that's why he's not delivering her letters. It's because he cares so damn much." _Hey wait a minute!_ "Wait, what's he doing with them now. I don't think you mentioned that part?"

"Oh, right! He's burning them. That's when the feed fizzled out and Mikan flew in and accused him of lying to her even when she believed him over everyone else who told her not to, and then she just burst into tears and begged him to let her see her grandfather, but...he couldn't, or wouldn't. I don't know which."

"Wouldn't more like."

"Yeah."

"Damn."

Natsume looked over to where Class Rep and Imai were sitting despondently. Word was spreading pretty quickly, and Natsume could feel it settling over the class. It wasn't anything overt, but the ruckus was just slightly subdued. Fewer people were floating or whatever. Voices were quieter. Natsume imagined they were all wondering what it would take for _them_ to have their letters not be delivered-without even being informed! When you were at the Academy you were at mercy of Kuonji's whims. Mind you, he was sure there was a significant portion of the class, Shouda's faction in particular, who would have said that Mikan was promoting Anti-Academy sentiment, and, therefore, in the interest of security, couldn't contact anyone, and she deserved it anyway, but deep down, they all had to sense the inherent _wrongness_ of what had just happened. There was nothing any of them could do about it. He changed the subject. Of course, half an hour later, Imai insisted on dragging it back up, as she approached their table.

"Nogi."

Natsume bit down on his cheek hard not to laugh at his friend, because brotherly solidarity prohibited him from laughing when Lucas jumped almost entirely out of his skin as Imai approached him. What did he think the icy bitch was going to do to him?

"Wh-what do you want, Imai? I don't care what pictures you have, I'm not doing anything you ask me to do!" With the way he was stuttering, Natsume rather doubted that.

"Yes, you will, Bunny Boy," Imai replied with a smirk, "but I didn't think I'd need them." She looked like she was sitting on the jackpot with that evil smile, and Natsume didn't like it.

"We're sorry to bother you," Tobita timidly put in eyeing Natsume, "it's just we tried to see Mikan, but Mrs. Takahashi wouldn't let us… All we heard was her sobbing."

"The point is, Nogi," Imai concluded, "we need you to distract Mrs. Takahashi from playing sentry until we can at least sneak Mikan some food. The only thing I can think of that'll work really well, is to get her to chase after a mouse stealing her food again. Last I heard, you were fairly good with animals." Now she was really smirking. This must be about the giant mutant chick incident Lucas had told him about when he'd said he was sure she'd step up her campaign to blackmail him. Wow! Imai was _really_ milking that for all it was worth. To be fair, the possibility of selling pictures of the blonde, half-French boy, with the leftover baby fat, dance around, and hug, and kiss a giant chick probably was very lucrative. Oh, yeah, it would be lucrative either as blackmail, or if that didn't work, to sell, and Lucas was always sensitive about people thinking his Alice was effeminate...He'd totally cave. _Don't laugh, Hyuuga, don't laugh._

"Fine," Lucas said angrily like a spitting kitten, but, nah, a kitten probably looked more ferocious, "I'm doing it for Sakura though, not because of you!"

"I'm sure you are." Imai said with a wry tone, and she gave him the bag of food. "Tell her it's from us."

Lucas looked over his shoulder at Natsume as if to ask: _Are you okay with this?_ Natsume tilted his head in a half-shrug to indicate his lack of interest, and Lucas dashed off to find a mouse and feed a lion.

Natsume sauntered back into his room after that. Who was he going to talk to really? He rummaged through his bookshelf full of innumerable volumes of manga looking for something to divert his attention. Ultimately, he grabbed one at random and kicked back on the sofa with it, neither reading it nor enjoying it, but rubbing his fingers across the pictures. All this talk of letters and family lately—all he could think of somehow was Dad was an artist. In between all the jobs he'd had moving around escaping the Academy, he'd drawn comics once. He wondered what his Dad was doing now. If he closed his eyes he could almost see him, with a pencil or brush in hand, fingers moving quickly and fluidly across paper. He turned the pages one by one, looking at the designs of characters, and the strokes of the lines, and tried to imagine it was his father's hands doing it. He was about ready to shut the book angrily as nostalgia turned to despair when Lucas opened the door, and came in. He sat down on the opposite couch looking exhausted, like he'd signed someone's death warrant.

"Oy!" Natsume threw a cushion at his head. "What's going on?" If Imai really had done something, nothing would spare her his wrath…

"Well, I gave Mikan the food, and she latched onto me, and begged me to help her see her grandfather."

"What?" He turned around and sat up straight. "You're not serious?"

"Yeah, she said the very first day she came here, I flew out on an eagle. She begged me to help her do the same."

Natsume felt his blood run cold and drain out of his face. He figured he must have looked like an albino given his eyes. "Did you agree?"

"Yes, I did." Lucas looked him in the eye seeming tired but resolved. He carried himself like he'd already taken his licks for his actions, and knew he was still doing it anyway.

"Lucas, they'll know you helped. A giant eagle? They'll _know_ you helped."

"I know; I know, but...Her grandfather might really be making himself sick out there day after day. He has no idea what's going on, unlike our families did. I just…" He shook his head; his bangs flitted back and forth across his face. "How could I not help her?"

"When you said she'd be able to escape the barrier, I didn't think you actually meant to help her."

"Well," Lucas gave a weary half-smile, "I guess I'm crazy too. Imai's helping though so I'm not the only one involved.. She's not sure Mikan has enough control over her Alice to really pull it off, so she's making up some cream to help resist the barriers effects. We're just waiting until it gets dark, so she'll have more cover."

"Lucas…"

"You think I shouldn't have agreed?"

No, he didn't. What good would it do? Lucas could get into _so_ much trouble for this. Mikan just needed to suck it up. This is how the Academy works. On the other hand though, if that had been his father out there… What was right and what was wrong? He just didn't want his best friend to get hurt.

"I just want you to be careful. If you get implicated in this… I don't know how much I'll be able to protect you."

"I don't want you to have to protect me!" Lucas scowled. "I just want to be able to actually help a friend. That's all. I just want to be able to actually do something."

 _Oh._ "Okay, I won't say anything else then."

"Thanks."

They sat in silence after that, and each read their books, or pretended to, but the atmosphere was tense with anticipation. It was loaded with all of the unspoken worries and fears.

When Natsume looked out the window after Lucas left, he watched intently and soon he saw a figure being carried by a his friend's mutant eagle and tossed through the barrier. It looked painful, and he saw bursts of energy as she broke through. If she had used her nullification Alice at all, she hadn't done a good job of it, but at least she was out. Overwhelmed with a sense of deja vu, he wondered if she had a letter burning a hole in her pocket for her grandfather, he wondered how far she'd get. In spite of himself, he wished her well. It hadn't taken more than a week for her to do the same desperate thing he had. He didn't feel sorry for her though, that would be like pitying himself, but he did accept she had not known what she had gotten herself into when she came here. She'd just come here for her friend. He wondered if Imai ever felt as guilty over that as he did over Lucas. He wondered if this wasn't why Lucas helped her. He wondered if Lucas regretted coming, like Polka probably did… He turned away from the window and went to bed. Her words, "Who'd regret anything if you weren't here," were ringing in his ears.

* * *

She must have succeeded, because the next morning she was as annoying as ever. Naru was as well. He started off the day by telling the class during homeroom, (while wearing the most hideous, frilliest monstrosity in existence), that the Cultural Festival was coming up: A two week long event where the various Alice Ability Classes showed off what they could do for various sponsors and international businessmen...but, you'll note, not their actual parents, Natsume couldn't help but think, because the children were pawns to be used and exploited, to rake in money and power and prestige, not to actually nurture and care about. Everyone would be spending the first period with their Ability groups to determine what sort of demonstration they'd be putting on. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten in all the chaos of late that that shit was coming up. The human Ball of Freak Outs was freaking out over it though, loudly and obnoxiously, because she'd only grown up in the country and there was nothing like that there. Lucas for his part was not taking this obvious opportunity to enlighten her on how it all worked, because he'd caught sight of Imai shuffling through some rather damming pictures of him and had chased after her out of the classroom to get them back.

Then the unthinkable happened: Lift-Up was telling him some interesting rumours about the High School Division when Polka Dot Joke comes up and puts her hand on his shoulder, smiles at him, and says,

"Hey, hey, what sort of things do you do for the Alice Academy's Cultural Festival? It's probably different from normal, right? Or do you just set up shops and things?"

Everyone in the immediate vicinity must have gone still; everyone in the class must have been watching, but Natsume didn't even notice, because someone was touching him, and not to hurt him, but as a friend, and it _wasn't Lucas._ It was making him feel...uncomfortable, really uncomfortable. What? Did she think because he'd told her what should have been blindingly obvious that they were friends now? What was she playing at? He didn't go around making friends! He grabbed her by her pigtail and held it over his palm where he lit a flame,

"Get out of here, ugly." He spoke directly into her ear.

She screamed, grabbed her pigtail, and ran off to put the fire out as Shouda laughed heartily. Natsume just felt sort of empty. There was a phantom weight on his shoulder where her hand had been, but his fire didn't seem to have dampened her spirits any. Within five minutes she was buzzing around the classroom asking everyone what the different Alice Types did for the Festival and what was involved. She looked like a spinning top on caffeine. Why did the new-girl have to be so loud? Why couldn't they have gotten someone quiet, and normal, and meek? He did his best to ignore the shrieks, and squeals, and giggles in the corner as he read his manga. The door boomed open just as Mikan got to,

"So what does the Special Ability Class do?"

"The likes of the Special Ability class are the number one most unpopular class with absolutely no redeeming features."

Boy did that voice sound damn familiar.

"Given it's a class of a bunch of weirdos and drop-outs all brought together, it's the natural result."

"Ah!" Mikan yelled, (it was like her default setting). "It's the wakame haired boy and the creep from before!"

"Where do you go around calling your superiors 'it'?" Shouda Sr. replied looking the very picture of offended vanity. It had to be him.

Natsume slipped the manga down from his face and eyed them hatefully over it; superiors his ass. They must have sensed his eyes burning a hole in them even without his flame, or perhaps they could feel the tension as everyone in the class started to notice his palpable loathing of them, but Shouda and the Other Idiot looked over their shoulders to find him.

"Natsume…so he is here." He heard Shouda mutter. He could almost see the ponce trying to figure out if saving his bullying face was worth the very real possibility of being burnt again. What was the best action for him to take? Natsume was certain it would be the stupid one. That was Shouda's MO. Just give him a reason...

"Oh, yes," Shouda Sr. said straightening up, and turning a bit to keep Natsume in his line of sight. "I'd almost forgotten. Beneath even the Special Abilities class in unpopularity, wasn't there the Dangerous Ability Class who're not even allowed to enter the Cultural Festival?"

Natsume found his muscles tensing in that familiar fashion of battle anticipation. It was so familiar at this point he thought he might feel uncomfortable without it. He sat stock-still as Shouda Sr. continued wondering what he'd say next, wondering how much would be truth, how much lies, and how much propaganda.

"Well, it is the Academy Festival where there'll be a lot of government officials and other such important individuals coming, after all. They'd want to cover up the trash. The Academy administration quite knows the risk of putting people like the Dangerous Ability students out front. You should be grateful they even allow you to participate."

Natsume could almost hear Persona and Kuonji and everyone else whispering in his ear that he was a failure, worthless, inadequate, weak, well he _wasn't_ , and he wasn't going to put up with this. Closing his manga, and getting up out of his chair, he pointed an index finger at Shouda's head and placed his hair on fire.

"Turned from wakame-head to mozuku-head," he one-lined as he marched out the door. Lift-Up called after him and caught up quickly,

"Nice one, Natsume."

Behind them Shouda was frantically looking for some water to put out the flame, and he could see Polka Dot's wide-eyed glance in his direction. Internally, he sighed. _Who'd regret anything if you weren't here!_ She should hate this damn place; she should equally loathe him, and it was better that way. He shouldn't have thrown her to the wolves though, just because she'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She shouldn't regret being here, just because he was. Enough people who were in this Academy suffered because of him. He didn't need another. He figured he'd atoned for it this time though, just a little, burning seaweed head as he had.

"Hey, Natsume?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry, but I've got to head over this way now." Lift-Up pointed down a different corridor than where Natsume was headed. "I've got to meet for the Festival thing." Oh, right, the bell had rung. He looked apologetic, and somehow that seemed to make everything worse. Natsume just nodded and left, feeling like everyone was going off living there lives, and having a blast, and he was simply trying to survive each day. Well, wasn't that his exact situation anyway? He sat down under the shade of the closest trees and bushes he could find and absent-mindedly played with a little dog that ran up to him. Not wholly alone then. Who cared about some damn Festival anyway?

Natsume threw the stick and the dog kept fetching it back. It must have gone on for about five minutes when he started to wonder why it was people called someone a "dog" as an insult, until he realised that little guy kept bringing the stick back to him again, and again, and again. If missions were sticks, Natsume kept bringing them back too. A meaningless, fruitless gesture for some man's pleasure. He waved the stick at the dog instead letting it hop all around him. The canine did seem to be enjoying himself. Why'd he have to overthink everything? He was more than Kuonji's dog. Dog's were loyal. He wasn't. Not to that bastard anyway.

Hearing footsteps coming up, Natsume prepared for the possibility of more heckling, but along the path, it was just Sakura walking up looking despondently at various pamphlets for the Festival. All of her earlier enthusiasm seemed to have dissipated. Shouda and his goon must have got her down. It was her own fault really, for getting so worked up over things. Nothing here was worth beans. When would she realise that? It was all a huge shit-show. She gasped when she saw him, and dropped all her papers, and it occurred to him the last time they met like this, he'd threatened to kill her. They both should have anticipated this meeting though, he especially. He wasn't new. Like last time, she would be on her way to her Ability Class. Like last time, he definitely wasn't. She looked angry at herself for her reaction, but it seemed to him rather understandable, especially given he'd burned people's hair to start off his morning. (What didn't make sense was why she'd bothered to smile at him this morning in the first place, but it had long been established that she was crazy.) May as well do it better this time around with no Persona. He'd burned seaweed-head for his own amusement too after all. He owed her just one more apology. He picked up a pamphlet and held it out in her direction.

"Everyone here and there, keeps going on Culture Festival this, Culture Festival that, what's so fun about it? They give lip-service to it being a "Cultural Festival," but isn't it just an Alice exhibition?"

She stared back at him in stern confusion, took the pamphlet back, murmured a 'thank you,' and said absolutely nothing else. She was definitely holding a grudge about the pigtail, but whatever. He waved his stick at the eager little dog again with the happy, wagging tail, and remembered the thoughtful look in her eye. Maybe she'd start thinking now, start seeing through all the lies, and they'd all be able to get on with their lives in relative peace. Natsume resigned himself to the long, boring first period, (and tried not to feel ungrateful that he was getting to _rest_.) The Dangerous Ability students couldn't enter into the Festival, but did they seriously want to?

"Hey! Natsume!"

He looked over his shoulder and saw Lucas running up towards him waving a hand in the air to get his attention.

"Hey," he said again as he settled down next to Natsume on the ground, out of breath.

"What about the Cultural Festival meeting?"

Lucas laughed. "I snuck out. Sorry, it took so long. I was trapped there for awhile, but I didn't want you to be alone."

"I was okay." Natsume shrugged, telling what was something of a half-lie.

"I know, but I'd rather be here with you, than Naru."

"Well, who wouldn't be?" Natsume smiled. "I assume you sent the dog then." That dog was the best creature in the universe.

Lucas smiled widely. "Yep!"

"How'd it go this morning anyway? I saw you dashing off after Imai."

"She had pictures of me from last night wearing…"

"Sakura's skirt?" Natsume said in a wry voice.

"How-how do you know that?" Lucas asked sounding pained. "I was only acting as a decoy, you know! She wore my clothes so from a distance, you know, people wouldn't catch on so quick who it was, and-"

Feeling touched at his friend's presence, Natsume was grinning openly now, and pulled a picture out of his pocket. On it was Lucas in all his glory, wearing a red plaid pleated skirt he was trying to hold down in the wind, and blushing fiercely as he did so. "I know, because I bought one from her, and don't you look _cute_ in them."

Lucas's jaw hung down. "How could you?"

"Ah, well, I figured if I gave her enough for it, she might not circulate so many. She's only after control and money, you know?" And as a friend, how could he let such a picture go by without getting his hands on one for posterity?

"I know, and it's annoying. She really is targeting me more than ever!"

"Well, you shouldn't be so nice to chickens then." Natsume chortled.

Lucas threw a stick at him.

"Last night was a success, was it?"

Lucas shrugged. "I guess so. Mikan didn't get to see her grandfather, because guys with guns came to kidnap her, and Naru came and he took a bullet in the arm getting her out, apparently…"

"So, it failed in other words." She'd seemed awfully chipper though… Was she even human?

"Maybe, she says he promised to actually deliver a letter to her grandfather in person, though, so..."

"He's lying, or he wants her indebted to him." Idiot girl.

"Yes."

"Well, she'll just have to learn then." Learn not to listen to people who gave you false hope about letters and family…

Lucas sensed the heavy silence and filled it with something he knew would split it apart.

"It might-just maybe, mind you-have been better not to have chased Imai down and taken those pictures from her."

"Why?"

"Because Naru caught me with them when I went to my Ability class earlier. He thought I looked, in his words, "provocatively feminine."

"Bastard."

"Well, that's what got me held up."

"What did he do…" That pervert…

"He insisted for the play we're putting on this year, I have to be Snow White."

"What! No way!"

"Don't you dare tell anyone!" Lucas pointed a finger at him intently. "I couldn't get out of it. He said I could pull it off, and because I'm an Animal Pheromone Alice, I'll be able to handle the 'friends of animals princess theme' really well, so…"

Natsume leaned over and said earnestly. "Lucas, I am so, very, very sorry," then, he cracked up, "that your play will probably be so successful!"

Lucas mock wrestled him down for his comment, and the pair of them tussled on the grass under the autumn sunshine. It occured to Natsume Lucas being happier, and having other people in his life, had surprisingly made things easier between them.

* * *

Natsume slammed his hand down on the alarm as it blared. Only in this unholy school were people expected to go to class on a goddamn Saturday morning. Rolling over he rubbed his bleary eyes, and started pulling pills out of the various bottles on his night table. Popping them into his mouth he downed them with water, and it occurred to him, as he was preparing the medication for his lungs, he might have gotten the dosage wrong. He shrugged his shoulders. It didn't matter anyway did it? Nothing mattered much, because nothing was going to stop the inevitable.

He yawned, dressed, gulped down his food before anyone else got to the cafeteria and headed to Class A's dormitory. Natsume had risen earlier than most anyone this Saturday to make sure Youichi was ready to face Persona. He tapped on the door and a high, tiny voice called out,

"Come in!"

He opened the door. Youichi was awake, but snuggling his teddy. He didn't look too tired though which was a mercy.

"Time to get dressed, kid."

Youichi nodded and got out stumbling along on slightly unsure legs to get his little uniform. He managed the shirt and even the shorts all by himself, but Natsume had to help him with the shoes.

"You ready, little man?"

"Yes!"

"Well, then let's go."

A determined nod. Natsume took his junior's hand and walked him over to the breakfast area where he'd make sure You-Chan ate everything.

* * *

Class that day didn't prove to be excessively difficult, as these things go. Persona was pleased with the success of the last mission Natsume had been on, and it seemed Natsume had almost wholly redeemed himself in the administration's eyes. Whoopee! But at least he wasn't facing a beating—not beyond the training regimen they faced that day anyway. On a typical Saturday morning the DA group devoted one hour to physical exercise, one hour to training exercises, and field equipment, and one hour to training their Alice. Now that Natsume's healing stone had finally burned out, he was faced with training without it. He'd never noticed before how much he'd relied on it. The twenty minute jog, (yes, even Youichi was expected to run or at least walk the laps for the whole time), turned out to be surprisingly difficult without it as it turned out the stone had been helping with small things like the buildup of lactic acid. Likewise, when he'd been practicing precision and focus, the most difficult aspect of his Alice usage, there was nothing to take the edge off the strain. He _really_ hoped, even if it was already burnt out, next time he went to the hospital it could be charged. Normally, Persona might have allowed him to rest and recover in between, but this prolonged use of Alice, Natsume could tell, was his final punishment: Forcing him to use his fire that slowly destroyed his life. By the end of the class, Natsume was on his knees coughing and hacking and choking, spitting up blood.

Youichi was so stressed and disturbed by the sight of his adopted 'big brother' gagging on his own plasma, he came up and wrapped his chubby arms around Natsume's torso and rubbed his back. Everyone else in the class left, besides Persona who sat at a desk sorting through papers. Tears pricked the back of Natsume's eyes, and he squeezed them shut. He was supposed to be helping the little guy. He was supposed to be the one to worry, not the other way around! Who was he kidding though? Lucas, Aoi, Youichi...he was never able to help anyone. He never succeeded. There was just this half-in-between, where he spares them, but cannot save them. It was like there was a prize dangled right in front of him, and he thinks, and he thinks, and he thinks he can reach it, but the truth is it's just a lure to trap him. Does any of this matter?

"It'll be okay, Ni-Chan."

He looked down at the little boy. Did he really need him? He'd have others to look out for him. Was Natsume doing any appreciable good? He wasn't sure, but how could he leave his sister? How could he not try? His sister…

"I'm okay, You." He reassured the tyke. "The worst has passed now." He stood up, and Youichi remained close as if afraid to let Natsume out of his sight.

"Let's go get our allowance from Persona, okay?"

A nod.

Natsume walked up to the front of the class where the desk was located and stood. He would not grovel. After a bit of shuffling, the Mask pulled out two envelopes: One for Youichi and one for him. Every third Saturday of the month, the children of Alice Academy received in an envelope a cheque based upon their star class. Natsume hated the obscene amount he received. It was nothing short of a bribe paid in blood money, but what mattered to him was the photo accompanying it. Natsume tore the envelope open, hoping not to look too eager, (although why did it matter? they had him by the balls anyway). There lay a new picture of Aoi. Proof that she was still alive: A little bigger, a little older, and above all else, healthy and alive. Natsume felt like his breathing had eased. Yes, at least she was alive.

"Let's go." He told Youichi, and Natsume walked out with the toddler and didn't look back. Persona said and did nothing either way.

Natsume brought Youichi back to Class B with him when it became clear the toddler was not going to take a separation so soon after a disastrous coughing fit, and sat with the child in his lap, his head in his hand, despondently waiting for Lucas to return from his own Alice training.

Around him a few other students had made it back and were talking amongst themselves. Natsume estimated it would be another five more minutes before Lucas would be able to return given where his class was situated. Then the three of them could get out of here. Perhaps Lucas could get some of his animal friends to play with Youichi and take the poor kid's mind off things.

The door swung open and Natsume looked over his shoulder and almost audibly groaned. Polka Dots, Imai, and Class Rep were making a beeline towards them. Why? Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Couldn't they tell he was just too tired for all their drama? He's not interested? What even gave the impression that he was?

"Would you please, please go to Central Town with me?" The Idiot asked him as she got down on her knees in the position of pleading and utmost humility. Tobita joined her looking far more apprehensive. Behind them, Imai was sucking on a lollipop looking to all the world like she was enjoying the hell out of a comedy TV show.

"What is going on?" Natsume whispered out of the corner of his mouth, as Lucas walked up to him. He must have come in just after the Freak Show.

"Apparently, Jinno told her she was too untrustworthy to be allowed to go to Central Town, but Narumi was able to convince him, when Sakura begged him to take her side, that she could go if, ah, her partner goes with her." Lucas looked like he was trying not to laugh.

Natsume raised an eyebrow. No way in fucking hell.

Mikan continued her pleading on the floor.

Someone wolf-whistled from across the classroom. "Looks like the no-star's asking Natsume on a date!"

"I am not!" She shouted back in their general direction and glared before turning back to him, "but, still, would you pretty please go with me?"

It occurred to Natsume what frustrated him the most about her wasn't even that she refused to be intimidated by him in the long term, (because she was clearly a monumental fool), but that she kept putting him in the spotlight, in unfamiliar territory. He hated being put on the spot like this. He hated being in the centre of attention like this. It was beyond uncomfortable.

"Why would I associate with the likes of you?" He stared at her like she was scum on the bottom of his shoe. Youichi tugged at his shirt to get his attention.

"Wait, who is that kid?!" Mikan stood up and exclaimed.

"He's Hijiri Youichi," Lucas explained. "He's from Class A and he latches on to Natsume. Sometimes he comes to Class B to play." Now there was a censored explanation. Natsume looked out the window with a bored expression.

"What a weird kid." Imai said dryly.

"Well, he's in the same Dangerous Ability Class as Natsume, so he sort of keeps an eye out for him…"

Polka and Shouda were ignoring the side conversation.

"Awwww, you're name is You-chan?" Mikan asked in a higher-pitched baby voice. "Come over here."

"You shouldn't do that: Go near people like her." Shouda countered. "Come to your big sis..."

This was too much crap for anyone to endure.

"Uglies."

"Ugwies." You-chan repeated.

"Get out of here monkey creatures."

"Ged out of here monkey cweatures."

Shouda muttered something about Natsume being Natsume, but Mikan, of course, had Strong Opinions.

"What kind of example are you setting for such an impressionable child? You shouldn't hang around with him, Youichi, he's a bad influence." She shook her head, and Youichi looked as offended on his behalf as it was possible for a child to be. A strand of his hair flicked up over his forehead in warning and malevolent spirits started chasing Mikan all over the classroom.

"Ay, yes, did I forget to mention?" Lucas put in. "He has the Evil Spirit Manipulation Alice…"

Natsume rubbed a hand through Youichi's hair and smiled slightly at him. What a great kid. So when Mikan finally caved to the assault, and Youichi tugged on Natsume's shirt again, and whispered about Central Town, he found himself giving in. Well if the kid really wanted to go...

Fine.

"We'll all go to Central Town." Natsume proclaimed. "But you-" he glared down at Mikan, "have to be our servant the entire bus rid there."

She stood up shakily. "Deal."

Youichi and the class had great fun with it. Getting her to give them feet massages, and neck massages, and ice cream cones, and the like, but Natsume took no part in it. He felt unable to muster the energy to join in the excitement of receiving one's allowance and going to Town. It all seemed so...grey. When Youichi felt secure enough to switch his arms for Lucas's to go get some Howalon, Natsume found himself wandering off to be alone, away from all the pretence, the bustle, the fight, the dreams, the goals, the ambitions, of which he had none, because his focus was on the survival of people he loved. He'd didn't have the spare energy for anything else. He felt like he was trying to run forward on a treadmill, and he was so tired he would soon slide off backwards.

Turning a corner, Natsume saw a little accessory shop with small hair clips and accessories. In the front window there was a small barrett with a dainty flower on it. Natsume couldn't help but think Aoi would have loved it. She would have been so excited to have been here. Aoi wasn't like him. She'd been a cheerful, innocent sort. He and his father had gone out of their way to at least try and keep her childhood happy. Wherever she was now, was she still smiling? He went inside, bought the clip, and put it in his pocket. Maybe someday he'd be able to give it to her, or Lucas would on his behalf. That was rather more likely. He turned around and saw Youichi playing with his friend, feeding him Howalons. Somehow, he felt okay with that. It wasn't his first choice, but...he could trust Lucas when it came down to it, (and it would). Lucas would take care of his sister when he was gone, and now that Lucas had Polka Dots, and Youichi had Lucas, those nearest and dearest to him would be as fine as they could be in this hell-hole. They'd graduate, and get out, even if he was left behind. Mikan coming here had been a blessing in that one small regard. He was as ready as he could be to die, even if he hoped he might make it.

* * *

Bullets shot. Fire was thrown. Voices shouted. Chaos reigned everywhere. Natsume collapsed after returning to school. It was the evening of the next day. He'd been guarding the gates as one of the Elementary Principal's allies came in through the main entrance. He'd stopped the men; a bullet had grazed his side. His Alice had burned him out, and now there were lights flashing over his head. People were shouting over him. Doctors and nurses stared down at him, their faces stretching over him. Why were their necks so long? He felt cold, and white. White was everywhere. He couldn't breathe. He sucked, and gasped, and rattled for air. It stuck in his esophagus like a vacuum nozzle stopped by a hand. He as choking on coagulated blood. The air was trapped. He couldn't pull it in or out. This was it. This was finally it. It had come. He was dying. Black curtains pulled his vision closed.

It was over.


	6. Seeing the Light

**A/N:** Hello, all. I apologise this is so late. I'm afraid my personal life spun out of control. (The tip of the iceberg being my mom discovering the corpse of a colleague of ours in the bathroom...) Unfortunately, too, now that University is starting up again, for both me and my beta, I will not be able to even attempt regular weekly updates. I will be writing every time I can, (I love it too much not to), but I don't know how regular new chapters will come. On the bright side though, I have already written the next chapter, it's been betaed, and all that's left is the editing, so that should be up within the week! :D I hope you all enjoy this chap, it's one I've been looking forward to writing for some time.

 **Chapter 6: Seeing the Light**

When Natsume awoke in the early hours of the morning—the ones you would call night, but technically weren't—he panicked. Where was he? What happened? Why was everything so dark? He felt like there was a weight pressing down on him, crushing him into the bed. Then he remembered: The bullets whizzing, the shock, the fear. Perhaps he had never forgotten, and that's why waking in darkness had so terrified him, so upset him. It was the constant understanding he carried with him that he was dangling over the canyon of death. Sometimes the thought of letting go was tempting, no panic, no exhausting fight. Death would be, should be, a release from darkness. He felt slightly guilty thinking it. He didn't want to die; he just wanted to be free.

He sat up slightly and checked his surroundings, what little he could sense of them. There was a beep to his left from the machine monitoring his heart. There was an IV port in his arm, but fortunately it wasn't hooked up. He hated those. You could never move when wearing them, or the needles would pull at your arm, and bruise worse than they already had. It was double trouble if you were thrashing in a nightmare. He was also wearing a Johnny shirt. He hated those things too. Stumbling out of bed, he fumbled around in the drawer of the night table looking for pajamas of some kind. If he didn't have IVs in him, the nurses would usually let him get away with wearing them. He put them on quickly, grateful he didn't have to fight with buttons, and fell asleep again the moment his head hit the pillow. It was fortunate. He'd almost cried when he realised his healing Alice stone hadn't been there. Had he lost that too?

* * *

He was running in the dark. A long shadow cast behind him. He must be running towards the light, but he couldn't see it, couldn't find it. How can you see a shadow in the dark? Was it the ramifications of his actions left behind, chasing him, haunting him? No! It was from a spotlight. He could see it now. It was shining right on him, lighting him up. _Everyone_ could see him. Everyone could see _him_ , and nothing was hidden. It was worse than being naked. He ran and he ran, but the light wouldn't come off him. They could all see him, scrutinise him, know what he'd done, who he was. It was all revealed. He was a bug under a microscope of their judgement. Whispers followed him everywhere. He could hear every single one.

"Murderer."

 _Shut up! Go away!_

"Do you guys even know what the Dangerous Ability group does under the radar?"

 _Everyone, everyone just go away!_

"Natsume, this is a mission." He saw Persona's silhouette. "Don't try and get out of it. Should you try..." Persona stretched out his hand, and Natsume's heart raced in terror. He tried to move his legs, but he couldn't move, couldn't run. The only thing racing was his heart.

 _Aoi..._

His eyes shot open. He was breathing as if from heavy exertion. It was just a dream. How long was this nightmare going to chase after him? Was there an end to nightmares? Go to sleep and have them. Wake up and have them. Do enjoy your life! Natsume placed his forearm over his clammy forehead, and sighed. This wasn't looking to be a good day. He closed his eyes and rolled over, groaning as he did so. Fucking hell, everything ached.

* * *

His inauspicious start was vindicated when Shouda, (the sister), and Lucas came to visit. He was pleased to see Lucas, of course, it was good to see his friend after waking up alone in the dark. (Well, he was always that, but at least he wasn't _alone_ in the dark.) He didn't want Lucas to see him like this though, but then you never can have everything. Shouda, on the other hand, was not someone you wanted to see when you were sick. Frankly, she wasn't someone he felt he wanted to see ever.

"Natsume!" She shrieked when she saw him. It gave him a headache. "I was so, so worried when I heard you were in the hospital, but at least Mr. Narumi said I could visit you as a gesture of friendship." Natsume rolled his eyes. "Here, please accept these roses." She added giving him the bouquet.

"I don't want them." He grumbled, and threw them at her head. She looked a bit dismayed, and muttered something about boy will be boys, put them in a vase on his night table, and sat down with a distinct slump to her shoulders. He didn't feel guilty-really.

They started chatting. They meaning _they_ and not _him_. He got into a hacking fit as they were talking about Reo Mouri, the famous Hollywood singer, and alumni of Alice Academy. He was supposed to be visiting here today, to see about doing a show during the Alice Festival. Natsume couldn't really say he cared one way or another, but if Shouda was there, it meant Lucas wouldn't ask tough questions and he could just appreciate his presence. What's more, if she kept gabbing on like that, he wouldn't be expected to talk. He did not want to talk. He never did, and he generally preferred it when other people were willing to keep up their end of the conversation without expectations of him. He was glad when they left; he was sad that they went.

A knock came on the door not ten minutes later, as he was dozing again, which was rather odd. Normally, people just barged in here. Why care about the wants and needs of the Academy dog? Feeling a bit on edge, his suspicions aroused, he was about to tell them to enter when they came of their own accord. That was more like it, until he realised it was Reo and a couple of others-maybe bodyguards? His hair stood on end. Perhaps he should have paid more attention earlier. What was going on? Surely they weren't here to entertain him? This wasn't right, couldn't be right, unless it was meant to be patronising humiliation.

"Natsume," Reo said in a soothing voice, which was unsurprising given he had the Voice Pheromone Alice. "Calm down." Natsume felt himself doing so. What was he so worried about anyway? Reo was just paying him a visit is all. Did the whys really matter if they got to spend time together?

Reo walked up close and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. "I've wanted to meet you for quite some time. The infamous son of Kaoru Igarashi. I never worked with her personally, of course, but I knew her by reputation. I dare say you'll find we have a lot in common."

That was good, Natsume thought feeling dumbstruck, and he'd like to know more about his mother.

Reo sat on the bed, grabbed his arm and pushed him down. It felt like waking up, and Natsume started to struggle through the pheromone fog. It was no different than fighting Naru, really, but it was no use. He was weak. The moment he took a deep breath, he found the handkerchief over his nose, and the smell of chloroform was the last thing he knew before passing out.

* * *

When Natsume woke up, he could barely hold his eyes up. It was dark again, but beneath him was hard concrete; his hands were tied tightly behind his back, his feet were bound as well. Next to him he could hear movement, whispers, and grunts. With taxing effort exploding into a splitting headache, Natsume looked over. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw: The back of Polka's head as she tried to undo Shouda's bonds with her teeth. God, no, did they get kidnapped too? Of all the people to be stuck with _her_ , and the idiotic president of his idiotic fan club. He must have groaned out loud, because Sakura cried out,

"Permy, Permy!"

"Don't I keep telling you it's not Permy!"

"Natsume's awake."

"Really? Oh, Natsume, thank goodness! I wasn't sure what happened and I was so worried, so worried, so worried, so worried..."

Sakura was talking over Shouda's hysteria. He could see her lips moving, but the sound just washed over him. They were going to get him killed. They were going to get themselves killed. He was going to have to take charge as usual, and they weren't even trained.

He sat up and flinched away from the pain, as if it were a physical blow he could avoid. The funny thing about it was it ached from a place so deep within his body, it almost didn't hurt at all. He thought he could ignore it were it not for the rolling in his stomach that told him he needed to puke. Natsume almost wished he could. He knew from experience sometimes up-chucking made it feel better, if only for a short while. Then he could lie down on the cold floor and let the breeze on his sweat cool him down. Unfortunately, that definitely wasn't an option. He needed to get his bearings. Where were they?

"It seems like this is a warehouse on the bay. It smells like the ocean."

Now that brought back memories. He inhaled deeply. His dad had brought Aoi and him to see the ocean once, just once, to honour their mother's memory. He said Kaoru would have wanted them to see it. Alices weren't supposed to go anywhere near the ocean, at least not without government approval and protection. It was believed it would give foreign powers, or terrorist factions, an opportunity to grab them. Basking in the rebellion of being there without all that, Natsume had long associated the sound of waves, (which he'd never heard in person again), and the smell of salt with freedom. Of course, now he had the uncomfortable feeling that, just this once, the government's concerns might be right, and the ocean was about to become a source of their damnation. He couldn't afford the errant memories, he reminded himself firmly. Useless reminiscing would only get him killed; he needed to focus. His sluggish thoughts were just a sign of his deteriorated state. _Focus. How do we get out of here?_

"There are two exits out of the warehouse." Shouda confirmed. Natsume was pleased she'd had the presence of mind to know that. "But one is blocked by luggage. I tried to use my Alice to get a scope of the environment around outside the warehouse, but for some reason it just wouldn't work." Natsume laid back down, unable to hold himself up anymore, and closed his eyes as she continued. "I think one of Reo's group probably is a Barrier Alice who can block our abilities. If that's the case, there's probably a barrier around the entire warehouse. We can't even use our Alices, and if, thanks to the barrier, the Academy can't find here, we have to find some way to escape before the smuggling boat comes."

The smuggling boat...God he hated being right.

"Ouch!" Permy complained as Sakura kept digging into the ropes around her wrists with her teeth. She'd been complaining for a while, maybe she should try getting Polka's ropes off? Perhaps...wait…

"Hey, idiot!"

"Don't call me idiot!"

"Hey, you, those pandas on your ears, what are they?"

"Huh, at a time like this…." Sakura muttered angrily at him. "These are "communication earmuffs" I got from Hotaru…." She trailed off.

Yeah, she _definitely_ was an idiot.

"Have you tried turning them on?" He drawled.

"Uh, no." She looked sheepish. "I'll just turn them on now."

Behind her Permy rolled her eyes in disdain.

Mikan flicked the switch and brought the mike down to her mouth.

"Hotaru, Hotaru, is that you?"

"Yes, this is Hotaru." He heard the reply faintly. "Mikan, I see you finally turned the switch on." God, he loved sarcasm, but why did they have communication earmuffs in the first place? Then it became clear...Permy had been in the hospital to visit him. They must have chased after when he was kidnapped...It was pretty clear, he'd been Reo's primary, if not only target...He would have felt grateful, even touched, if it didn't just mean more variables he had to handle.

"Miss Imai!" He heard Naru shout in the background. "You got in contact with them!"

"For some reason, the peanut gallery is a bit loud, so I'll switch you over. " Imai continued without a hitch. "But more importantly, are you alright?"

"Yeah, we're tied up but we're fine."

"Good, I'm switching."

"Hello? Mikan? It's me. Can you hear me?"

"Mr. Narumi!" Mikan choked up a bit. "Teacher…"

"I've heard most of the story from Miss Imai. It must have been a difficult ordeal. Are all three of you unharmed?"

"You know what? You know what? We're in some kind of warehouse somewhere." Sakura blurted out. He was glad she'd at least had the sense to focus on where they were, and things that could help them. She'd already confirmed with Imai their physical status. "Oh! But Natsume's condition is still pretty bad." He hated her.

"We're pretending to be be unconscious, and we're still tied up with rope." Permy put in her two cents.

"On top of that, there's something like a barrier put up around here, so we can't use our Alices. Also, also," Sakura continued, stumbling over her words in her haste and adrenaline.

"Keep your voice quiet, really quiet!" Narumi directed. "Mikan, talking out loud is dangerous so from here on just listen silently. All three of you should continue pretending to be unconscious. Keep your mike switched on so we can hear your situation over there over here. About the ropes around your feet and hands, while we're trying to pinpoint your position, try, under your own power, to tear or untie them. If that's impossible, this isn't a really good plan, but have Natsume push himself to burn the ropes. It'll be a huge stress on his already taxed body, but...it only needs to be small flame. If it's too big the barrier will quiver, and the enemy will be on to you. If Natsume uses his full power, the barrier should collapse."

Natsume had started to burn his ropes off from the first word. He knew there was no other way they were going to be able to get it off. They'd already been trying the other way to no avail. He groaned as the backlash of the barrier rippled through his body, flaying it apart.

"After you've slipped your ropes, continue your pretense of being tied up, until you've got an absolute chance of escaping."

He was legit surprised Narumi was talking sense for once. He seemed to know exactly what he was talking about. Wow! Natsume grunted, rolled over, and started undoing Sakura's ropes. She gasped in surprise. He stayed focused with single-minded attention that was about the only thing keeping him from giving in to blacking out.

"Also, there are two very important things, so listen close. The first is, as much as is possible, don't enlighten the enemy to your Alices. If the enemy knows your Alices, it will be easier for them to defend against them, and will put us at a significant disadvantage."

He got her ropes off and rolled over onto his back again, trying to breath. Polka started on Permy's ropes.

"Hurry up and untie them!" She barked out, and Natsume realised Polka was staring at him looking concerned. He was fine. She should focus on other things.

"...whatever happens, you can't listen to Reo's voice. If you listen…"

A hand shot out and ripped the earmuffs off Mikan's head. Fuck, it was Reo.

"I see. So these were a communication device."

Sweat poured down Natsume's face, and he was panting as he raised an arm, ultimately laying it down on his chest. He felt like his bones were made of lead and his flesh of rubber. He was heavy and floppy and just couldn't seem to move. Reo must have noticed the gesture, because he turned to face him. His eyes were red like Natsume's, maybe a shade lighter, and they looked demonic. Idly Natsume wondered if he looked quite so menacing and inhuman to people too.

"To be in such a weakened state, and still be able to sway Shidou's barrier, you really are beast. Still," he lifted the mike up so the Academy personnel could hear him, "with the damage you received from the backlash there shouldn't be any significant power or strength left in you." He smiled at the mike and looked away from Natsume. "It's been a long time Mr. Narumi."

"Reo…" Came the aghast reply. Natsume couldn't believe they knew each other. It made sense they might have crossed paths-almost all Alices ended up at the Academy eventually, and they would have been in the same ability group too-but the tone in Narumi's voice spoke of a familiarity that went beyond that, and it freaked Natsume out.

"I apologise for up and taking custody of your precious students, Senpai, but I'm afraid the day I return them to you won't come." He stuck his tongue out. "Ever." For all his joviality, his tone sounded harsh as ice.

"Reo...Why would you be in Z?"

"Are you surprised?" Reo chuckled cruelly. "But then, I'm surprised on my end too. Why would a person like you settle for being the Principal's dog? Of the two of us, I thought you would have been a person of this side. "

"Re-" Whatever Narumi was going to say, it was cut of as Reo chucked the ear muffs to the ground, breaking them. "Anyways," he said drawing the word out, as his lackeys started making suggestions.

"Shall we tie them up again?"

"No, it's okay. Shidou, weaken the barrier only in this location."

"Mr. Reo, that's…"

"It's fine. We have to teach them," he continued as he loosened a stud earring that must have been helping keep his Alice in check, "even if they aren't tied up with rope, they can't resist." He walked up to them and started talking, imbuing his words with his Alice in a way that was soothing, attractive, and utterly overwhelming. "You might already know, but my Alice is the voice pheromone Alice, and is usually controlled by this restraint piercing so you don't notice. For the organization, I mainly use this Alice for brainwashing." He smiled down at them maliciously, seemingly enjoying his sense of utter control. "What is your Alice?"

Permy flushed a deep red, and Natsume recognised the signs of being influenced by a pheremonal-type Alice, he'd built up something of a slight resistance, but she'd likely never been exposed in the same way.

"I a..huh...predisposition…"

"Permy!" Sakura shouted. "Cover your ears!"

Shit, Polka Dots was decidedly unaffected. He couldn't let Reo notice that, not just for her sake either; a nullification Alice was both rare and useful.

"You can't tell him!"

Natsume fumbled around for a distraction and threw a couple of screws that had been lying on the floor in Reo's direction. The bastard's neck snapped, and the penetrating red-eyed stare honed in on him.

"Well...There was still some strength left to resist. Just now, was that intended to protect these two?"

Natsume's eyes met his, glare to glare: Beast vs. beast. He grit his teeth against the pain, and to bite his tongue.

"Well, as you wish, I'll change targets." Reo knelt down on one knee and grabbed Natsume by his right arm, pulling him up into his face where he would be closer to that voice. Natsume couldn't resist him. He wasn't strong enough. "I was just thinking that it would be preferable to make you harmless with my Alice and pass you over to the Boss."

"Natsume!" He vaguely heard Mikan crying out.

"At any rate, there's no longer any way you lot are going to be able to escape. Those two," he glanced at Shouda and Sakura, "are to be sold." Then he stared back at Natsume intently, smiling maliciously. "You will be welcomed into our organization."

No! He couldn't! He didn't want to! He didn't want to be like them! And Aoi. Aoi! Just shut up! Be quiet! Go away!

...But he was helpless. The voice was getting to him.

"There's nothing good in resisting. Even if you get out of here without harm, you'll be at the Academy, surrounded by the shadow of Big Brother's watch, doing dirty work again. Your specialty, right?"

God, if that wasn't true, and he hated it.

"If that's the case, then what's the difference in joining Z? Z is full of people like you who hate the Academy."

 _Think of Lucas. Think of Aoi. (It sounds so reasonable…)_

"For you, wouldn't that be-"

 _She needs you. (More than they do; more than anyone.)_

 _Fight it. Fight it. Fight it. (She's helpless)._

He couldn't. _(You're helpless.)_

"STOP IT!" Someone's yell broke through the haze. Natsume fell back on his elbows as Mikan bodily forced herself between him and Reo, pushing the latter away onto the floor, and breaking the contact between them. He didn't know if she was doing it deliberately, but her Alice was shielding him, and slowly liberating his mind. Reo looked gobsmacked. He wasn't the only one she had that effect on then.

"Mr. Reo, this brat…" Someone muttered in the background, and Natsume felt a finger of foreboding ghost down his spine giving him shivers.

"Saying such arrogant things on and on right from the start! Why should Natsume have to go with the likes of you?!"

"Hey, she's…" The mutterings were continuing.

"She listened to all that of Mr. Reo's voice, why is she so unaffected?"

Mikan looked shocked like she realised only now what she'd just done, which confirmed to Natsume that she'd been using her Alice only reflexively and not deliberately. He and Permy were still struggling to come back to their right minds as they wobbled up into a proper sitting position. Damn it. It wasn't that he was ungrateful exactly, although he was loathe to owe her one, but now they were really going to have to act quickly.

Reo stood up shakily from where he'd been sitting on his ass, and asked full Voice,

"Are you a Nullification?"

Well...bugger. Natsume had hoped they wouldn't piece it together so fast, the Alice was unusual, after all...but Naru had recognised it too, and Reo and Naru knew each other, and Jinno and Naru had said there was a Nullification Alice before so...Maybe it wasn't so shocking, even if he didn't know where the pieces all fit. It was like trying to identify a picture that had blurred.

"Huh, what? What are you talking about? I'm…" It was obvious she was lying.

Reo lunged forward and grabbed her by the chin lifting her up to get a closer look. He seemed to be analysing her face; for what was anyone's guess.

"This face," he mumbled to himself almost reverently, "it's not without resemblance to her."

Her? Who was her?

Reo stood abruptly and turned to fire off some more orders. "Hey, look up the data right now, everything from before about ten years ago; I want it all thoroughly brought to light. It looks like it's going to become something interesting. Apart from the 'Black Cat,' this could turn out to be an unimagined bounty." He chuckled again. Oh, they definitely needed to get out of here.

"Oy, Permy." He whispered to the girl who still looked a bit dazed from hearing Reo continue to speak. "Don't faint."

"Na-Natsume, I'm not Permy…" She laughed nervously.

"Right now, the barrier's still weakened. Use your Alice. What's nearby here?"

"Um, wait a sec…"

She focussed using her enhanced cat-dog senses.

"I don't sense any people. To the South, two warehouses? down, I smell a lot of chemicals and explosives. Dynamite…?"

Excellent, that would work, but Reo and his gang wouldn't remain distracted for long.

"You guys."

"Um.."

"Hm?"

"When I give you the sign, with all your might, sprint towards that door." He pointed to the exit on the left: The only unblocked, unguarded exit.

Permy and Polka Dots both looked at him in surprise.

"If you're going to escape, there's only now while they're still distracted."

"Wait, what do you intend to do?"

"Once you've run, don't you dare stop. Whoever can escape without incident needs to tell the Academy our location."

He panted simply getting the sentences out. Either his heart was failing fast, or his bronchitis had reached new heights...or both. Simple fact was, he wasn't getting out of here alive. He knew very well what he had to do, but he wasn't going to tell them that.

"Wait, you...are in no physical state to run." Dammit, why couldn't Polka just listen to him for once? He grit his teeth and spat out.

"You two are in the way! You followed me all the way here of your own accord, and I _overwhelmingly_ want to leave you behind, but oddly enough, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if you got sold, so get ready…

"GO!"

They booked it towards the exit, as the goons fell over themselves in surprise and started shouting wildly. Natsume gathered his remnants of strength and stood up rapidly, leaning against the wall for support.

"DON'T MOVE!" He directed them. "If you move even a bit, I'll set fire to the dynamite nearby. If I do that, won't this place become a sea of fire in a moment?"

Reo stood up and placed a hand on his hip condescendingly. He looked like he was trying desperately to seem in control of a situation that had gotten quickly out of hand.

"Yeah, right. What are you talking about? Like you have the strength to set fire in a warehouse such a distance from here."

"Oh, but I do." He glared at them, ceased to lean against the wall, making sure not to show he felt wobbly on his bare feet, and lit a fire in his palm. "If you want, shall I test it?"

He looked out of the corner of his eye, and the idiot girls were still there.

"Go!"

"Natsume…" Permy mumbled.

"HURRY UP AND GO!" Did they _want_ to die here? Fucking liabilities.

This time they listened: Good.

"Mr. Reo…"

"As soon as you have an opening to them, capture those two with your teleportation."

"Affirmative."

Natsume didn't worry about what he'd made out of that conversation. He knew none of them were getting out. _He_ wasn't getting out, and he was taking them with him, ensuring Shouda and Sakura made it through. He'd wondered when this day would come. He'd often pondered how he would die, or rather, he'd always known the how of it: He'd die by his Alice. The question was whether it would be deliberately, or not. Now he knew. He took an odd sort of strength in the knowledge.

"You are to swear to me, Natsume, if you should get captured by the enemy, and all chances to escape have passed, you will take your own life." That is what Persona had told him when he was nine years old, and he had knelt before him as bidden, like a knight before a lord: a perverted mockery. "If you should give your power to the enemy, and place this Academy in jeopardy, you know what will happen to those people you value, don't you? Don't you, Natsume?"

Yeah, he knew. Besides, he wasn't joining an organisation that dealt in human trafficking anyway. They were all, including him, going knowledge was liberating in the lack of fear of the unknown. He would be in control of this one final thing, because he _knew_. He didn't have to fight the inevitable on top of everything else. The big moment was here. He just had to face it on his own terms.

"If this continues, it'll be a stalemate forever. Well, it's really just a question of waiting until your strength and will break. Still, even if you used yourself as a shield to help those two escape, it's nothing but a wasted effort. Do you think that we'd let those two escape so easily? Especially that little pig-tailed girl.. I just got in touch with the organization, sooner or later, those two will be caught by our own, and brought right back here. If you start an explosion, it's not guaranteed those two will be okay. In any case, before you turn this place into a 'sea of fire' do you even have a reason to want to go back to a place like that?"

Yeah, his sister. Not that he was telling this bastard anything. Honestly, did he think anyone would _choose_ to live like this, so low and subservient they ate dust? Having your head forced down to drown in a swamp of humiliation? As if there wasn't a boot on his back, and a hand at the back of his head forcing him into filth. Unable to completely protect even one thing properly. Unable to guard even one person you cherish. Neither they, nor the Academy knew anything, anything. They were each just as bad as the other. Damn them all to the deepest pit of hell.

"If you would just come quietly with us, we'll even reconsider the treatment of those two."

He could have laughed but he didn't have it in him. They wanted to take down Kuonji? They sounded like Kuonji! Just do as we tell you, and your friends and family will be safe, yeah right. He couldn't burn Kuonji alive, but he would burn them.

"You said earlier, that sooner or later those two will be caught." He walked towards them lighting little fires around their feet to get them to move backwards in fear. He thrilled at it. Finally, being the one in control, the one in charge, the one calling the shots. Finally, being able to have some semblance of a say in what was going to happen. Finally, not caring that using his Alice was killing him. He was already dead so he could enjoy it: This sensation of power. He stood in front of the door blocking their escape. "By now, they should likely have gotten at least a little bit of distance without being caught. If I ignite now, only we'll get blown up. It'll suffice that this won't be a 'wasted effort.'" He wasn't going to die in vain, and now more than ever, he knew that Lucas would be all right. Lucas wouldn't be alone. What's more, he knew he could trust Lucas not to forget his sister, even to take care of Youichi. Lucas's friendship was his final strength and comfort: knowing he could trust him and that he'd be alright. If Natsume had to die, this was the best way and moment to do it. He breathed in, drew in on his Alice reaching out to detonate-

"STOP!" He turned around to the voice behind him. He could have sworn that was Polka Dots' voice. It barely had time to register, as she tackled him to the floor, the shock doused his flame, and grabbed him by his collar and shook him furiously. "YOU IDIOT! DO YOU WANT TO DIE! WHY ARE YOU SERIOUSLY PLANNING TO START A FIRE! WAKE UP, MORON!" Natsume gazed up at her angry face, and recognised in it the same anger he'd seen in Lucas before, the anger that stems from the fear that you just lost someone important...but he wasn't important, least of all to her, especially to her. He didn't understand. Nothing made sense. He felt like his world was upside down.

"RELAX YOUR MUSCLES!" Reo shouted, and Natsume slumped against Mikan.

"Natsume," she gasped as she caught him wrapping her arm around his shoulder in surprising tenderness and protectiveness. In spite of himself, Natsume felt warmed, almost safe if he couldn't hear Reo's footsteps approaching.

"You fool. Thanks to you coming back, all his efforts just went down the drain."

Reo had hit the nail on the dead. Dammit, why had she done that? He asked her and her response was disarmingly simple.

"Because I was worried about you."

"Idiot." He mumbled, but the insult was less cutting than normal. He was too tired to be angry. He couldn't believe she'd come back. Why in Hell had she been worried about him? Admittedly she didn't know who he was, and what he did or why...but...she knew his reputation, (which was arguably far worse), knew what he'd done to her: Assaulted her, bullied her, mistreated her, what in Hell was there to worry about in him? He was nothing-to her, or pretty much anyone.

She lifted her hand though, the one that rested on his shoulder as his face slumped into the crook of her neck, and ran her fingers through his hair. Natsume closed his eyes unwittingly. When was the last time anyone had touched him tenderly like this? He'd spent so long looking out for everyone else he couldn't even remember. At best Lucas tended to his wounds, shoved him affectionately, but Natsume couldn't remember the last time he'd let anyone this close. He had to be strong, but now he was too weak to be. It felt oddly nice, and he was tired of the fight, so he allowed it: Her fingers through his hair, like someone actually cared, like for a moment he didn't have to be tough as nails. He basked in the moment knowing it could never last forever.

"I can't leave you behind. You're my partner, aren't you?" She whispered into his ear.

Yes, he supposed he was. It wouldn't have meant much to anyone, but to this simple girl he guessed it did. He wished she would go. He didn't want her to die.

"Hey, what are these two runts whispering. Tie them up!" Reo ordered, but his men were on the floor too.

"We can't." They muttered. Reo's command had affected them too.

Sakura grabbed a handful of grit off the floor and threw it into Reo's eyes. He shouted and rubbed his eyes, and Sakura used the momentary distraction to sling Natsume's arm over her shoulder and drag him out. It was time to escape. The moment was over, but Natsume didn't know how he could even move.

He tried. He really did, but whatever moment of peace he had found earlier was long dead, and replaced by intense frustration and desperation. Sakura was huffing and puffing, mumbling under her breath about how heavy he was. She asked him to move faster, but it was all he could do to move his legs. He hated being dead weight, and that really was all he was. Soon it would be literal. Why wouldn't she just go and leave him behind so he could end this on his own terms?! The final straw came when he tripped and they went flying down some stairs into a dead end room with voices coming up quickly behind them.

"Oy, Polka Dots!" He heaved and panted. "Just leave."

"What?"

"If it's just one person, you'll definitely make it out of here." Especially with her Alice, but best not to mention that. "Just run!"

"Huh? What are you talking about? You're still so weak."

Rage flared up in him. How dare she?! He wasn't even sure what bothered him most. That she would call him weak? That she wouldn't leave him behind and he'd be responsible for one more life lost? That she screwed everything up for him in the first place? That he was even minutely touched by all that? All he knew was that he was pissed as all Hell, and she had to get herself out, before he had to live (and die) with that knowledge too. He wasn't worth that. He'd never been worth that. Why couldn't this stupid, idiotic girl do what she was told just once! In the back of his mind, he wondered if Lucas would forgive him if she died here for a hopeless, broken, lost cause. He was a failure and she was making it worse.

"Whatever! Just go, Ugly! Don't make me say it again!"

"How mean! No!"

"Can't you hear me telling you to go, Idiot!"

"Can't you hear me telling you I won't, Moron!"

They were in each other's faces now, and shouting loud enough to draw attention. Fortunately, the latter didn't matter at this point. Natsume drew in a breath to shout at her again, as if the mere volume of his voice would be able to get her to _listen to him_.

"I didn't think hard about coming back here. I was worried you were going to do something stupid! But it would be absurd to leave now. Lucas-hop, and Hotaru, and Mr. Narumi, and Permy too, we've all been working so hard to get you back."

Natsume stared slack jawed as he listened to her speak. What she was saying was so unexpected it sounded like some foreign language.

"And even if I ignored all that, I still couldn't just leave you behind now could I?...I have no idea how serious your situation is but-"

What did she know? Did she...know the truth of him? No, that wasn't possible. Only Lucas knew that, and he wouldn't have told. She must be talking about something else: His Alice maybe, his health. Oddly, the thought that she didn't know made him feel rather deflated. Maybe a part of him was tired of the secrets. No one knew him.

"Hey, go check under the stairs."

"Oy, do you hear that?" He forced the girl back into the moment, as he gave in to fatigue and lay down. It was all over. He wondered if he'd be choosing between her and Aoi when it came right down to it. It was the worse thought he'd had in as long as he could remember.

"I'll do what I can." She whispered back and went to grab a stick form the corner of the room. "I will go back to school." She said with a determined fire in her eyes. "There's still a lot of things I want to do...I haven't participated in the Alice Festival yet. No matter what we can't be captured by the bad guys! We just need to last long enough for Permy and the others to get help, and find us." Standing in front of him protectively at the foot of the stairs, she turned around, stick held tightly as a weapon in her hands, and stared down at him as if her faith were something tangible that could be transferred to him by force of will. "Shouldn't you do the same? Let's go home together. Back to the Academy."

He stared up at her in stupefied awe. The light from the top of the stairs flooded down on her making her glow in the darkness of the room, giving her the look of some form of guardian spirit. Natsume found himself entranced and unable to look away. She wasn't as simple as he'd thought. _She's amazing._ The thought crossed his mind before he could censor it.

"Everyone is waiting for us." She concluded and turned back to the staircase to keep her vigil.

Everyone. As if he was special. Would be missed. Would be important. Looking at her stand watch over him. He could almost believe it. He felt like there was a bubble in his chest. It took awhile for him to recognise it as joy, or perhaps it was hope.

Footsteps echoed. Someone was coming down the stairwell.

"Found 'em! Right here. Both of the brats are here!"

Mikan grasped the staff out in front of her and swung it across the head of the first man: The man who had found them. It was a good solid hit. She made to swing at the second guy, but he caught the staff before it could hit him and shoved her back with it, knocking her against the wall. She cried out in pain as her head slammed into the concrete, and she surely had a concussion given the glazed way she was looking at him, trying to speak his name. The man who had hit her grasped Natsume's arm and called out, "Caught 'em." but to Natsume it barely registered. All he could see was some girl who had turned around and come back to him, because she worried, because she cared, because she believed he was worth at least something, in spite of all the horrible things he'd done to her, (and he'd treated her worse than anyone), because she had faith in her friends, _their_ friends, and wanted everyone to live, and live well, because she was _innocent_. He looked at her brought so low, facing a life of slavery, and his entire body shook at the injustice of it all. He was eight years old again. His sister calling his name. He couldn't protect her. Fire raged everywhere, but he was useless, so useless. He couldn't get her out. How dare they lay a hand on her?!

"HOW DARE YOU!" He raged. He wouldn't let this happen to her. Not again. Never again. It had been a while since he'd been so consumed by passions, he lost control of his Alice, but afterwards he reasoned it didn't matter. She was a Nullification, it wouldn't hurt her. Death was better anyway. He'd lit the dynamite.

The warehouse blew. The dockyard was awash in a sea of fire. Somewhere he thought he heard a voice shouting his name. This time he was dead for sure.

She was worth that much though.

He hadn't even been thinking about Aoi.


	7. Changing Challenges

**Chapter 7: Changing Challenges**

It was days later when Natsume woke up. He couldn't help feeling it was getting a little old, this blacking out and waking up business, but at least he hadn't found himself in the dark this time.

"Natsume!"

"Lucas," he croaked, and swallowed. His voice was harsh from disuse.

"How are you feeling?" Lucas reached over and handed him a glass of water as Natsume pushed himself up on the hospital bed. _Like shit_ , he wanted to say, but stopped himself.

"I'm fine. How long was I out?"

Lucas swallowed nervously. "Five days." He spoke quietly.

Five days, that was probably the longest he'd ever been unconscious. No wonder Lucas seemed a bit concerned. He was too, not that he'd ever say so aloud.

"What happened?"

"After you blew out the warehouse, the barrier dropped, and we were able to find your position. We narrowed it down from Imai's tech, the teacher's divination Alice, and the birds I sent to chase after you guys."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Lucas smiled gently with a trace of amusement. "I thanked Shouda and Sakura for you too, so you won't have to mention it to them either."

Natsume rolled his eyes and left it at that. He wouldn't have thanked them anyway. For once, the thought left him feeling a bit bad.

"So, is Polka Dots alright?" He tried to sound nonchalant, although if pressed he couldn't have given you a reason for why he felt bashful.

"She had a bad concussion and was out for about three days. She's still on bed rest actually."

"It was that bad?"

"I guess, but most of the Healing Alices had to spend their time with you though so…"

"Hmm…" He said to avoid saying anything.

"Well, Shouda is thrilled to be the centre of attention. She managed to find a policeman, although he seemed a bit confused about the whole thing, and she ended up getting taken into protective custody."

Natsume snorted and then felt guilty...again! As frustrating as Shouda was, and however misguided her motivations, she had gone to help him.

"Also, Sakura has been promoted to a One Star now, so she's quite excited."

Natsume had the oddest feeling that "quite excited" translated to "acting like most people would if hopped on a double espresso," but kept his opinion to himself.

"That's about all the news here though. I've heard most of what happened from Sakura and Shouda, but what's really going on Natsume?"

"I got kidnapped."

This time it was Lucas who rolled his eyes. It looked strange on his face, like it was a learned expression. "Yeah, I know that...but why? Do you think it was planned?"

"No, I don't think so, but I can't be sure. Reo didn't really make it clear. If he's working for Z though, he must have had a reason for coming to the school. Scouting it out for something, I guess."

"But for what?"

"An attack?" Natsume concluded ruefully. "Why else would you scout enemy terrain?"

"Shit," Lucas whispered. He must have really been concerned to have sworn like that. Lucas was not as brusque as he was to say the very least.

"Could have been an assassination attempt that failed though, I suppose." Natsume tacked on to ease his friends' mind, but only after he spoke the words did he realise how very bad he was at this comforting thing: Time to change the subject.

"Reo seemed to know something about Sakura. He recognised her Alice instantly, said she resembled someone….a "her". He knew Naru too. They were friendly."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. He said he was surprised Naru hadn't joined Z."

"Seriously?!" Lucas repeated looking flabbergasted. Natsume couldn't blame him.

"I couldn't make this shit up if I tried."

"Why would Naru join an Anti-Academy group?"

"Fuck, if I know. He's always been a perverted bastard so far as I can tell. He fits right in around here."

"He could be being coerced like you."

"He could be, but I don't think so. He doesn't act like it. He's too...flamboyant. I dunno. He doesn't seem to be here against his will. I can't place my finger on it."

"I know; you're right. It's just so odd." Lucas paused, head tilted downwards in deep thought. "Naru was the one who said he felt a bit bad for Sakura's letters being burnt, you know."

"He's also the one who burnt them, and lied to her about it." Natsume reminded him curtly. "I say he's someone who hated the system until he benefited from it, and decided to stick around."

Lucas nodded, not skeptically, but still like he was willing to reserve judgement. Natsume sure as Hell wasn't. Fortunately, Lucas let that subject go.

"What about Sakura? He said she resembled someone?"

"Yeah, a 'her,' whoever that is. Maybe that girl from before who was killed?"

"Maybe...but wasn't the girl...a guy? Didn't Jinno say 'he'?"

"Can't remember, but Reo seemed to think it was really important. He practically wet his pants."

"Maybe…" Lucas trailed off looking excited, but a bit overwhelmed at his own train of thought. "Maybe we could look into it?"

"Look into it?"

"Yeah," Lucas's voice picked up in speed and his hands waved a bit in his excitement, "see which person had a nullification Alice, at least what...ten, eleven, maybe twelve years ago? We might find something out important. It's probably in the yearbook somewhere right?"

"Probably," Natsume hesitated.

"What?" Lucas picked up on it immediately looking rather put out. "You still don't want to know? After everything?"

"No. Just..be careful. There's something about all this that doesn't smell right, but, yeah, I think we need to know."

"Alright. I'll check then."

So passed the next two days he was required to stay in the hospital, although the conversations were somewhat less riveting. Youichi and Lucas visited frequently, and even Lift-Up, Permy, and Mind-Reader came a couple times. The worst of course was when Dr. Takayuki came to speak with him. It had been a short and useless session where Natsume had been informed that due to his aggressive use of Alice over the last couple weeks, he had now progressed into Stage 3 of his disease. His "increased cardiovascular stress," had lead to early "congestive heart failure," which would mean more exhaustion, more difficulty breathing, and more coughing up blood. Yay him. He could also look forward to things like kidney failure and arrhythmia. He'd spent most of the session staring blankly at the wall and wishing the doctor would go away and stop reminding him. It's not like he didn't know he was fucked. What did the details matter?

The session had concluded with the good doctor reminding Natsume about the nature of how Alices work: There were channels in the body through which the Alice, or Alices if the individual had more than one, went through before being released from the body in whatever capacity. The form of the Alice depends on the type of "channel." (This is why even owners of multiple Alices will only have one form of Alice.) Type four allows for an unlimited amount of Alice production, but the stress of it leads to physical damage on the body, as the Alice is pushed through. What's more is that because all Alice interaction through these channels causes stress to the system, a healing Alice _cannot_ be used to repair the damage to the Alice channels themselves, as it would just make the damage worse. Ergo, while Subaru Imai could heal his more superficial problems, could strengthen his internal organs, if Natsume really wanted to heal, he just had to _stop using his Alice_ for _six months or so_ , because every time he used his Alice the damage would rip through the still-taxed channels all over again until he healed properly, and only time and discipline could do that. Natsume had taken everything in him to cease from picking up the idiot doctor and throwing him across the room. DIDN'T THE FUCKING PRICK UNDERSTAND IF HE COULD HE WOULD?! HE DIDN'T HAVE A GODDAMN CHOICE! At least he'd gotten his Alice stone back. On the very last day of his hospital stay, he'd woken up to find it in his night table. This time he left a note that said thank you, and left it in the drawer, hoping whomever it was who had given it to his mother would find it, and understand.

* * *

It was only when he walked into classroom come Monday morning, shakily and with leaden eyes, that Natsume realised that while nothing had changed, he had. He didn't feel quite the same anymore. Something, and he couldn't say what it was, was different, and it quickly became apparent.

"Natsume!"

"Are you alright?

"How's your health?"

Everyone swarmed around him and he ignored them out of sheer exhaustion, if nothing else, when his reaction to the next words surprised him.

"That No-Star thinks she's all that for rescuing you. Shall we shut her up?"

He stood there and waited for the rage which didn't come.

"Good morning!" The girl in question shouted with a grin on her face like she was thrilled to see him, and he found himself merely turning around to walk away trying to figure out why it should affect him so much that she was alright, that she was smiling at him. After all, they had survived kidnapping together. It was normal enough.

"You're going to ignore her, Natsume?" The boy who wanted to shut her up asked incredulously and Natsume ignored _him_. He had lost all desire to mess Sakura around.

"Good morning." Lucas smiled at her shyly, and Natsume felt a twinge in his chest when she greeted him just as joyfully, perhaps even more so, than she'd greeted him rushing forward to hug his friend. Natsume shook it off. He knew he'd been jealous, but he'd accepted that Lucas was going to befriend her, probably ask her out when they got older. He'd already told his friend he was okay with it, and that he would treat Polka fairly, feeling like this about it was wholly unnecessary. The kidnapping incident had just proven how good it was that Lucas had friends other than him given his date of death was rapidly approaching. The problem was that this jealousy felt different. He couldn't peg how, nor was he given much opportunity to had he even been so inclined. The morning bell sounded, and Narumi walked into the classroom with a cheerful gait and a jaunty wave to greet his students before getting into the morning announcements.

"This last week before the Festival, we'll only have classes for the first two periods, and then we'll go to our respective Alice classes to prepare for the Festival."

Natsume observed him more closely than he'd ever had before wondering at Reo's words. Narumi's outfit wasn't as loud as usual, even if his blouse was oddly effeminate, but his hair was styled differently than normal in the form of a short braid at the back of his neck, as if to compensate for that. He seemed as jovial and fake as ever, but this time Natsume wondered if the "fake" wasn't merely for the sake of propping up a bogus school, but something else. He found himself far more uncertain than he liked. Narumi had a stud-earring in like Reo, but that was surely to subdue his Alice. He also wore a ring on his left ring finger, Natsume noticed intently. He'd never thought much of it, he'd always hated the teachers at the Academy on principal for condoning, or at least turning a blind eye to the abuses around them, but he knew Naru wasn't married, not to his knowledge anyway, so why wear what looked like a wedding ring? It could be an Alice restraint like the earring, but why wear it on that finger? Maybe, just maybe, mind you, Lucas was right, and someone Naru loved was being held hostage. Why though? What benefit was there in it? He'd never seen Naru on a mission. There was little sign the man went on them. It didn't mean he didn't, of course, but still. Perhaps he was needed to keep the kids in line? But Jinno could do that just as well. It simply didn't add up. The thing was though that while Natsume was under duress, he always failed to help Kuonji where it was possible. Naru, on the other hand, had let Mikan in, knowing what could happen to her, knowing about the nullifications Alice's dubious history when he could have just let her go, and spared her. No, Natsume concluded, Naru might be more than just a gay pervert, there might be more to the story, but the man was still an asshole. That hadn't changed, and the 'happiness' was just a thin, inadequate mask to cover his black heart. He was sure of it.

"Well then," the man in question finished, "those in my ability class, I'll see you soon!" He waved again and flounced out of the room, leaving nothing but unanswered questions in his wake.

Next to him, Lucas gathered up his books and nervously eyed the exit, as people started speculating on the musical the Somatic group was going to put on. Natsume knew he didn't want anyone to know he was Snow White.

"You'd better hurry." He tried to tease him, but his tone fell flat. He was too tired. Lucas looked worried. (He hated how he kept putting that expression on his face.) "I'll meet you in the woods after class then?"

"Yeah," Lucas looked around to make sure no one was listening in. "That's a good idea. I've got some interesting stuff to tell you. I'll see you then."

Natsume felt his heart race in anticipation and nodded. He had to get debriefed by Persona while everyone else was off having their fun, but he found he didn't care as much as he normally would've.

* * *

"So, did you find anything out?" Natsume sat down under a tree in the Northern Woods next to Lucas. They met here often as they figured they would be least likely to be disturbed there.

"No. Nothing that was really useful." Lucas shook his head as he stroked the wings of a bird he'd just been cooing to before whispering something and letting it go. Natsume watched it fly away in envy. Lucas sighed and looked over at him. "I looked through old yearbooks and school newspapers from about just before Sakura would have been conceived. I didn't find much. There was a nullification Alice, it seems he was an elementary school teacher for Class B-"

"Like Naru is now?" Natsume interrupted.

"Yeah, and he was also in charge of the Special Abilities class. I don't know what Jinno meant about a shameful and dishonourable death or whatever, but...they say he commited suicide and that's how he died. That could be what he was talking about or..."

"It could have been a cover up if he'd been murdered."

"Yes, that's what I thought too, but I don't know what he could have done to warrant it."

"All he had to do was get in Kuonji's way."

"True, I don't know how though, and there weren't any clues. I hadn't expected him to be a teacher...maybe that's why Jinno seemed to personally betrayed, especially if he crosed the principal. In any case, whoever Sakura resembles it's obviously not him. I mean, first he's a guy, but he also doesn't look all that much like her. He could be her father, I suppose, and she could favour her mother, but I can't figure on who her mother would be though. I looked through all the female teachers that year, and I'm sure none are Sakura's mother, and it's the same for all of the older students that graduated around then."

"Maybe her mother wasn't an Alice?"

"That wouldn't make sense though. How would Reo know her? When this guy-Izumi Yukihira was his name-died, Reo would have been about thirteen or fourteen years old."

"Unless he only met her recently, and that's why he didn't know she was pregnant? He told his lackeys to look up the data, so maybe she's a non-Alice sympathiser with Z, and wants revenge for her husband's or lover's or whatever's death? Maybe he was in with Z too and was a spy?"

"I hadn't thought of that. I suppose that's possible. Also, whoever "her" is, she could be an Alice who had already graduated."

Natsume huffed. "So, really, we don't know anything more than we already knew?"

"No, I guess not." Lucas hesitated slightly and added. "It's also possible that this Yukihira isn't her father at all. He could just be a distant uncle or cousin. Sakura doesn't know anything about Alices remember? She believes her parents are dead, and maybe they are. The Academy tends to keep an eye on families that are prone to Alices so if they knew Sakura is related to him, she'd have been found way sooner, but she never had to move from place to place to avoid the Academy the way you and Imai did, so they weren't looking. What's more is, I looked all throughout the records...I mean, it is a common name, but there's been no Sakura at the Academy anytime recently, so it's probably most likely that "her" is either Yukihira's, (or a relative's), non-Alice lover, because if there were a known Alice connection, they would have found her early, and Sakura didn't get his name, after all. I figure that's important."

"It doesn't help us much though."

"No," Lucas shook his head looking thoroughly disappointed. "It doesn't."

Natsume tried to look at the information from all angles, but while he was sure he was missing something vital, he couldn't figure out what. "I'm sure Yukihira must have been wrapped up with Z or something, because when I got debriefed by Persona about the Reo incident before I came over here, I asked about why Sakura was so intriguing to them. In fact, Persona even wanted to know how they reacted to her."

"And?"

"All he said was that the nullification Alice was a rare and useful Alice, and it wouldn't do for our enemies to get a hold of it."

"Well..he's not wrong," pointed out Lucas. "I've already said that having a nullification Alice on your side means you can get through the barrier around the school."

"That's true but…" but the way Persona had looked at him, and paused just slightly too long before speaking, the way he'd enunciated the word nullification so carefully...he was sure there was more to the story than just that Mikan had a "rare and useful Alice", and it seemed personal. "I just think there's far more to it than that. I dunno. The name Yukihira sounds familiar too, but I can't place where I heard it." He blew out a breath harshly. "I hate not knowing stuff. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop." Not knowing things meant being vulnerable and Natsume knew how devastating that could become.

"Is Persona upset with you for being kidnapped?"

"No, he's not. Lucky me," Natsume smiled with little mirth, and a bitter glint in his eyes. "He figures the problem was lax security measures, and that it's a good thing we found out now about Reo before there were any problems. He was supposed to be hosting a concert here after all. They also were able to get some information from the warehouse that might cripple Z, so actually, they're all quite thrilled." Natsume concluded with disdain. "Anyway, I'm not having to go on any missions until the end of the Festival anyway. They want me to wander around and keep an eye out on things, make sure no one tries to kill the Principal, and so I should be okay for a while."

"Good. That's good." Lucas looked relieved, and simultaneously upset that he was relieved by something like that. His shoulders were slumped in dismay, but also eased tension. "I wish I could do more to help you."

Natsume brought his knees up under his chin and wrapped his arms around them.. There was something he had to get off his chest.

"When I was captured. Things got really bad. I thought I'd have to die to avoid brainwashing, and I was about to. I-" He trailed off. How did he find the words to explain what knowing and trusting Lucas had meant to him in those moments? "What I'm trying to say is...I knew I could do it, because of you."

Lucas stared at him looking utterly incredulous, but somehow not in a good way. "I made you want to die."

"No!"

"I made you able to die?"

"Yes."

"This is a good thing?!" Lucas's voice was so high now it was almost audible only to his doggy friends.

"What I meant was that I had to do it, but I knew I didn't have to worry, because you'd...make sure everyone was okay." Fuck, maybe this was a bad idea. He was trying to make Lucas feel better, but really he was probably just putting an abominable pressure on him. Damn. 'You helped me have the strength to die', probably didn't sound right anyway, now that he thought about it. He always screwed these things up. "Never mind." He muttered and looked away.

"No!" Lucas placed a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. "I don't always understand what you're facing Natsume, and I'm sure you hide more than you should, but if I helped you in any way at all...then I'm really glad. I wouldn't change that."

Their eyes met and Natsume nodded. What had needed to be said had been said.

"Just don't give up hope, okay?" Lucas added plaintively. Or maybe not.

Natsume hesitated, but added, "I'll try not to."

* * *

It turned out that his promise might not be quite so difficult as he thought. Natsume walked into class the next day, and realized the simple truth that he was _calmer_ than he had been before his kidnapping. That hope might be easier to find than he thought, even if it manifested differently than he'd once imagined. By which he meant, that the bubble he'd felt in his chest at the warehouse had seemingly popped when he hadn't noticed, and diffused his body with a flickering and vulnerable warmth. His ever simmering rage and feeling of constant malaise had, if not subsided, become easier to manage. Small things that would have set him off before—like the idea that Mikan was bragging about 'rescuing him' yesterday—and would have thrown off his temper for days, became truly small things. They still bothered him, but...they seemed to have less power over him than usual. He didn't feel quite so inclined to lash out, burn someone's hair, kick the tables, and punch the walls, but the moment of recognition only came from his encounter with Polka Dots. Somehow this didn't surprise him. It was getting to be a pattern.

She'd sidled up to him the next morning. Her shoulders slumped in contrite submission and nervously asked him if, as her partner, he'd be willing to help her train her Alice. Everyone fled the immediate scene and stood on the fringes of the classroom to watch the show, but whatever they might have been expecting didn't happen, not the way they'd probably pictured it anyway.

"Could you please be my special nullification partner?" She wheedled. "Pretty, pretty please?"

"Really?" He leaned forward and questioned her intently, teasingly, though most of the class probably didn't recognise his sense of humour. "You're sure?"

"Please, it's impossible to train alone!"

"Well, okay then, see if you can nullify this." Natsume stood and placed his hands in his pockets nonchalantly, as he set fires all around her that inched closer and closer. She shrieked and tried to dodge them, but he made them chase her around the classroom. "And this, and this," he added lighting more flames all around.

"Wait, wait! Slow down!"

"You're the one who wanted special training, right?"

"Well… I guess I did ask for it…"

"You are totally asking for it."

Around them the class laughed and egged him on, and he found himself oddly amused. He was enjoying himself, he realised later with surprise. He kept his flames weak, and the strain didn't hurt him too much, (and what did it matter anyway if it did?). There was a certain satisfaction in being able to focus so intently on Mikan, and having her exclusive attention. Let it be known, he did _not_ take it easy on her.

Over the next six days, he and Mikan trained for hours while the rest of the students were at their ability classes. Occasionally others would join, while on break for instance, and Natsume found he rather resented the intrusions. It felt somewhat strange to not be spending his time alone, frustrated, bitter, and angry, possibly being forced into DA training sessions, while everyone else got to have fun. It was a refreshing change of pace. He brought Youichi over sometimes, and Mikan cheerfully included him in their fun, and tried to fight off evil spirits along with his fire. He enjoyed watching the rapport she and Youichi were coming to develop. One night Natsume lay down and right before he fell asleep, it occurred to him he felt somewhere close to happy, as happy as he could be in this place, and certainly happier than he'd been in a while. As such, when Lucas had come up to him and thanked him for helping Sakura, and giving her a fair chance, Natsume had grunted that it wasn't a problem, and had felt oddly guilty in doing so: It hadn't been his promise to Lucas that had driven him to meet her every morning. He'd just wanted to. The shock of the realisation almost toppled him. He'd only wanted to spend time with her.

It was this understanding that so depressed him. It would do him no good to get close to anyone, and while he could cover their training sessions as being an excuse to burn her, he wouldn't be able to maintain that. More than that, good things couldn't last, wouldn't last, he felt. This was stupid. It was time to nip this idiocy in the bud. His resolve was confirmed the following morning when he was brutally reminded his actions were constantly being monitored, and he no longer knew where all the minefields were. He waited at the foot of the stage where he would be seated with the other executive students and representatives, bait for Z if it came down to it. The student council president and vice president were late, and that was unusual. It made his hair stand on end. Where were they? Why weren't they here yet? His mind flashed through several worse-case scenarios, and when they approached behind him, he tensed further, and jumped, preparing for a fight, but all he saw were the perfectly pressed uniforms of Sakurano and the elder Imai. They looked as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on, but the atmosphere felt taut as an over-stretched elastic band.

"Ah, Hyuuga, good morning." Sakurano greeted with a smile. "We apologise for being late. I'm afraid we had to give directions to, and heal a lost student. It was your partner, actually."

"Hn."

"You don't think much of her then?" Imai stepped forward and asked. Natsume couldn't fathom what this interrogation was about, but knew better than to admit he liked anyone, (not that he liked her, mind you), and went with the ever-safe:

"She's obnoxious; as far as I'm concerned she's not my partner just because Naru said so."

"I see." Imai said simply, but Sakurano took up the thread of conversation and neatly delivered what Natsume surmised was something between a warning and a threat.

"If Narumi partnered the two of you together, it would be advisable to listen."

Then Sakurano, Imai, and their posse swarmed up the stage, and Natsume followed absent-mindedly. Why did they care about Mikan so much? What did that mean? Listen to Naru? About what? Why did it matter? Was that a warning to keep a close eye on her, incase there was a Z attack? Was that a warning to toe the line? Why would they want him close to anyone? He didn't know, and it aggravated him. Unless, it was a direct order from Kuonji though...he was inclined to go with his first instinct, and remain as ambivalent as possible to Mikan. He recalled he once thought Naru paired them together as a punishment to him, a humiliation. That was probably true. If he didn't rail against that now, it could cause problems. She didn't need a greater target on her back. He didn't need more people held against him. The opening ceremony passed in a blur, and he sat in his seat, neither paying attention, nor even caring if Z attacked. He didn't even recognise the ceremony as over until Mind-Reader tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, Natsume! Me and Fox-Eyes wanted to know if you'd like to wander around with us."

Natsume looked over and sure enough, Mind-Reader's bestfriend who resembled him so strongly except for the more slanted eyes was nodding along eagerly. Were they related, Natsume wondered? With resemblance that strong they probably were, most Alices intermarried, and many were at least distantly related...were that Yukihira person and Mikan..? No, that didn't matter, he reminded himself firmly. He shrugged his shoulders in lieu of a reply, and walked off with them.

"I can't find Lucas," Mind-Reader muttered. "There're too many minds around here, but Imai'll probably know!"

"Yeah," Fox-Eyes laughed. "How else could she get so many pictures?"

It turned out Imai's little invention shop was jam-packed. There were robots wandering around giving numbers to people and asking them to come back at a later time when the line was shorter, and others that fined people for "loitering." Imai was nothing if not cunning, and between both actions made her shop look even more interesting to potential customers, gaining more and more money whether people bought her stuff or not.

"How may I help you?" She asked when Mind-Reader finally got to the counter.

"I heard you have a 'people compass,' to help find someone in the crowd. We'd like one please!"

"That'll be 5,000 yen."

"Sure thing!" Mind-Reader grinned, plonked down the money, and zipped off. "Let's find Lucas."

"Oh, he's over there that way in the direction of the Special Division's Area." Fox-Eyes said when they'd finally figured out how to work the damn thing that involved wearing a penguin helmet with an antenna on your head, (because Imai was clearly a sadist who loved screwing with people.) "If I'd known he wasn't in the Somatic area…"

Natsume wasn't surprised. Of course, Lucas would have wandered off where Mikan was.

"Yeah, but it looks like the Specials are really busy this year, unlike other areas." Mind-Reader put in. "What? What?! You can make one of the Specials your slave? I'm gonna do it! But this is so freakin' hard! That's what most of their minds are saying anyway. Hey, Natsume, what the Specials are doing this year sounds pretty fun. Let's go." And that was that.

They found Lucas handing out tickets for the thirty minute wait time to what appeared to be a Middle-Eastern themed role-playing game of some sort by the time they arrived at the Special Abilities' area. Poor guy was dressed in pink and forced to wear bunny ears. He couldn't catch a break could he? Forced to parade around as a rabbit before the utter humiliation of Snow White. If he hadn't been having such a low day, it might have wrung a smile from him.

"Natsume, what are you doing here?"

"He's got rabbit ears." Fox-Eyes commented and Lucas blushed a deep red, that was made worse by his fair skin. Natsume stepped forwards and started to tug on one of them, and dammit if they didn't stick to his best friend's head. What were they stuck on with super-glue? There was just no helping him. Mind-Reader chortled and joined in, yanking on the other ear.

"Ah! Natsume, what brings you here?!" Shouda screamed.

 _Oh, brother, here comes the noisy girl._

"Oh, brother, here comes the noisy girl." Mind-Reader repeated to general amusement, but was either unheard or ignored by the girl in question.

"You must have known I was trapped here by the Special idiots and come to rescue me!" She exclaimed and went to throw her arms around him, but Natsume dodged her attack at the last moment, while the deeply offended "Special idiots" muttered that she'd been the one who'd volunteered to stay and help with crowd control, because she had "nothing better to do."

That was all it took for the mutterings to start.

"Is that Natsume?"

"What's he doing here?"

"Yeah...that's him, alright."

Natsume was about ready to walk away when Mikan climbed up over the wall of the set, (which was some form of palace), having heard all the mutterings. She, unlike most everyone else, did not seem upset to see him.

"Really? Natsume!? He is here!" She jumped down onto her feet. He saw she was wearing billowing pants, a scarf over her head, and a shirt that bared her midriff. "So, did you come to cheer us on?" She strode over to him looking very bubbly, and that was all Natsume took to know he'd made a severe mistake, a grave miscalculation. Whether it had involved throwing flames or not, he'd been accommodating of her, and that was letting her get ideas, which would make others get ideas. He did not need Kuonji holding more people over his head, really: Aoi and Lucas were enough, and with even the Student Council watching it seemed, he needed to be careful.

"What the Hell are you wearing?"

"Isn't it pretty?" She beamed.

He pulled the bikini like top out before he lost his nerve. "Where are your tits? It's flat."

That did it. Mikan shoved him away, and yelled, and screamed. Shouda wailed and asked him if he'd hit puberty. Fox-Eyes called him a 'man amongst men,' and everyone else concluded that he was the biggest prick to ever walk the Earth. The whispers got louder: It was business as usual. Natsume looked away from Mikan, unable to look her in the eye.

"Hey, stop fooling around! Get back to work!" A voice called out from behind. It was Tsubasa Andou. Natsume recognised him. Andou was a known rebel and trouble-maker, so much so Rui had been commanded to put a few curse marks on his face to keep him in line. He'd learned to toe the line by now though, and had all but one removed. It remained shaped like a star under his left cheekbone still able to cause pain on Rui's command if necessary. Natsume wasn't sure what to make of him. Should he respect him for his rebellious past? Resent him for giving in and getting caught so easily? Or rather for getting off easy? Andou was one of those rare few who didn't seem to hate him on principle either. He was a difficult person and one of those few people Natsume couldn't figure out if he liked or hated. He was inclined to respect him though. It was understood that at least one of those marks on his face he got defending his best-friend who was being used by the Academy and had an Alice that was of the life-threatening kind. He could get behind that. Andou, whatever he was, was someone he at least wouldn't mind sharing air with.

"Hey, Natsume." The middle-schooler greeted.

"Tsubasa-senpai," Mikan ran into his arms, all but climbed up him, and wrapped her arms and legs around him like she was a koala and he a tree. What the fuck?

"Ah, something tragic must have happened, huh?" Andou teased her, before looking up at Natsume. "Well? Did you come to try our RPG?"

Natsume didn't answer, but settled for glaring at this idiot. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Lucas doing the same.

"He's picking her up again," his friend muttered under his breath sounding very put-out. Natsume found he sympathised.

"Nope," Mind-Reader was the one who answered, "we came here looking for Lucas, but it looks like fun so maybe I should try it."

 _Hell, no._ "Let's go, Lucas." His friend hefted his bunny into his arms and turned to follow him throwing one last dirty look over at Tsubasa Andou who looked thoroughly confused. Mikan sobbed loudly again on his shoulder, and Andou wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, if that were possible. Natsume swore he saw red. That S.O.B. was being awfully handsy.

Mind-Reader dashed up seemingly oblivious as ever to the rising tension in the area. "It seems like so much fun, I bought a ticket for you too."

"Who would be hooked on such a foolish game," Natsume spat out. "I'm leaving."

"You should try our RPG game, since you're here might as well. It's addictive. If you played you'd definitely beat the game, right?" Tsubasa was smiling arrogantly down at him, with a challenge in his eyes that got Natsume's blood pounding.

"Fine," he muttered. He knew he was giving into the oldest trick in the book, but walking away and letting Tsubasa Andou, of all possible people, say he'd chickened was more than he thought he could bear. He'd show the cocky bastard. "What are the rules?"

"Basically, you are Aladdin and you have to get through the obstacles to defeat the maze and win your genie. Rule 1. No violence. If you hurt anyone in anyway, you'll be disqualified. 2. You will be given one weapon which you will pull at random from a box to assist you in the palace. 3. Use your weapon, Alice, and your wits to get through the obstacles the genies will set before you. 4. If you get all the way to the end, you'll be able to pick a lamp at random and the genie it belongs to will be your slave for the duration of the Festival. Sounds good?"

"Sounds simple." He replied. "Piece of cake."

He went and stuck his hand into the box of weapons provided and pulled out a mechanical cockroach. How this was supposed to be a weapon he didn't know, and didn't really care. If the Special Idiot Squad had anything that could top his years of experience as a Black Ops agent, he'd burn out his life right here, right now. He looked over his shoulder where the girl who had run back into life-threatening danger, and refused to leave him behind, was sticking her tongue out at him, and wishing him a miserable and humiliating failure. She had an arm wrapped around Andou's waist, and the pig had his arm wrapped around her shoulders. He glared fiercely, almost primally, at Andou and swore when he won this, he'd make that tool his slave. Serve him right being so touchy-feely all the damn time.

He entered into the castle prop shortly after Mind-Reader. Somewhere behind him a boy shouted,

"You saucy boy, fail the game!"

Well, then, wasn't that inspiring?

In front of him hung all down the hall on both sides were mirrors. Natsume paused wondering at their purpose when a girl darted out of one of them, and grabbed the roach out of his hand.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. "I succeeded in stealing it. Take it back from me within thirty seconds. Of course you're not allowed to hurt me, or break the mirrors." Of course, she felt the need to tack that last bit on. She was dealing with a murderous criminal after all…

She darted back into the mirror and hopped through the looking glasses taunting him all the while. She'd gotten to the count of two when she shrieked,

"What kind of thing did you bring?! I touched it! I can't believe this. Take it away!" She threw the roach back at him, and the little bug commented,

"She took me, and now she's saying things like that." The bug shook his head, antennae flapping. "Terrible."

Well...that was easy.

The next couple challenges were likewise ridiculous. There was a teen who could transfer his soul out of his body and into objects. You had to get him back into his body. Natsume sat beside him and lit an intensely hot fire. The body of the boy got dehydrated and his soul returned to him. He was told he was almost disqualified, but how was he supposed to tell how hot it was to other people, hm? He rolled his eyes. Next he had to write on a blackboard on the high ceiling the answer to an equation. The answer was 10. He burned it into the board with flames he shot into the air. The fools were flabbergasted, but, hey, who told him he had to use chalk? He rolled his eyes. This was a stroll in the park. People were actually struggling with this crap?

The next challenge was from Tsubasa Andou himself. The middle-schooler was lounging on a barrel.

"Hey! You've already made it here. So you are good."

Natsume's eyes narrowed. What? Was that meant to be an insult? Of course, he was good. There should be no room for skepticism on that point. Prick.

"Alright then," Andou casually hopped down onto his feet, as spotlights flicked on behind Natsume's back, "My test is touch me within 30 seconds, and you can go."

Seriously? There had to be a catch.

The bastard grinned. "But you can't move your feet."

He couldn't. He tried, but he was stuck. His heart rate sped up; he felt trapped, and more than that, it was like he was back in his dream, caught in the spotlight, trapped by the shadows, unable to flee, to even move. No, no, no, no, no, no! His vision blurred.

 _Shit. Focus! Here and now._

He took a swing at the smiling boy in front of him, but couldn't touch him. He was just out of reach. It did serve a useful purpose though. He noticed Andou kept stepping on his shadow. That's why the lights had flicked on behind him. The boy was a shadow tamer. Andou proved it when he used the shadows to make Natsume's arm curl over his head like a ballerina. If Natsume had loathed this guy before, it didn't compare to now, when he'd been stripped of his free will, and made to dance around for someone else's sorry amusement. He'd had enough of that shit. The bitter rage must have shown in his eyes, because Andou stopped immediately and held his hands up.

"Sorry, sorry, are you mad? I was just kidding. Don't be so serious."

Don't be so serious? Really? With his life? Fool, was getting awfully cocky. He did realise who he was dealing with right? Natsume lit flames between them erasing the shadows, and aimed a punch right at the teen's jaw. He relished in the shock and fear in the middle-schooler's eyes, but stopped just shy of a real punch, opting to tap him on the edge of the chin. He was not getting disqualified before he had the chance to get this boy as his slave for the rest of the Festival. No fucking way. He'd show him what it was about.

His next challenge, of course, of course, had to be Mikan.

"Ack," she shrieked. "Natsume! You're here already?!"

Once again, Natsume found he struggled to meet her eyes.

"Oh, it's you." He muttered and exhaled sharply. He'd been hoping he wouldn't have to face her. "Stop wasting my time and give me the damn quiz." Truthfully, he was feeling a little worn out, especially with all his recent Alice usage. Mikan sat up with her back ramrod straight on the suspended mat in front of him. (It was supposed to mimic a flying carpet, he assumed.)

"I'll give you your challenge then. Get me off this carpet in thirty seconds, without touching me and you'll win. Of course, using violence or breaking anything is forbidden."

Natsume sighed internally. There was the obligatory "no violence" speech again. Did he really seem like such an animal? The sad part was, Natsume wasn't entirely sure he wasn't.

"If you're thinking of using your Alice, it won't work. I'm much more powerful than before."

 _Blast, I shouldn't have helped her with those training drills._

Natsume found himself in a quandary. He honestly couldn't figure out how to do this, and the clock was ticking. He looked down at the cockroach in his hand. Well...it was worth a shot. She was excitable after all. He flicked the insect onto her chest, and was severely disappointed, (and very pleasantly impressed).

"Who do you think I am? I'm not afraid of roaches." She picked up the little bug and started crooning to it, completely ignoring him. It was awful. "Roachie, little sweetie. Oh, you have a long antenna." She definitely couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. How as he going to do this? He was out of options and this girl was singing and cuddling a cockroach. Of course, she even cared about cockroaches…

 _She even cares about cockroaches…_

Natsume slid down against the wall.

"Natsume?" She looked up, (finally), in concern.

He started wheezing. He wasn't really faking that much. It was the mask he usually showed the world that was fake.

"Hey, what are you getting at? Faking ill won't work." He didn't respond. "Natsume?"

He started coughing. Frankly, it was genuine.

"Natsume!" She shouted and jumped off the mat to help him. He slung an arm over her shoulder and dragged her down to his level.

"Idiot," he dragged the word out in a mocking tone. In truth, this desire to tease came less from a place of wanting to hurt her than it was the little bubble that seemed to have formed again in his chest. Even after what he'd just done...she'd cared enough to not even wait the extra five second and win, before checking up on him. He felt good.

He was the first winner of the RPG challenge, no surprises there; he was received to small applause from only Lucas and Mind-Reader, also no surprise. Natsume walked up to where the lamps were to pick one. Mikan was once again—terribly upset at being tricked—in Andou's arms. Lucas was eyeing the situation with distaste, but Natsume didn't care. Soon it wouldn't matter. He grabbed Mind-Reader by the shoulder and told him to read the shadow freak's mind, who immediately protested it wasn't fair.

 _Serves you right with your hands all over Mikan, asshole._

Mikan was with another girl trying to console the twit, but it wouldn't matter. She'd be free of him and his antics soon, and then they'd have some real "fun". Mind-Reader brought a lamp to him with an eager grin.

"This is the one?" He confirmed.

"Yes."

Natsume opened it high on anticipation. What was the worst thing he could make that controlling bastard do?

This lamp belongs to Mikan Sakura.

He read it again. _Wait! What?_

"Well," Mind-Reader said rubbing the back of his head. "Didn't you want me to choose Sakura's lamp?"

 _No, you fool! I wanted_ his.

"Oh, oops, you wanted that guy's!" He turned to look at Mikan who looked like she'd been handed a fate worse than death. "Sorry, I saw you in Natsume's mind so I assumed?"

Damn him. There would be no avoiding her now, when he so desperately needed to, when he had to sort himself out. He felt simultaneously terrified and thrilled. He could still feel warmth where he'd wrapped his arm around her.

He had the horrible feeling that Mind-Reader knew all of this, and had planned it all along.

Damn him.


	8. Terrifying

A/N: It's finally here! Sorry it had to take so long. Also, this only 2/3rds betaed so, hopefully, it's not a complete trainwreck of a chapter... I have the next one written up as well, and I will have that up Tuesday.

 **Chapter 8: Terrifying**

"I'm supposed to be going shopping with Hotaru and Pres this afternoon!" She wailed on her knees in front of him. He and Lucas had met Mikan outside the bathrooms where she'd gotten changed back into her uniform. He'd told her she'd be obliged to follow him around for the next week carrying his stuff. It had been the only thing he could think of. It's not like he could have her do the things he'd had planned for the shadow freak, the kindest of which might have been cleaning Natsume's toilet with Andou's own toothbrush, and making him brush his teeth with it afterwards. It's not like he could make it look like he was willingly hanging out with her anyway. "No. Please, have mercy!"

"She's useless. This is the only thing I can think of." Beside him Lucas looked very sad.

"Natsume, why don't you just let her go just for this afternoon?"

Mikan latched onto Lucas and clasped his hands, still on her knees, and looked up at him with stars in her eyes like he was her saviour. Natsume felt an odd churning in his stomach at the sight. He didn't want to let her go for the afternoon, but he also didn't want her hanging around. He relented though, because he owed her, and because he cared about Lucas. They went exploring the Festival for the morning.

Mikan acted like she was high. "The Technical Area is so amazing! Its scale is so much more than the Somatic Area! It's so lively!" She ran around from shop to shop to exhibit to exhibit as if she'd drank three straight cans of Red Bull. "THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE, THINGS, AND BUILDINGS!" He understood she'd never been out of a small, backwards village in the country, but this was ridiculous. He wasn't just being difficult either, even Lucas, who was soft and delicate as silk, thought so.

"Calm down would you?" He was seen to be muttering here and there, and Natsume could tell he felt a bit self-conscious to be hanging around with a girl who didn't get the meaning of the word "moderation." Natsume didn't really understand how you could maintain such enthusiasm without giving yourself an aneurysm. Hell, he was pretty sure even the _plants_ agreed with him. They'd walked past a garden of talking plants and flowers by Mr. Misaki and his Gardening Group, and Mikan had almost exploded,

"WOW! What's this?"

She walked over to the flowerbed that welcomed her to the Technical Area by moving to form the words with their petals.

"HOW COOL! This is amazing!"

She'd seen flowers talk….was it so much to expect they could also spell?

"You're easily impressed." Natsume muttered. Beside him, Lucas seemed dazed, apparently not knowing how to handle her, then she freaked out over the dancing vegetables.

"WHOOAAAA!"

At this point, Natsume had enough. Talking plants, leads to spelling and walking flowers, which leads to dancing vegetables, eventually it should start to make a pattern that _didn't make you freak out._ Enough was enough. While she was occupied with the weird plants, Natsume bought some "Cockle-Doodle Biscuits." Eating one had the effect of turning your lips into a beak for one minute after which you would only be able to speak chicken. The advertising said that you should "Feed it to your gabby friend." Perfect. (Not that they were friends.) The next time she opened her mouth to shriek, Natsume tossed one into her gob and she started clucking to Lucas's absolute shock and horror, but Natsume stood by his decision. She soon quieted down, and he didn't have to deal with the embarrassment of being seen with someone so _loud_.

"Slaves ought to behave themselves and not act so crazy, you moron."

He beckoned her over and also placed a leash on her, because he couldn't take her running around everywhere. He was exhausted and could neither afford to lose her in the crowd nor chase her down. It really was for both their sakes. This girl was going to drive him insane. Lucas must have seen the look on his face, because he wisely kept his mouth shut.

Mikan managed to keep her trap mostly shut, and walked slowly behind them with her head down for the next half an hour or so as they walked around. Occasionally she would perk up when she saw something interesting, but seemed to realise after she wasn't supposed to be so excited; she was supposed to be miserable, and went back to being docile. It was a good thing, Natsume reasoned with himself. It had been precisely what he'd been hoping for. Really.

"Hey, is that Imai's shop?" Lucas had to ask in trepidation. "It looks like a one man operation."

Mikan lit up like a bonfire. "It is!" Ripping off the leash she dashed forward to see her friend looking as if they'd been cruelly seperated for a decade rather than a day. She didn't get close. There was a booming thud sound and everyone looked up to see a massive robot in the form of a pig standing upright. Imai was inside it looking supremely focused, as she always managed to do.

"Pigula #3!" A man announced. "It's time for the Hotaru Imai Store's Auction. Every year, in spite of the high prices, it's an absolute sell out! Let me introduce you to today's amazing robot. Look, it's transformed into Pig-Bird. Hold on to your hats, folks! Pigula #3 is just warming up! It flies. Pig-Bird is flying! It's time to leave the nest and fly to the Eastern Forest!"

The pig turned bird flew around the area holding a sign that said "Go Green," and Natsume had to reluctantly admit he was impressed. The crowd of wealthy businessmen surrounding them were going wild.

"Well, thank you everyone for coming. Thank you Hotaru Imai for your wonderful inventions. Let's give her a round of thunderous applause!"

Natsume looked out of the corner of his eye expecting Mikan to clap. To his surprise she was staring in awe with something that looked like loneliness on her face. When the show was over, and it was clear Imai had gone too far away, she turned to them and stammered,

"Hotaru was amazing, wasn't she? What even was that?"

"Those fans of Miss Imai's machines, they looked like billionaires from all over the world, didn't they? They must all be vying to sponsor her."

The answer came from an unexpected source. Natsume was so intent upon trying to discern just what it was that had Mikan seeming so upset, and why she would be trying to hide it, he never noticed Permy had sidled up next to them. He should have better spatial awareness than that

"According to my brother, the Technical class has gotten two more sponsors since she arrived. That performance will attract even more. The Technical class will be rolling in it."

"What! Really?" Mikan asked eagerly.

"Sure, she's a triple, and an executive candidate. She's one of their best up and comers. She's really going to go far. My brother-"

At this point, Natsume started drifting off. Listening to Permy was annoying, but he owed her, listening to what her idiot, bully of a brother thought was another thing though. Mikan seemed to be zoning off too, lost wherever she had been before.

"Hey, guys," she interrupted as he saw a flash of hope or triumph or resolve or something flare in her eyes, "Do you know what you want to do when you grow up? ….You don't, right?"

Ah, so that's what it was, worrying her friend would leave her behind, and how could she keep up? How could she even try? Shouldn't she be happy for them? He was well familiar with that one.

"Huh?" Permy blinked twice, as if someone would dare interrupt her. "You mean like a dream for the future?"

Mikan nodded frantically.

"Well," Permy drew herself up pompously, "to make the most of my Alice, I've decided to be a police officer or an investigator for the government."

Natsume snorted, and had to bite his tongue from snarking, _Yeah, on the K9 Force_.

"Really? Police?!" Mikan seemed shocked, and while Natsume agreed the idea was nightmarish, he didn't think it was surprising. The girl liked to police everyone, didn't she? Why not get paid for it if you can?

"I'd also like to be Nastume or Lucas's wife." She added with a sigh and a hesitant chuckle. Natsume stood there rigidly out of obligation, and said nothing. He just hoped to God Mikan didn't comment on that, or ask him what he saw in his future, because he just saw a pile of ash, and she either wouldn't get it, or would get it, and entirely freak out. He did not want a freak out. He did not want to talk about his future, (especially with the lengths she'd gone to to keep him alive.) Maybe he could just sidle off a bit, and not get involved…

"What about you Lucas-Hop? Please, tell me you haven't decided?"

Natsume found a stall nearby where he could eavesdrop inconspicuously. He was not a part of this conversation

"What?" Lucas stammered. "I, um, I'm not going to tell you."

"But you've decided!?" Polka Dots turned around in a sort-of panic. "And you Natsume? You're my last hope!" Natsume smirked just a bit when she realised he was gone. "Ugh! He's not even listening! I should've known."

"Well, Imai isn't the only triple. Natsume actually is an executive, and Lucas's a triple too. He just doesn't brag about it." That was one way of putting it. Lucas didn't even wear his stars on his collar like he was supposed to, and it wasn't because he was being edgy. Natsume walked back over in case this got dangerous.

"What? No way! A Triple? I didn't know that."

Natsume watched his best-friend's complexion pale, and swore he saw beads of sweat on his face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mikan clasped her hands together self-consciously. "I'm surrounded by awesome people." Yes, but you're not "awesome" because someone gives you a triple, certainly not when that someone was Kuonji, he wanted to tell her. Don't put yourself down. She was, in an odd way, far too humble. Although, he supposed in a certain sense it could be said that Lucas had received them as an acknowledgment that he was "awesome." Sadly, it was more like a brand than a reward.

"Um," Lucas shied away nervously at Polka's enthusiasm. He refused to look her in the eye. "It's not because I got it because of my actual talent like Imai and…" No, he didn't owe them anything, and this wasn't getting talked about. Lucas should not have to be in such a position. Natsume stepped forward and grabbed Mikan by the scalp and pulled her away.

"Hey, I'm hungry. Let's go Lucas."

"Oh are you leaving…?" Permy hesitantly asked after their retreating backs, but Natsume did nothing to encourage her. She'd just keep the subject going anyway. She was not so easily distracted. No one needed to know that Lucas refused to talk about a future, because Natsume would not admit to having one, (and Lucas dreamed of having a country practice on a farm and Natsume would be there when there was just no way he would be), or that Lucas star status was directly correlated to Natsume's good behaviour, and Lucas hated the thought that they held him as an added hostage over him. Maybe one day the fool would understand that Natsume's dreams lived in the simple hope that Lucas would one day be free, preferably with his sister. They were getting there, he supposed, as he looked at Mikan's bouncing form next to them. She was as loyal and brave as his friend was, and nothing else would be good enough. Lucas would be okay. He had to be.

As they went their way down to the food area of the Festival, Mikan was summoned over by her friend Anna to eat at her little cafe. Anna had begged them to try her new baked goods, and Mikan had pleaded to be allowed to eat there. She'd learned by now it was best to appeal to Lucas and had all but turned into a puppy to stare him down sad-eyes and all.

"Lucas," Natsume whispered into his best friend's ear as he relented. "She's starting to learn some good tricks. Don't let your guard down."

Mikan chattered on inanely as they went in, asking them if they knew Anna's Alice had unusual effects on anything she cooked. Somehow she assumed that after living with the girl for two years they didn't know this. Polka Dots could make conversation with a rock. Anna came back quickly and placed her pie down in front of them. It was a bubbling, oozing mess of rainbow colours that looked distinctly unappetising. Not that Mikan thought so, of course, but Lucas clearly looked as apprehensive as Natsume felt. This could not be edible. There was strange, and then there was taking your life into your hands, and Natsume did the latter on a regular basis. Anna came back with a pot of tea she poured for them and set on the table. Feeling something was not quite right, whatever Mikan though, Natsume tentatively took the first bite for the team. It tasted like shit.

"Heh, heh, heh," he heard a faint chuckle, "he ate my rotten filling. Now your stomach will writhe."

He looked closely at the pie and saw the origin of the little, nasty voice. Fuck, she must have used expired ingredients that had become animated from her Alice. That's what was off.

"Let's tuck in!" Mikan exclaimed with glee as she went to eat her piece. In a moment of instinct, Natsume grabbed the tea pot and splattered it all over the table and the pieces of pie. Lucas looked like he'd been spared a death sentence.

"NATSUME!" His eardrums told him Mikan was not nearly so grateful. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"It was terrible."

"You apologise, you big jerk! Apologise to Anna and Lucas-Hop and me!"

"I'm okay…" Lucas softly tried to appeal to her to no avail. If she was going to make a scene, she would make a scene.

"What kind of miscreant are you?!"

Natsume stood up abruptly and walked away. It was too much to bear. Here he was again, being punished for the sacrifices he makes on their behalf, condemned by ignorance, and unable to enlighten them. What had he even been thinking? Walking around playing like he could just enjoy the day like a regular person? He wasn't; he never would be. He was so sick of pretending. (And who used the word 'miscreant,' anyway?) He was so tired, already his stomach was beginning to ache from the rotten food. He just wanted to sleep. Forget this day had happened, and forget it existed. He lay down under the nearest tree he could find, and closed his eyes as tightly as he could.

He only got respite for about ten minutes. He was halfway to sleep when he heard the maniac shout his name. Groggily sitting up he groaned as he saw Lucas and Mikan running up and holding hands. Goddamnit. This had to be Lucas's idea, coming here, trying to make sure he felt "included." He'd given his friend a free pass, a chance to hang-out with Mikan-look they were even fucking holding hands-couldn't he just take the gift and go?

"We wanted to come find you." Mikan confirmed having gotten over her fit. Natsume shot a glare at Lucas who just beamed brightly back at him like a sunbeam. Natsume rolled his eyes and sat up. His quest for peace and solitude, however temporary, had ended. Somehow things went back to normal within a minute, if you could call anything about the absurd day 'normal.' Half an hour later Mikan squealed she had forgotten to go visit Class Rep's Haunted House, (which was no doubt not scary at all), and insisted they go immediately because he'd be off soon. They indulged her once again, and headed to the area where the Haunted House was; Natsume had to threaten Mikan with Cockle-Doodle Biscuits on three separate occasions when she started getting too much to handle, but the most mesmerising part to Natsume was really how much Mikan was trying to psych herself up.

"And I'm not afraid of ghosts or anything. I mean, I grew up in the country, and it was dark all the time there..."

Lucas mildly indulged her and asked questions, but Natsume rather felt that had he had the energy he would much rather have pushed her back a bit about not being scared. Poke and prod and see what she was made of. There was something satisfying about peeling back the raw layers and getting her going. In any case, this girl did not need the wrong sort of encouragement.

When they arrived Natsume was astounded at what he saw. Boys and girls alike were stumbling out of the Haunted House looking absolutely shell shocked. The place actually looked pretty scary. He guessed there was something to be said about the "quiet ones,' because he would never have pegged Tobita for having it in him to do anything scarier than a giant cockroach. Lucas seemed to be coming to the same conclusions.

"Pres looks soft, but I wonder…"

"Gushing blood, and decapitated heads! I'm going to see this in my dreams." Someone muttered as they limped out the door. Mikan looked terrified.

"Well, are we going in or not?" He looked over at her with a challenge in his stare. She flushed at the message, and nodded hesitantly as the three of them walked in.

They went inside and it seemed pretty standard with spiders and snakes on the walls, and eerie whispers that came from nowhere. Mikan freaked in about ten seconds when something grabbed her leg.

"What was that!" She jumped a mile and grabbed tightly onto Lucas's arm.

"Sa-Sakura, you're hurting me."

"Sorry," she mumbled, but didn't let go. Lucas looked like he didn't know what to make of it, and was blushing fiercely. Honestly, just because Natsume was happy for his friend, did not mean he should have to put up with this "I'm so scared, please hold me" crap. Resentment rose up in his chest.

"This is so lame." He muttered over his shoulder at them. "Who was it who was going on about how they were soooo used to ghosts again?"

It was ridiculous that Polka Dots could hold her own after being kidnapped but was scared of this. He flatly didn't believe it, and if they wanted to flirt, they shouldn't have dragged him into it.

"Will you carry me across on your back?" Some old bitch asked, and Natsume, glaring at Lucas and Mikan behind him, refused on principle. The old lady transformed into some horrific monster and started chasing them down the hallway. Lucas's rabbit ran away, and Lucas, naturally, ran after it. There was an earthquake and the walls started to shake. Natsume and Mikan were trapped in some kind of room-Mikan, it seemed, had fainted-when the right wall started to fall down, trapping them in. Worst of all, Natsume had hurt his ankle trying to follow Lucas.

"Agh!" Mikan screamed as she sat up and put her hands on her face in over-theatrical terror. "The wall! The wall! The ghosts have trapped us in!"

"Weren't you passed out a second ago? It's just a trick."

If only he'd kept his mouth shut. His words brought on a total blackout, making it clear there had been some kind of malfunction. Wasn't that just his luck? To be stuck here in the dark with Polka Dots. Well, there was no way he was just sitting here in the dark with a throbbing ankle, with her no less, and doing nothing. Natsume hated being trapped.

"Oy," he told Mikan who was standing in from of the wall that was trapping them. "Move it."

"No way." She placed her hands on her hips. "The Latent types must have worked really hard to build all this. How could you even suggest it?"

Natsume just sighed and stared at her. Why was she like this?

"So….we're just going to wait here in the dark for someone to come?"

Seeing the look of fear in her face and her silence. He tested her again.

"In the pitch, black, dark?"

He was amused as he watched her squirm. To her credit though, she nodded and sat down next to him. She was so strange, so brave in the face of Reo, but so terrified of a haunted house, so scared to be trapped in the dark, but so eager to brave it for her friend, for even people she didn't know yet whose feelings she still cared about, always standing by her principles. He felt like somehow he understood her better for it. Maybe she wasn't faking her fear. This was a girl who was very sensitive, and very afraid, but always willing to push through it all for her friends, even for strangers. Here was a glimpse, an understanding, of the heart that ran back for him that day. She'd come here for her friends, and she'd stay here for them, however terrified she was. This became apparent the moment she'd latched onto him the second she'd heard a noise. Oddly, he felt admiration flooding him.

"What-what was that? A ghost? A person?"

He indulged her for about five seconds before it got uncomfortably hot.

"Hey."

"What?"

"Stop clinging to me. It's stuffy."

"I'm not clinging! What are you talking about?"

She let go. She lasted about ten seconds.

"N-Natsume, can I hold our hand? I'm scared."

"Ew, no."

"If we hold hands, we'll feel warm and the ghosts won't be scary anymore, see? See?" She grabbed his hand. He pulled away.

"Hold your own hand."

Another ten seconds, and he just couldn't help himself.

"Hey, the head on that wall moved."

"Agh!" She wrapped him in a hug.

"Or did it?" He smirked.

"Come on, don't scare me, you jerk." She pleaded, and he did actually feel bad when he saw there were tears in her eyes. Maybe his teasing had gone a bit too far.

"Oh, that's right. I just remembered."

Remembered what? Couldn't she maintain a coherent conversation?

"I wanted to apologise to you...about Anna."

"Huh?"

"Lucas-Hop told me that you did it for our sake."

"What are you talking about?"

Mikan kept looking at him intently for something he didn't understand, but Natsume wisely kept his mouth shut. He didn't know what to say anyway. This time the silence lasted, but it was rather uncomfortable. Mikan seemed to be thinking intently, so at least she wasn't scared anymore. Natsume definitely didn't know how he felt about her apologizing. He couldn't remember the last time anyone other than Lucas had seemed to think they owed him one. He wasn't even sure how he felt about Lucas telling her that, or that she hadn't figured it out herself, but on the other hand, that she had been willing to accept the possibility that he really wasn't always an ass. She'd said she was sorry. She had no reason to do that. He hadn't deserved it. She made him question everything he saw in the world. It made him uneasy. He found himself very aware of her presence. She was still watching him. It was making him self-conscious.

"What?"

"There's an Alice of Jokes in my class."

Okay…

"I heard a really funny joke for him. Check it out!"

Oh, no…

"So the pig looks at the horse and says, 'Hey, Buddy, why the long face?"

Crickets may as well be chirping.

"What! Why aren't you laughing? I laughed my butt off."

"If it's you telling the joke, it's not funny. Are you a moron?"

She huffed and turned around to sulk. Yeah, he was not putting up with this. They needed to go. She was getting far too familiar with him. It made him uncomfortable, the thought of anyone getting close. What would she see or assume next? I mean, telling jokes? What next? Swear to be BFFs?

"Anyway, say, Polka Dots."

"Who're you calling Polka Dots?"

"Fine then, idiot. The light still hasn't come back on; why don't you think of a way to get out of here, ugly?"

"Why don't you think of a way to remember my name? Nasty fox!"

Nasty? Fox? Did she just call him a nasty fox? That was the limit. This really had to be nipped in the bud. Calling him names like it was nothing was way too much. Like what did it take for this girl to get the picture? Why did she keep thinking she could push him like this? He was overwhelmed by the fear of scrutiny, a light shining too close to his darkness bringing too many things into sight, which propelled him to action. He stood up and used his foot to lift up her skirt just a bit to get the flash of information he needed.

"Quit your whining, strawberry fields."

Mikan flew at him, shoved him in the chest and onto the floor, looking like she was about to punch his lights out. To be honest, Natsume felt somewhat inclined to let her, and there was always something thrilling about being on the receiving end of her attention, when the wall was moved out of the way, and they were rescued.

"What are you guys doing!" Lucas asked in a rather high voice. Everyone else was stunned silent, but Natsume guessed Lucas knew better. He'd about seen it all, and this was rather familiar.

"What! Do you think?- I mean this isn't- It's not what it looks like."

Amused, and realising how compromising this position looked with her on top of him, Natsume stood and quipped before walking out,

"Stop jumping on me just because no one's around, pervert woman."

Behind him he heard Mikan erupt like a volcano, but Natsume ignored her and walked out, unable to help a chuckle escaping his lips. Affection rose up inside him unbidden. That girl really was something else. Lucas ran out after him.

"Seriously, what was that about?"

"I just made her mad is all." No way was he telling Lucas what had happened. He didn't think he could take Lucas's disappointment either in him or the situation or both. "Look, I don't think it's a good idea for us to spend too much time together. You spend the rest of the day with her. I'll just say I couldn't abide her presence anymore or something, okay? Actually, we'll say I gave her to you for the rest of her 'slavery.'" And that way she and Lucas could spend more time together. That ought to make Lucas happy, Natsume thought with a pang of loneliness and longing.

"Okay." Lucas agreed despondently. "If you're really sure you can't. I wish you'd just be able to get along with her though. ….Couldn't you just tell her the truth?"

"I can't, Lucas. I just can't." He sighed. "I'm going to take a nap, okay? I really am quite tired."

He wasn't entirely sure he could trust her, but more than that the truth was Natsume really didn't think he could trust himself around Mikan, because she was a puzzle he couldn't solve. He couldn't burn her. He couldn't intimidate her. He couldn't make her hate him on principle. She would get mad at him; she would rebuke him, but she would not leave him alone, and fear him, and he wasn't sure what to do with that. She was forgiving. How do you handle such a girl? Especially when she was so interesting to watch, and had layers he hadn't expected? She made him feel out of control. He wanted to shove her away for coming where she wasn't wanted, but he wanted to keep poking at her to see how she would react. For a boy who prided himself on discipline, whose life relied on it, it was scary. Natsume was used to being unbearable angry at the world, but whatever was rollicking through him now was alien and strange and exciting and absolutely fucking terrifying, and entirely, best avoided. It was like hanging on a precipice not knowing what lay below. He yearned for escape, but couldn't bear anyone to see his pain. No, he could no longer continue to spend time near Mikan Sakura. Today would be a once off. His decision was final.


	9. Sleeping Beauty, Waking Ugly

A/N: Hello All, unbetaed again so "head's up." :)

 **Chapter 9: Sleeping Beauty, Waking Ugly**

The week passed in a haze. Natsume wandered around, entertained Youichi, (being a part of the DA, Youichi was limited to the supervision of either the teacher from Class A or Natsume, and Natsume didn't trust adults as a rule), avoided the DA members where possible, and above all else tried to get his rest while he could. Slowly, he was feeling better, which was a relative statement, but it was impossible to deny he felt weaker on the whole since blowing up that warehouse. He was out of breath quicker, and the smallest tasks would seem to exhaust him at times. Still, he was able to glare at anyone in the immediate vicinity which kept them away and from asking nosy questions. He figured things could be much worse. The best thing about the week was Mikan did not bother him especially. She hung out with her friends, and Lucas, who he supposed now fell into that category too. However, she made no effort to befriend him. She was cordial; she was polite, but she didn't go out of her way either. Natsume found himself simultaneously relieved and disappointed. To be left alone was precisely what he wanted, of course, but still...some people just can't make up their mind. Mikan Sakura was clearly within that category. That was all he had to say.

The connection to Mikan, and therefore Imai, through Lucas, had proven useful on just the one count though. It gave him the inside scoop, providing him with some interesting information about Imai's elder brother. It seemed they'd never even been introduced before the Alice Festival. It certainly gave Natsume something to think about. Imai had claimed her brother had become an Alice elitist after being taken from his parents and brainwashed when he was only about five year old. It had been before she was even born. He wrote no letters, and never visited, despite his prestigious position. The Imais bitterly regretted letting their son go. They'd thought they'd been doing the right thing. When their daughter was discovered to have an Alice too, they knew better and fled from place to place to keep her with them. Natsume found himself sympathetic. His parents had done much the same. It certainly explained why Hotaru Imai had been unable to keep in touch with her best friend when she'd finally attended the Academy, and her attitude in general. It also confirmed every nasty thing he'd ever thought about her older brother. Subaru Imai was a nasty, ass-kissing, sycophant to Kuonji who believed in superiority- so much so he did not contact his parents even though he was in a position to, and had avoided association with his little sister, but at least it also meant Natsume didn't have to worry about conspiracy on the Imai siblings part as he had feared when Mikan had entered the school. It was a huge burden off his mind, so much so he found himself rather jumpy. It wasn't wise to feel even slightly safe, yet safer he somehow felt. All in all, Natsume was in as a good a mood as can be expected of miserable confusion by the time it came to see Lucas play Snow White.

Lucas was quite the opposite. While Permy pranced around giving away flyers and tickets telling everyone to come see her in her leading role, Lucas was futilely, vehemently, telling everyone not to come. To Natsume's distinct amusement, this only guaranteed it. Following the path of least resistance, he found himself swept up in the crowd of schoolmates all heading to see the play, because in the words of Mind-Reader, "There's no way we're not going." Natsume was never going to let Lucas forget this. He also knew he'd burn anyone who gave his friend trouble over it. He had two motivations in going.

The theatre was packed, and at least a third of the audience were animals, which was absolutely ridiculous, and so like Lucas; Natsume almost found himself sniggering, as he joined Mikan, Imai, the Chemistry Girl, and Mind-Reader backstage.

"It's Snow White!" All the girls shrieked and started cooing over Lucas who flushed red all the way down to his neck when he saw them. Imai drew her camera.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME!"

"No, we came to see you out of loyalty!" Mind-Reader quipped with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"No way! He's crossdressing?" Someone else shouted from behind as Narumi came along.

"What are you all doing here?" He queried.

"Oh! We've never been backstage before. It's amazing!" Mikan squealed at him, not really answering the question, but somehow it was good enough for Naru, who let it go and told them all to just be gone ten minutes before the show was to start.

Lucas had meanwhile resigned himself to his fate as Imai took innumerable pictures, and every female in the vicinity hovered over him in delight. You'd think he'd be more grateful.

"You're so cute, Lucas-Hop!" Mikan giggled.

"Isn't he just." Naru concurred. "The role of Show White is just so suited for Lucas I absolutely insisted he take part." _Bastard_.

"Nice casting, Mr. Narumi. You're totally adorable Lucas-Hop. Just like a real girl!" Lucas looked like he was about to die at this point, and Natsume sympathised. If he liked a girl, he would not want her to think he looked like a "real girl." It just wasn't conducive. Thank God it wasn't him. He would have burned anyone who suggested it. As it was, Lucas got up and stormed away at Mikan's commentary much to her confusion and hurt.

"Lucas sure is in a bad mood. Perhaps he's nervous." Mind-Reader commented with surprising tact, for him.

"Oh no, he's been like that ever since I suggested the role. He's barely spoken more than a sentence to me." Naru said with a flighty wave of his hand.

"Oooh, snitty."

Narumi explained, completely ignoring the humiliation he'd just put Lucas through, that he'd also forced him to play alongside Permy as Sleeping Beauty. His manipulations didn't end there. He'd made the Middle School girl with the female pheromonal inclination Alice to play the role of Prince, on the grounds that it was time she stopped being ashamed of her Alice, and frustrated about being popular amongst her sex for no reason, and just embrace it. At least Imai saw how disgusting Naru was being when she asked him if he wasn't just trying to force her to like girls, (even ignoring the implication that these girls were being coerced into attraction no less.) All Naru replied was that, "Grown ups have their reasons." Ugh. He'd rather hoped Mikan would now see what a perv their teacher was, but she had the attention span of a fruit fly, and that was too much to hope for. She was already on the next subject.

"Hey, Mind-Reader! What're those?" She pointed at the box in his hand which Mind-Reader dutifully opened up to show the contents.

"They're powerful slime balls. I bought them at the Technical Class Prank Shop. If you add a bit of heat and physical impact, it'll explode and the stuff will stick and won't come off for about an hour." He shrugged. "I thought it could be fun to throw them at people who tick me off."

"Wow."

"Want one?" Mikan chuckled in a rather fake manner, and rubbed her hand across the back of her neck sheepishly,

"Seriously? I don't have anyone I'd want to throw it at even if I did take one." But she took one even as she said it, and Natsume knew Mind-Reader wouldn't have offered if he hadn't seen an image of someone in her head, and an intent to use it. He also saw exactly who Mikan's eyes had glanced towards.

"What are you looking at me for?" He glared at her, even as Imai came to the same conclusions.

"I note you took one anyway." She pointed out.

"LOOK OUT!" Someone shouted before the conversation could progress. "The drop curtain!"

Shit. The curtain above them was falling along with a couple of bright lights. Everyone scattered; the balls flew everywhere; people screamed; Natsume noticed there was some kid in a elf-like costume standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. By instinct, Natsume leaped forward, grabbed the boy, and dragged him out of the way. The chaos lasted no more than a few seconds, and soon everyone was shouting out asking if everyone was okay. Natsume didn't even need to listen to know things were not. His hand and the little boy's were stuck together by Mind-Reader's sticky balls that had exploded in the melee.

"I'm stuck!"

"Me too."

"I can't get it off."

Natsume tried yanking his hand away, but stopped when he saw it was hurting the kid. He looked around and found others in worse dilemmas. Some had books stuck to their hair, and others were stuck flat to the floor. Who knew, maybe Lucas would be lucky enough to get out of playing Snow White? It was clear the wicked stepmother and the prince were going to have to be replaced. It would be an hour until the goo wore off and there was no way they could postpone that long. Where was Lucas anyway? He glanced around. Oh, right, Lucas had left in humiliation, and was now condemned to it. Poor bastard. A couple of nervous looking Somatic class members, a high school girl, and middle school boy it seemed, approached him.

"What?" He asked brusquely.

"Umm...We just thought maybe we could try and help you get unstuck?" The girl mumbled as if she were waiting to catch Hell for talking to him.

"Hn." He nodded his head as he grunted in agreement. The Middle School guy looked like he might fall over in shock. They grabbed a hold of the little boy who was stuck to him and pulled as Natsume walked backwards with all his might, but it was no use. The sticky balls had not been poorly advertised.

Naru came flouncing back. Over in the corner Mind-Reader and co were apologising left, right, and center, to reassurances that it was not actually their fault. It was just an unfortunate accident. Still, Naru reasoned, they could use their help because even some of the understudies were stuck so it was going to mean some creative planning. He jumped right in looking to all concerned like he was actually enjoying himself as he said he would have to alter the script a bit, and would take over the role of the huntsman, while his TA could play the role of the wicked Queen. The girl who had tried so unsuccessfully to try and unstick Natsume rushed forward,

"Teacher, one of the kids playing the seven dwarves...He's, um, well, he's stuck to Hyuuga."

"What?! Really! There were more victims?" Natsume did not like how that sentence was phrased.

"Yes, and our class doesn't have any more kids! We can't unstick them!" Natsume was left with the feeling that their first instinct was never to even approach him to try and help if they could have found another kid to play a dwarf. Typical.

"Seriously?" Narumi came over to look at Natsume and the increasingly close to tears four year old. "Well this is a problem." Narumi rubbed his chin contemplatively. "I suppose we could try actually putting Natsume on the stage with him as the dwarf's forest animal friend."

Natsume lifted his chin defiantly, and glared. "No way. I'll knock you into next week." He was not going to prance around stage for one man's perverse pleasure.

"Whaaat?" Narumi whined like a toddler. "Why not do it? Think of it as an act of mercy."

"Moron! Why should I help you?"

"Meanie!" Someone shouted from the sidelines.

"Hah," Naru sighed dramatically and shook his head like a diva. "You're so cold! We have no choice then; we'll just have to change it from the seven dwarves to the six." The little guy gasped in dismay, and Narumi got down on his knees and ruffled the little boy's hair. "I have no choice, and you worked so hard. I'm sorry."

Natsume couldn't believe the nerve of the man, making him look like the bad guy, as he dashed off to deal with the next crisis. Damn him to Hell. He looked down at the little boy whose hand he held, and saw the lips quivering, and knew he couldn't be responsible for the waterworks. Truly, truly, there was no reward to a good deed. Fuck.

"Come on, kid," he muttered dragging the boy over to the changing rooms. There was bound to be some over-enthusiastic female who would humiliate him appropriately.

"Oh my God, it's Natsume!"

"He's stuck!"

"He's going to be in the play."

Natsume said the bare minimum as they swirled around him. This was just what he got for ever laughing at Lucas. They put cat ears on him and whiskers. So original. Then he was wrapped in leopard print and send out as some kind of wild cat. He wished he could bleach his brain. Someone was getting burned for this. If they said anything … He walked out just as Naru was trying to sort out the situation with the Prince.

"Natsume! WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT!" Funnily enough it wasn't Polka Dots but Permy who was shrieking like that. Narumi looked thunderstruck-so there-but it almost didn't seem worth the whispers.

"Natsume? Whoa! What are you wearing? You're a wildcat." Now, _that_ was Mikan. Around the stage people kept commenting on the shock of seeing _the_ Natsume Hyuuga like that, a couple said he was cute, but the prevailing sentiment was "don't laugh; he'll murder us". Good. Naturally, though, of course, Mikan had to be the exception. She didn't stop after her first exclamation of shock. She doubled over laughing mockingly at him as she pointed,

"Ah HA HA HA, it looks so good on you. I never would have thought."

"Idiot," Natumse heard someone whisper. "Don't say that. He'll hear you."

"Isn't this great," Narumi was kneeling down talking to the dwarf-boy again. Mikan was still laughing as she skipped up to him and starting tugging on his cat ears. Natsume reached for his Alice reflexively when he remembered. Great, and he couldn't even burn her. He kept forgetting that. Damn her too.

"Oh look, he's wearing cat ears. Too cute." That's it. He flicked her forcefully on the forehead.

"Hey, that hurt."

"Don't call men cute, cow."

"Stupid cat! That seriously hurt. There's no reason to suddenly flick someone's forehead!"

Hmmm, he disagreed. She shouldn't dish what she can't take. She shoved him; he grabbed her in a headlock. This was kinda fun, and it was getting out of hand. He was pretty sure this crossed some kind of line. Behind him he heard Naru talking to the girl who was playing the Prince that there was no understudy and that could they do? Perfect!

"Polka Dots, you play the Prince."

"Huh?"

He turned her around to face Narumi.

"Yo, she's gonna play the Prince."

"What are you saying?"

"Shut up. You're my slave aren't you? Pipe down; we don't have time to keep arguing."

Mikan looked around for some support, but Natsume knew how to deliver the final nail into a coffin.

"Do what you've got to do. The show must go on." He stared her down. "You're certainly not going to make me wear this costume for no reason."

"But-But I can't!"

Vengeance was sweet.

"Please do it in my place." The original Prince-Yuri was it?-begged Mikan grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her. "You're my last ray of hope."

The girls who were under the influence of her Alice rushed Mikan and begged her to please play the part for the sake of their beloved Yuri, even Imai and Permy fell under her spell, and Mikan capitulated in the face of such an onslaught. Natsume couldn't help smirking at his success. Take that Nullification girl.

Narumi rushed forward and explained to her they would use cue cards to help prompt her lines, and, before he knew it, Mikan was being dressed as the Prince.

"Sakura," Lucas nervously approached her. "Don't worry if you're in trouble out there. Let's just do our best, okay? We'll all cover for you."

Mikan looked relieved and offered him a sunny smile, but Natsume felt cold. Lucas really owed him.

"Lucas-Hop!" Mikan came dashing out from the dressing room when she was done. "Hey, do you think I look okay? I'm all antsy with my hair down. I hate it! I'm freaking out."

Lucas blushed crimson and stammered, "You're, you're hair's down. I've never seen it like that."

"That's not what I asked you!" She wailed, and Natsume could have face-palmed. That's not what you say to a girl, when she asks you how she looks, but he could see what had Lucas so confused. Mikan with her hair down had a mysterious, pretty look to her that was somewhat more gentle and mature than when it was in pigtails. Around him others chuckled, and muttered that what he should have said was that she looked cute or pretty or beautiful. Clearly he was not the only one to have noticed his best-friend's rather debilitating crush. Natsume turned around and walked away.

"Hotaru! Do I look weird?"

"Yep!"

"No!"

Imari smiled softly. He'd never seen such an expression on her face before. "I kid. You look cute. Just be more confident in yourself, okay?"

Mikan nodded frantically, and the pheromone voice choir went out to sing the narration, absolutely terribly, and it didn't matter because their Alice overwhelmed you. Whatever else Narumi was, his use of Alices in the play was genius as were his casting choices. Permy played the Sleeping Beauty who was cursed to laze around and always sleep, getting her servants to do everything for her: Very in character. Fearing she would never wed, the Prince from the neighbouring kingdom was to be forced into marrying her lest his kingdom also be infected by the curse, but went to the wrong kingdom were he met Snow White. Lucas played his part magnificently. He walked out onto the stage and the animals in the audience swarmed him and started dancing and cooing in unison to his singing. Every girl in the audience must have sighed. Then came the cringe-worthy part where Sleeping Beauty sent the huntsman to kill Snow White in revenge. Naru being the Huntsman had to make some stupid show about how he couldn't possibly kill such a beautiful girl and instead he would steal her lips. Fucking pedophile. Fortunately, Lucas had taken pheromone suppressants beforehand, wise of him, and was able to use his animals to attack and claw Naru as he fled the stage. He wasn't even acting. This school really was a shit-hole if a teacher could do that in front of an audience so brazenly.

Snow White fled deep into the woods where she was rescued by the dwarves who were all named for their Alice's like "Super-Strongey." Natsume could barely refrain from rolling his eyes at that, as he was made to walk on stage.

"And dis is my fwiend, Mr. Widecat!"

"Meow." He said tonelessly.

You could've heard a pin drop in the audience. At least it was now over with and would never be discussed again. Ever. This day was turning into an absolute Hell.

The final scene of the play came when the Prince found Snow White dead from a poisoned apple in the woods after having been found by Sleeping Beauty.

"Let me give her a farewell kiss." Mikan read of the script, and then did a double take much as did the rest of the cast when the cue card added, "On the lips so that the audience can see it."

"Teacher, that's not in the script!" Someone whispered.

"Yes, I know, but we lost some of our sizzle because of the accident; it's an emergency addition."

Natsume could see the anticipation in the audience, as Mikan hesitated. Natsume felt a riptide of fury rush through him when he saw Mikan lean down to do the deed cradling Lucas's head in her hands. Natsume grabbed the nearest object, a block of wood, and threw it at the pair. It hit Mikan's head. Next to him, Imai switched all the lights off causing a blackout. Looking down at his hand he could hardly have believed he'd done that. Of course, Mikan shouldn't have been forced, and Lucas had seemed tense and wouldn't have wanted his first kiss to be forced, and public, probably, but still...Natsume hadn't been thinking about that. He'd just been really mad. He hadn't wanted to watch Mikan kiss someone else. Period. Fuck. No. So this was what had changed. This was unacceptable. The narrators' wrapped up the play explain the kiss had awakened the Princess and everyone went to take a bow. Natsume couldn't get out fast enough.

"Hyuuga!" He whirled around.

"What!?" It was Imai.

"Just stay away from her, okay? She doesn't need your kind of influence. She has enough to deal with."

"Believe me," he snarled stepping forward, "I want nothing to do with that loud-mouthed, overbearing, invasive little parasite!" It was a lie, and he felt somewhat guilty saying it.

"I'm sure." She spoke dryly holding his gaze, one of only a handful that could. Of all the people to see him get jealous, why did it have to be her?

"Good." Despising the disbelief in her eyes, her self-assurance, he added. "What I do, I do or Lucas." That he meant to be true.

"And what I do, I do for my friend." She replied. "I know the Academy makes you do a lot of their dirty work. I'm not stupid. I know more than you think, and I have eyes everywhere. I don't care. If you want to take it out on the world, that's your business. I can't stop it, and I can't change it, but I will keep Mikan out of it." When she saw the glint of understanding in his eyes, Imai nodded once, almost regally, and walked away.

That she dared to turn her back on him said everything. He wished he didn't admire her for it, however grudgingly. Worst still was the knowledge she was right; he didn't do anyone good. He wondered if Imai had told Mikan about his missions, or if she had shielded her from the knowledge, as much as he tried to shield Lucas. He stormed off only to backtrack; he had to pick up Youichi. He huffed, feeling for a brief moment the resentment of responsibility. He was way too young to basically be someone's godfather, but who else did the tyke have? (But the unfairness was crushing; who was ever there for _him_ anyway? Lucas. The thought echoed back like a taunt. It didn't matter how he felt; he wasn't denying his friend anything.)

Lucas had picked up Youichi when Natsume made it back to the theatre. The young boy reached out towards him and Lucas transferred the toddler into his arms.

"You okay, You?" Natsume asked, and the boy nodded sleepily. He probably needed a nap. Natsume felt like he could use one too.

"So what did you think of the play?"

"It was alright. Naru was a prick, but all things considered it went rather well."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too." Lucas looked relieved it was all over. "Poor Sakura though, getting hit on the head like that."

The guilt overwhelmed Natsume. He'd really had no right.

"They think it was angry fans of Yuri's or mine. Sakura seems alright now, so…"

"That's good." He can't believe he just got compared to mindless fans. What a shit day this was turning out to be.

"I'm going to go put Youichi down for a nap. Actually, I think I'm going to join him."

"Yeah, I've got to help clean up anyway." Lucas smiled sheepishly. "Thanks for not mentioning the Snow White thing."

Natsume snorted. "I don't have to. Everyone else will."

Lucas grimaced like he'd swallowed slime and headed back inside.

* * *

Natsume woke up early next morning with rather intense abdominal pain, and difficulty breathing. He inhaled his medication, popped a couple of pills for the pain, knowing at his point it wasn't worth the fight of endurance, and sucked on a Halls as his breathing eased. He could taste blood in the back of his throat. The side-effects of the drugs made him woozy and exhausted him further. For a moment Natsume tried to remember why he was even here. Ahead of him lay...what? When he thought of the future his shoulders felt heavy and his vision almost went black. Why was he here again? ...Aoi. Yes, Aoi. He felt guilty every moment he forgot her. It had been two years since he'd seen her. Two years. Fuck. He fumbled out of bed, and reminded himself to grip tight to the cliffside he clung to. Somehow, somehow… He sighed deeply as he remembered today was the last day of the Alice Festival. His last day of reprieve. It was no wonder he felt like crap.

Natsume sat up on the front stage for the closing ceremony as he was required to, slouching in his seat in exhaustion and apathy, as speeches were made and awards handed out. There were only two brief moments that shook Natsume from his stupor. The first was the recognition of Hotaru Imai as a bright, upcoming mind, and the recognition of the Special Ability Classes exceptional contribution this year to the Festival. Natsume couldn't help but note the success of Imai and Mikan. Imai's warnings rang in his ears, and he felt distantly the similarity between he and Lucas and them, but Lucas was wrong, they were not the same. Imai was capable of protecting her friend, and had an older brother who could protect her. Mikan for all she was targeted was blooming where she was planted. He though, was the failed older brother, who was dying, and dragging his friend down with him. That was the difference. Imai took it all in stride like she didn't even care, because she never worked for trophies. He envied her. He was a trophy. He stepped off the stage when the last speech was done and pointedly avoided the Student Council in case they had some pithy words of wisdom for him. He sat down on a bench, waiting for Lucas to come join him. They would have homeroom again until it was time for the after-Festival dance. He closed his eyes and laid down letting the sun warm him.

"Hey, Natsume!" Natsume blinked and rubbed the sleepy out of his eyes as he saw his friend sprint up to him. "Natsume, you won't believe what happened!"

"What?"

"Sakura's got a letter from her grandfather."

"What?!" The exhaustion was held at bay by the shock of the revelation. He sat right up. "How is that possible? It couldn't have been because she went after me that they're suddenly allowing her letters? Not after all Jinno said about the last Nullification Alice."

"I know! I know!" Lucas shook his head animatedly. His cheeks were flushed with excitement and his eyes were shining like he'd been let in on some big, overwhelming secret. "It was Naru. Can you believe it? He actually went to Sakura's grandfather and delivered her letter to him, and then personally brought one back for her, uncensored. He apologised that it too so long; apparently after her whole escape attempt thing he promised her."

Natsume felt a wave of cold fury roll through him at the revelation. How was it fair that his attempt to get a letter to his father was met with a whipping? But her attempt to get a message out results in Naru's personal involvement to help her? He felt guilty feeling it, but it really wasn't fair. It seemed a season for jealousy. And why now? Naru had never done that for anyone else before. What was going on? What was he up to?

"What does he want going about doing things like that?"

"I don't know, but it makes me wonder what Reo was going on about thinking Naru could've once been against the Academy." Lucas shrugged and pet his rabbit. "Either way, he seems to have a soft spot for her."

"So it would seem." Natsume spat out bitterly, and abruptly stood to walk to class. "Come on. We don't want to be late." He was glad for Mikan. He really was, but he didn't want anything to happen to her, and nothing in this place was free, and it was so damn unfair. His emotions were a confused mess where she was concerned and he hated that too.

"Whoa, Natsume, wait up!" Lucas called after him. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"You're not upsetting me Lucas. It's just the double standards I hate. This place is such a joke."

He felt guilty for killing Lucas's mood now too. Great. Could he do nothing right?

* * *

Natsume wouldn't get the opportunity to sort things, because it turned out that the play they'd been roped into participating in had more consequences than anticipated. By the time Natsume and Lucas had gotten to homeroom girls had flocked around them all asking if they would like to dance the Last Dance tonight. Natsume had glared at them, but hadn't risked burning them given his exhaustion, and he rather wanted to avoid Mikan screaming at him. Lucas had tried to refuse everyone politely, but had eventually given up and he and Natsume had sat down in silence steadfastly trying to ignore the siege.

"Hey, Natsume have you decided who you're going to dance the Last Dance with?"

"Get lost; you're annoying."

"Oh, you!"

"Ooh, I am a bit scared."

"Ugh! What is with these girls they're shameless," He heard Permy, of all possible people, declare loudly. "Natsume has always had some closet fans. They were all scared of him up until a while ago, so they just watched the two from the shadows, but they say the air around Natsume's softened lately, and suddenly there's this groundswell of tramps! And on top of that there was the play yesterday." She threw her hands up into the air in disgust. "Ugh! Natsume's stupid new appeal. There are even some girls form the junior high division saying "I wanna be your girlfriend," she taunted in a high -pitched voice, "I've had the hardest time wrangling them all."

Natsume cringed at her assessment that held a few too many uncomfortable truths.

"It's disgraceful." Mikan, ever-opinionated, naturally had to give her input. "They want to be Natsume's girlfriend? What's the world coming to when a molester who steals girls panties is popular?" It probably stung so much because he agreed with her.

"Well, a child like you probably doesn't understand Natsume's charm, is all." Permy flicked her hair back superciliously and went to yell and scare off the hovering girl's for which Natsume was mildly grateful, were it not for the fact that they didn't leave but just bickered with each other. At least it took their focus of him, mostly. Mikan looked hurt by Permy's reply and went to cuddle into Hotaru with little-sisterly affection that made Natsume's heart ache.

"Hey, who are you going to dance the Last Dance with, Mikan?" Anna asked.

"Could it be Lucas?"

"Well, I mean you were the Prince with Snow White yesterday." More and more people chimed in and suddenly there were two camps. Those who hovered around Mikan and those who hovered around Lucas and Natsume. "And you even kissed!"

"We didn't!" Mikan flushed and turned around in her seat angrily. "It wasn't like that."

"Hey, is that the girl who played the Prince yesterday?"

"The new student who's Natsume's partner or something, right?"

"Oh, right."

"Could she be going out with one of them? Don't tell me they arranged to dance with her? They've turned down all of us."

"She's just a little kid." Natsume rolled his eyes at that. They were the same age. If she was kid so was he. Idiots. Maybe he turned them down because they were aggravating as all Hell and he didn't want to dance? Did that ever occur to them?

"She's not as cute as everyone says."

Natsume watched as Mikan, becoming increasingly overwhelmed by all the comments directed at her and about her, finally snapped.

"Gyaar!' She stood up and roared, waving her arms indignantly. "What did I do to deserve people saying stuff behind my back? Set your fans straight." The last comment she directed specifically at Natsume and Lucas to Natsume's immense amusement. Regrettably the emotion didn't last. "I would never ever, dance the Last Dance with Natsume, never mind Lucas-Hop for now, let alone go out with him!" She took a deep breath, huffed, and concluded. "I mean, he's super annoying."

"Isn't that my line?" Natsume glared back at her. They both stared angrily before writing the other off as a bad job and pointedly looking in the other direction. Natsume wished he could sort himself out where she was concerned, but it wasn't looking very promising. She was just...a very aggravating presence. She was impossible to be indifferent to, or neutral about. She was like his personal tormenter. The classroom was now utterly silent.

"All right everyone," Narumi burst in the door. "It's about time to get ready for the after party. Please go to the dressing room and change into your formal attire." He looked around the classroom as if only just noticing not everyone was as peppy as he was. "My, what's with this atmosphere? I hope you'll cheer up." Mikan huffed and stormed out, and Mind-Reader chortled in the background. Natsume didn't dare think what at.

Her mood towards him hadn't much improved when they all met up around the bonfire. The moment Mikan saw Natsume she glared at him, and insecurely Natsume wondered if Imai had told her who had thrown that block at her. Maybe she blamed him for interfering with her and Lucas? Of course, that was probably silly; she had far more reason to hate him than that. She'd been needling him every opportunity she could since he'd flipped her skirt in the Haunted House. Oh, why couldn't she leave him alone? He noticed Lucas looking longingly in her direction as if trying to work up the nerve to ask her to dance, and Natsume took pity on him and shoved him in her direction.

"Huh? Natsume?" He cried out, but then he bumped right into Mikan as the dances were starting and used the opportunity Natsume had afforded him wisely this time.

The two of them seemed to quickly overcome any awkwardness and danced around happily, laughing and smiling. They looked like they were having fun. Natsume wondered what it would be like if he danced with her. It probably wouldn't look like that. Even if he hadn't already screwed everything up, he wasn't the way Lucas was, he couldn't make light conversation easily. He'd probably say the wrong thing in ten seconds and offend her.

Natsume walked away to where the refreshments were, and observed Mikan enjoy dance after dance. She was a naturally gregarious person and seemed to be having a blast, but Natsume couldn't help but notice she only danced one dance with Lucas, and immediately felt guilty for feeling any sense of vindication. When there was a lull after several dances, and he and Mikan made eye contact once again, (which reluctantly Natsume admitted only happened because he'd been watching her so intently), he made a point of glaring at her. Remembering her angry words from earlier he turned his back towards her, and asked an older girl to dance. He relished the offended look on Mikan's face.

The dance was unremarkable. Natsume hadn't even known the girl's name and had made no conversation. By the end of it, the simple exercise had left him out of breath, driving him home a brutal reminder: He had no future in this, no stake. He was being childish. He stalked off of to hide in the forest to sort himself out, and take in the fresh air. What was he playing at? All this dancing and celebrating. He had nothing to celebrate, and no business at all toying with Mikan, or feeling any kind of wounded pride over how she reacted towards him, especially after what he'd done. There was no hope in any of this for him. He was a shadow cast by the life he could have been, and any pleasure he felt at her wounded pride had long since diminished. Why was he getting bent out of shape when he had nothing to offer anyone anyway?

Did he like Mikan? At this point he had to reluctantly admit yes. How much he couldn't say, but you don't get jealous if you don't like someone. He had never imagined liking someone to feel like this. There was an overwhelming need to know her. To ask what it is that makes her chase her best friend down to a dubious Academy? Why did she go back for him? Why does she not give up? What's her favourite colour? What makes her keep standing back up? To know the nuances of her strange thought-processes. It's admiration and curiosity and attraction. He wants to know her more, and the idea of it almost seems to give him an eager adrenaline rush. She scares him, and thrills him, and drives him really, really mad. He wants to poke and prod and play and what was he supposed to do with it all? He could never pursue her even if he wanted to. He couldn't do that to Lucas, and he couldn't risk it with Persona and Kuonji. He just didn't know how to lay the boundaries with a girl who was so very bold. She broke every rule. Defied every logic. He was reasonably certain if she got offended at his rudeness in not asking her to dance, a part of her had expected the courtesy. She laid firm boundaries, but kept giving the benefit of the doubt, however that was possible. What do you do with that? It wasn't like he could tell her the truth. He breathed in, and let out the breathe with the reminder that he could and would let it all go. She was nothing but a could-have-been of a different, better life.

"Ah!" He heard someone shriek. How long he'd sat there embracing his quiet he couldn't say, but when he looked over his shoulder it was the very person he'd been contemplating. She looked uncertain in his presence, and very much put out with him. He was too tired to be angry. It felt like forgiveness, but he was the one who needed absolution.

"It's all so stupid."

"What?" Her angry expression slipped away into curiosity.

"This stuff...never had anything to do with me"

"Didn't you have fun at the festival?"

Did it matter? A charade to hide the truth of this Academy. Was there joy in that? He looked over at her, and saw the concern in her eyes. She'd never quit poking. She needed to be more careful. How could he explain to her? Apologise? Say he didn't want to hurt her, and protect her, and give nothing away?

"A naive girl like you should stay in the light, and out of the dark."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind; just go away."

"Huh?"

He sighed. It pained him to do it. He would be happy if she just sat down next to him in peace. He was so tired of fighting. "Hurry up and get lost, Ugly." He donned the facade like a well-worn coat.

"Look, you, same old routine, huh? Well I'm not falling for it a third time." She clenched her fist and fumed. "And would you quite calling me Polka Dots, and Strawberry Fields, or Ugly, and just learn my name already!"

Vulnerably, he looked up at her and met her gaze. "Mikan." He whispered her name. It tasted strange on his tongue, sweet and sharp, like a tender vow made manifest. It felt good to say it. "Mikan," he said again, this time more firmly, allowing himself, just once, the privilege of calling anyone by their proper name. It was strangely intimate. He could tell he shocked her. The ire had left; her body had slackened. "Now get lost. No back talk. Don't complain about what I call you anymore. That's my third command."

In the distance he heard Imai and Mikan would be dancing the last dance together and something inside ached as he smiled for that pair of best-friends.


	10. Unwanted

**Chapter 10: Unwanted**

Natsume and Lucas didn't discuss the Dance much afterwards. Lucas had blushingly admitted he'd had fun, and had been very pleased to see Natsume dancing too. Considering he wouldn't have have done that before, at least something good had come out of that moment of petty jealousy; Lucas had been reassured that Natsume hadn't been left out. Lucas was forever worried about fair. If he thought Natsume was unhappy, he would sit down with him and be miserable too. If dancing was what it took to make Lucas smile again, so be it. Still, the rumours swirling around about the play, Snow White, and Mr. Wildcat faded away, in large part because nobody liked to have Natsume glaring at them, and Lucas turned his focus towards studying for midterms.

Natsume couldn't say he had any interest in midterms. When he did his homework, it was never his best effort, and midterms were meaningless. When you focus so much on making it through the next day, and are reasonably sure you won't live to see thirteen, schoolwork means less than ever. Sometimes Natsume skipped midterms on principle, giving the Academy another middle finger, but Lucas wanted to be a vet someday, and Natsume was willing to get behind that. A diploma from Alice Academy would open a lot of options for Lucas, and Natsume wanted him to at least get something out of his stay here besides grief. As such, Natsume and Lucas quietly spent their time studying together so Lucas could get the best grades possible. It was nice. Between Mikan's arrival, his kidnapping, missions, and the Alice Festival, Natsume and Lucas had hardly had a moment of peace together in weeks. As much as Natsume despised the Academy, studying with Lucas, quietly side by side, asking the occasional question, was soothing.

Not everyone found it as such; when Mikan was told midterms were coming up in a week she vented loudly about how she _hated_ tests. She would study, and know everything really well, and then blank on the actual day. She hated sitting still for long periods. Her grandfather was always upset with her low grades. She swore once in second grade she came back with goose eggs. As always with Mikan, she narrated with dramatic flair that might make you feel the world was ending. It would have annoyed Natsume before, but now he watched out of the corner of his eye with curiosity and fondness. Mikan was passionate. It was just how she was made. And when Mikan, amidst the ribbing she was enduring from Hotaru about how tests must be difficult for idiots, was told by Pres about the Honour Student Award that might enable her to go home and see he grandfather for a week, she resolved to study harder than anyone ever had in history.

Natsume didn't understand her sudden enthusiasm. Mikan was being monitored by the school; her letters had been burned; it was next to impossible she'd win even if she got the best grades ever. Only the fact that Narumi seemed to have a soft spot for her allowed Natsume to even consider the possibility that she'd stand a chance. She was either oblivious, or didn't care the odds.

"Does anyone want to study with me?" Mikan cried out looking around the class. "Hotaru?"

"Oh, no. I've never seen the point of group work. If you don't study with someone equal to you in intelligence there's just no point. Besides, I think stupidity might be contagious."

"Hotaru! Oh, you."

"I'll help Mikan." Pres spoke softly.

"Thanks!" Mikan looked around, but there were no more takers. "Lucas?"

Lucas looked over at Natsume with apologies in his eyes, but also a confidence bourne of the new understanding he and Natsume had reached.

"Yeah, sure." He shrugged, trying and failing to pull off nonchalant, and sat over with Mikan.

Natsume wanted to reach out after him like a toddler with arms outstretched trying to grab things, so small almost everything was out of grasp. His friend tried to retain the aloof persona he'd adopted for Natsume's sake, but it was clearly softened by his gentle assistance of Mikan. Natsume ignored the familiar twinge in his chest. He was grateful, he reminded himself, that Lucas was losing the harshness. Mikan smiled widely at his friend, who shyly avoided her eyes and futilely pretended to be unaffected. The bitter truth was these days he wasn't sure who he was jealous of. Sometimes he was jealous of Mikan for hogging his best-friend, and for possibly being a better friend than he was. Other times, he was jealous of Lucas for his easy acceptance by Mikan. It was a very frustrating situation all around. So naturally, Mind-Reader and Fox-Eyes instantly joined the group as well, seemingly for the Hell of it, but likely because being around Mikan meant a riot, and they knew both Tobita and Lucas had a crush on her. (And Mind-Reader knew he did too.) The tutoring of Mikan Sakura began.

It turned out Mikan wasn't joking about blanking. She was confused by fractions with Fox-Eyes, Kanji with Mind-Reader, and poor Lucas was lost in his endeavour to teach her history. Even the basics like the year the first shogunate was established, 1192, seemed to be beyond her reach. Mikan could read one page, and by the second, forget what she had read on the first. It was mind-boggling. She was also very easily distracted. Natsume had a feeling if you wanted her to learn anything, you had to find a way to make it move. Soon Mind-Reader and Fox-Eyes were mercilessly teasing her about being a "genuine moron," and saying she was even stupider than they were. He couldn't say he appreciated them teasing her like that. She took the jokes in good humour, but he could tell that some of their words must hurt her. Lucas must have felt the same, because he categorically refused to join in their borderline bullying.

"Should we teach them a lesson?" Lift-Up sidled up to him to ask, glaring at the antics of Mikan's study group which had so quickly degenerated. "Those idiots are dragging Lucas into something again."

Natsume glanced over to watch Mikan run around the classroom avoiding her taunters and said nothing. What could he really say? In the corner, Mikan cried to Lucas that she swore Natsume's eyes were telling her she was stupid. Stupider than stupid. Lucas kindly assured her he was certain that hadn't been what Natsume had meant by his look. Natsume didn't know whether to thank him or clock him over the head.

Mikan sat down again to study and this time the more sensible members of the class came by to point out that no matter how hard she studied, she'd never win the honour of going home. These sorts of things were determined from the start, especially since everyone knew who the smart kids were; she should learn her limits, but Mikan refused all reason and told them all to "Shut up!" She was going to try her hardest, and nothing else would satisfy her. The rest of the crowd ran off to play dodgeball without her, leaving her in desperate misery. Mikan was serious, he mused, if she was giving up an opportunity to show off her athletic ability. She ran to her Special Ability class to get help, and Lucas sat back down with Natsume when Mikan started getting curious about why he wasn't aiming for the prize of going home. Natsume was dismayed to see him go from happy with Mikan to somber with him.

The pattern continued for the rest of the week. Mikan zipped back and forth between classes, friends, and tutors, refusing to stop for anything. What she lacked in Academics she made up in sheer grit and stick-to which was strangely compelling. She swore she knew she probably wouldn't win, but giving up would kill her conscience so study, study, and study she did. So far as Natsume could tell, it wasn't lack of intelligence or determination that hindered her, just lack of attention span. It was like watching a beautifully choreographed train-wreck. Towards the end of the week even Natsume's most disillusioned lackeys had noticed she'd gotten everyone else into study mode.

"And they're all guys who would get the same grade whether they studied or not!"

"It doesn't matter how hard you work; you're not going home."

"Well, I suppose there's the 'I don't want to lose to that idiot' factor."

The day before exams, Mikan had fallen asleep on her notes. She had clearly been staying up late. Feeling left-out and ashamed, even Lift-Up broke out a book, and Natsume found himself helping others in his gang beside Lucas study. Quietly breaking down key concepts, and poking fun with the rest of the boys was more genuinely satisfying than Natsume could have anticipated. He'd had few to no friends before Lucas with his family's constant moving; he never expected to feel so comfortable and accepted amongst people his own age, and his dry, acerbic sense of humour didn't seem to phase them too much. (Perhaps because it was better to be verbally burned than physically.) He almost cracked a grin when Mikan pointed out from her side of the classroom that _they_ were studying too.

"Well we're not doing it because of you or anything!" Lift-Up shouted back.

Yeah, right. Natsume wasn't in denial anymore. Mikan just rubbed off on you. It was something about the sincerity in the midst of cynicism that made them believe there was something other than shit in the world. A simple flower growing in a barren wasteland they couldn't bare to pluck, easy as it would be, because it had bloomed there against all odds, and there was something about the innocent vulnerability that almost served as a weapon.

The first midterm was Narumi's for Japanese. Narumi had walked in with his typical fake-smile and a pink suit with a bow. Passing out the tests he said,

"I'm tired of worrying myself sick over coming up with ways to prevent cheating every year, but in the end I devised an elaborate plan of my own for the content of this year's test. I hope you will all enjoy it."

By the time the papers had reached Natsume in the back row, groans had been heard throughout the class. Dreading what Narumi had come up with this time Natsume found:

Write a love letter to me (Mr. Narumi), and include five Kanji that you learned this year. It must be between 150-200 words long, and use three of the following: Personification, inverted sentence, conjunction, subjective.

Bastard. He was leaving it blank. When the exam was over, Mikan was the only one who thought she'd done well, and even seemed to have enjoyed it. Even the suck-up, Pres, was heard to say he was glad he hadn't wasted his serious studying for Japanese.

The rest of the exams were less ridiculous. Mind-Reader was busted for cheating by Mr. Misaki's test-monitoring cacti which had apparently made a point of laughing at all of Mikan's answers. Jin-Jin and Serina had tag-teamed their classes by threatening cheaters with lightning while Serina monitored for cheating through her crystal ball. Afterwards, Natsume found himself spending recess with a group of students comparing answers. He had said nothing, encouraged no conversation, and had merely tolerated everyone's presence. Over the next couple of days, Natsume had gotten complacent thinking that his simple plan to ignore Mikan, and live and let live was working. The events of the last exam for Social Studies changed everything.

This time a substitute teacher walked in calling himself Serio, and the number of Alice restraints he had in his ears and on his fingers were more than enough to convince people it wouldn't be worth the effort of cheating. Natsume recognised those Alice restraints. That was Persona in a wig. Why in Hell he was here, Natsume didn't know, but it couldn't be good. He was sure he must have failed the exam, he kept tensing, waiting for the attack which never came. As soon as time was up, and Persona left, Natsume dashed out the door after him.

"Hey! What are you trying to pull, Persona!" His rage made him brave. "Wearing that sorry excuses for a disguise, what's a creep like you doing in a classroom?"

"I was under orders from the headmaster." Persona removed his wig as they spoke. It occured to Natsume he'd never seen the man without his mask before. He almost wondered if there was a price to be paid for that knowledge. Persona's features seemed more delicate without them. It was like the difference between a coarse, blunt dagger, and a refined blade. "They say that lately your eyes aren't as wild as they used to be, and told me to ascertain the cause for myself, and while I was at it, I thought I might as well learn about that kitten of a different colour you've been hanging out with lately."

Natsume felt the contents of his stomach freeze to ice. "What are you talking about?"

"It was rather enjoyable. I never thought the day would come when I would see you quietly sitting in your seat taking a test even though there's nothing for you to gain in it." Persona smirked at him, and Natsume felt such a viscous hatred rise within him he almost struck the man. "After all, you haven't had a home or a family to go back to in a long time now." There was a pause as if Persona knew exactly the storm he'd wrought in Natsume's heart. "The headmaster advises against his pet cat," Natsume grit his teeth at that descriptor, "gaining any new favorites, especially that kitten of a different colour." Who the Hell talks like that?

"You're the ones who made her my partner!"

"That isn't really what the headmaster wanted." Persona turned and rotted the leaves off a nearby plant in a clear threat. "You had best be careful."

Natsume honestly felt like crying as Persona walked away. It was so unfair! He thought he'd finally settled things. He ignored Mikan; Mikan ignored him, and they both shared Lucas. Simple Easy. Now what was he supposed to do? Go out of his way to be nasty to her? He guessed he had to. Persona had just threatened to kill her, because, somehow, in spite of everything, they knew she brought some measure of joy into his life. She gave him hope. Can't have that. How Lucas was going to maintain a friendship with her if he treated her cruelly, he didn't know. Lucas's loyalty was only hurting him on that front, like earlier in the week when he'd stopped studying with her when she asked why he wasn't trying to go home. He kept Natsume's secrets, and Natsume was certain Mikan wouldn't get involved with him without knowing them. Of course, that was a while away yet, probably, and he'd likely be dead so it didn't matter. At this point, short of getting Aoi out, he thought the sooner it happened the better for everyone.

Natsume slammed the door to his bedroom when he entered, and threw himself on the bed, hoping to sleep away the rest of the day when a thought intruded. The immediate threat to Mikan had overridden the obvious. Why had Narumi paired them? And why had Imai and Sakurano encouraged it? If the principal hadn't wanted that, then why? And how could the principal have even known the effect Mikan would have had on him beforehand, anyway? Or was the reason they didn't want them close merely because of how her Alice could be used? Perhaps Naru had meant it as a punishment as he had always thought, and the principal had only found out after, and hadn't liked it? Perhaps Imai and Sakurano hadn't known? But, no, at that point, they would have had to have known Kuonji's opinion. They'd still told him to stay close to her like Narumi said. Unless they were going for reverse psychology, that was fishy. Everything was fishy, actually. Naru's true motivations lay completely confused, and now Imai and Sakurano who were supposed to be the most loyal of lackeys seemed suspect too. It was like thinking you were on solid ground and discovering it was quicksand. Natsume didn't know who to trust anymore. Everything was suspect. If enemies might be friends that was good, but could friends also be enemies? Well, Lucas definitely wasn't, and he was the only friend Natsume really had, so he'd just keep it that way. Far safer.

Left with no other alternative, Natsume skipped and ditched classes as much as he could. Avoiding Mikan was better than being nasty to her. His first DA class was worse than ever after Persona's warning, and it had left him on his knees coughing up blood, pain in every area of his body imaginable, but the next Alice class, Persona allowed him to focus more on weapons, and not abusing his Alice, making it clear to him how much of his health he'd be allowed was also held in the palm of the Principal's hand. Natsume kept to himself, and tried to get through. He swore he could feel his blood pressure rising, killing him quicker. He had migraines that could only come from living under an axe suspended over your head by thread. The days passed too quickly, because Natsume couldn't fathom how he could maintain this pattern. When the days bled into the first week, then the second, and Naru started to make snide comments about the consequences of ditching, Natsume grit his teeth and sat through homeroom hoping to be ignored. Almost the entire class was making fun of Mikan for having gotten the lowest grades, and she'd finally burst into tears and ran out the door. He found himself tempted to run out after her. He also wanted to burn anyone who had thought it fun to be mean to her. Instead, he did nothing, called her "ugly," and hated himself with an intensity which startled him. He was used to self-loathing.

Mikan on her part seemed to be trying to figure him out. Natsume had caught her watching him. It was one of those moments when someone catches you staring, you should be grateful, because they were staring at you too, but everytime their eyes caught, Natsume jerked his head away with what could only be interpreted as disdain, and Mikan would look disgruntled and turn around. He hoped she wouldn't stop, but she was bound to eventually. It was nice to think even a small part of her was curious about why he was so hot, and mostly cold with her.

"Natsume," Persona found him after the days classes were over. "We've a mission for you."

Natsume nodded once, and followed him to the DA room where Persona pinned the Black Cat mask on him. He figured he should feel something. Rage. Hate. Frustration. In truth, he felt numb. If he felt anything at all, it was relief. On missions he didn't have to keep up such a taxing charade.

"The mission is a simple one. The principal is expecting a shipment near where Reo kidnapped you. You will guard his vessel from any outside interference. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

It was Tonouchi who drove them there. He would amplify Natsume's Alice. They boarded the ship, and went out to see where the transfer of whatever Kuonji was trafficking would take place. Missions like this were fairly standard, and often enough nothing happened with them, but tonight was not that night. A different ship approached, heading towards them at such a blunt angle it was clear they were intent upon stopping the transfer from happening. Natsume found himself obliged to erect a thick wall of fire between them. He maintained it for far, far too long, and had to be creative in the way he maneuvered it to prevent the enemy from reaching them, but not prevent the transfer of cargo. Tono placed hands on his shoulders helping steady him as he boosted Natsume's Alice. It increased his power, but also the strain. Natsume could feel sweat beading on his forehead; his heart pounding rapidly as it fluttered in his chest. He swore he felt all of his rib muscles flex and ache with every breath he took. He was gasping shallowly. It would have been easier if Natsume had simply burned the other ship, but he couldn't bear the thought of killing or maiming people without due cause, so he bore the brunt of pain instead. When the transfer was complete, Natsume staggered off the boat with aches in every joint. When his feet hit pavement he passed out vaguely feeling Tono catch him before his head could slam the pavement.

He woke up in the hospital; Dr. Takayuki was there.

"Hello, Natsume."

"Hn."

"Yes, well," The man looked tired and clearly didn't want to be there, so they were both able to avoid the so-called niceties. "I had Imai repair what damage he could, but you may as well know that I've done a biopsy and it's clear your liver is suffering. If you've still been using your cough medication, you'll have to stop. It'll worsen your arrhythmia. I've added a new drug to your usual ones to help decrease inflammation. You remember the symptoms of liver disease to look for? I told you a few months ago when you heart problem got worse?"

Natsume nodded. He kind of did, things like testicular shrinkage and vomiting blood weren't things to forget, but it didn't really matter. He'd be here often enough anyway.

"Well, look out for those as well as the one's for nephritis. Everything in you's inflamed, which is to be expected with your disease."

"Did you add a refill for opiods?" He asked not looking at the Dr. He felt oddly like he'd fall apart if he did. "I'm almost all out."

"And I dare say you're in a lot of pain?"

A nod.

Takayuki sighed, hesitated a brief second, and wrote out another prescription and added it to the rest. "There. You can go whenever you please. Just drop by the pharmacy on your way out."

Natsume grabbed the prescriptions and walked out. He just wanted to go to sleep, and forget. He locked his bedroom door hastily, and scrambled up onto his bed, took his regular medications, and then popped out as many pain pills as he could. He didn't even care at the moment if he ODed or not. He just wanted not to hurt anymore. Pills around him on the bedspread, Natsume clutched his sheets in the agony which narrowed his world down to only the pain he could feel and the animal need to howl, retreat, escape. Tears trickled down his cheeks against his will, and as he passed out he wished desperately to have someone hold him.

That night he swore he dreamed his mother was there, holding him, whispering in his ear that it would get better. Things were working to get better already. Help had come. "Remember your name," she had whispered right before he'd woken up. For the life of him, he wasn't sure what that meant. It had been a running joke in his family that he'd been named jujube because the colour matched his mother's Alice stone, and their eyes. His mother hoped it would bring him luck and health, since the jujube was supposed to have medicinal properties. (All of which was discovered when his dad had bought his mom Natsume tea. He was named for tea. Tea. His sister had loved teasing him. He really missed her.) How this would help him in real life was utterly beyond him. Natsume didn't see how his name was supposed to help him anymore. It was just a fantasy, but his mother's well-wishes, dreamed or otherwise, did at least give him the discipline to get up again. He wanted her to be proud of him. She hadn't fought so hard for him to quit. Of course, the Academy had gotten her in the end too.

Natsume watched from homeroom as Mikan and her friends waved off their new acquaintance, Kaname, the shadow freak's best friend, back to the hospital. Was that his future? Condemned to stay in the hospital with Stage IV of Alice disease, waiting for organ transplants? God, he hoped not. Of course, even if it was, Lucas would be the only one to care. Natsume turned around and waited for class to start. Like a taunt, it was a celebration for Tobita who had won the honour student award and would be allowed to go home and see his family, including his little baby sister. Natsume sat in the corner trying not to feel sorry for himself, and failed miserably. He wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep.

He ditched the next two days of class, and damn Naru. When he returned he kept his actions simple. He did not allow Mikan close to him. If she approached, he walked away. If she talked to him, he utterly ignored her, called her names, or otherwise forced her away. It was tedious, and exhausting, but simple, familiar. When the weekend came again, he told Lucas he was tired, and spent it alone in his room, or with Youichi. That way Lucas wouldn't feel obliged to stick around, but how much longer this charade could continue, he couldn't say. Lucas was bound to catch on soon, and Natsume didn't know what to tell him, because he wasn't sure how Lucas would react. It was easier just to avoid it all. He couldn't face anything else, anything more. The idea almost made him hyperventilate.

Come Monday morning a new problem had arisen. While the rest of the class were wildly anticipating Tobita's return, Narumi told everyone to settle down, because he had an urgent announcement to make regarding the rumours from the new notices about "Alice Loss." Natsume had already read it that morning:

With regards to the "Loss of Alice" incidences that have been creating a lot of disturbances, there are no means of discovering the true cause, but at this moment five relatively active people in Japan have been affected by loss of their Alice. Is this caused by humans? Or natural contagious diseases? Or other reasons which are being investigated by many countries?

Amongst the students, if you discover abnormalities in your condition, please immediately contact you homeroom teacher or the school administration.

"These incidents are called "Loss of Alice Incidents," because this is the result of investigations that show these losses are not related to the Alice forms. In other words, these losses have not been caused by either over-use of an Alice, or an Alice that may only be used in childhood. We have proof of that." He continued to explain that the causes of the phenomenon were still unknown. "What we know is that a week ago the first victim appeared, after which six affected people have turned up in the past week. All of them are adult Alice's currently active outside the school. Surprisingly, immediately prior to the loss, there were no symptoms." As whispers and murmurs spread throughout the cass, Narumi hastily tried to reassure them. "Now, now, don't panic. At this point, no such thing has happened inside the school. Of course, that doesn't mean it will never happen. There's no way to predict if it will." Yeah, that was bound to decrease panic. Well done. "Therefore, if anyone feels that they or their friends are not acting normally, please contact a teacher immediately."

The class buzzed as Narumi left the classroom leaving havoc in his wake. He did that often, dropped bombshells, and left them all to deal with the shrapnel.

"Imagine losing your Alice out of the blue. So scary."

"Well, it's only affected adults so far, so maybe it doesn't affect kids!"

"But losing one's Alice means we can go back home. That isn't so bad, is it?"

Natsume had to say he agreed. Listening to Narumi talk this morning had filled him with a faint spark of hope, he hadn't dared allow himself to continue to feel, but if he could lose his Alice, maybe he could heal, maybe he wouldn't die. Maybe Natsume would be a lucky name, after all. Maybe.

"Wow, that's not so bad!"

"You are all idiots!" Shouda bit out. "Losing one's Alice means we can go home! It's disgusting."

It was the Chemistry Girl, Nonoko, that broke Natsume.

"Well, I would really like to go home and stay with my family forever, but losing my Alice would be horrible, because my Alice is already a part of my life, and to think I would never see anyone from school again... We've always been together, but only recently did we start getting along. If I couldn't see anyone, I think I would be quite sad."

Natsume stood up and made to leave.

"They've gone mad," Lift-Up muttered from his book as Mikan and her friends were trying to reassure each other in the corner of the classroom.

He wasn't a part of the class; he wouldn't be missed; he bitterly wished he didn't have his Alice, and if he left God knew what would happen to his sister, but Kuonji would have no reason to keep her with Natsume gone. There would be no benefit in it. This was all about Natsume's Alice, and he didn't want it. He didn't want it. All it did was hurt others and kill him. He wouldn't be sad to lose it. He'd just be a kid.

"Natsume!" He heard Lucas chasing after him. "Natsume! Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." He stopped walking, but didn't turn around to face Lucas who had stopped as well and stood in his shadow.

"Natsume, has something happened?" He hesitantly approached him. "These last few days, you've been a bit strange." Another few steps. "Has something cropped up again?"

Natsume forced a smile, and ruffled Lucas's hair. "Stupid! Nothing's wrong." Lucas looked a bit skeptical but offered a half-smile back. "I just don't want to listen to their yammering. I'm going to get some fresh air, okay?"

"Okay."

Natsume wasn't certain Lucas believed him, but as long as he hadn't burdened his friend, he was grateful.


End file.
